It’s been going on for a long time, men using the hashtag #NotAllMen as a way to silence women who speak up about rape, sexual assault, and harassment in their lives. These men seem to think that simply by saying that a proportion of men do not rape, assault or harass is enough to justify doing nothing about it and to suggest that the woman concerned is discussing a minority case.
This absolutely won’t do and I’m getting sick of men treating #NotAllMen as just some kind of “Get Out of Jail Free” card to avoid taking action and responsibility. It sounds suspiciously as if the woman is being gaslighted. Even worse, it seems that this once-noble concept is now automatically assumed to be a cop-out by everyone who sees it, male or female. I won’t tolerate this state of affairs to continue any longer.
Let’s get back to basics for a minute. #NotAllMen is a statement that NOT ALL MEN abuse women. Well, isn’t it fabulous that we live in a world where not all men rape, assault or harass anyone on the way to work or while brushing their teeth in the morning? Surely, isn’t that the way it is supposed to be? So, in all justice, the hashtag should be #NoMen. NO MEN should rape, assault, harass or abuse any women. Those that do have committed a criminal offense punishable by law and offenders can expect prison sentences to follow. I know that most perpetrators escape justice but even so, that’s how the law stands.
So are we to arrive at the conclusion that #NotAllMen is nothing more revolutionary than saying, “I’m not a criminal”? “I haven’t broken the law today”?
This pinpoints the most dislikable aspect of #NotAllMen — the way that men who use this hashtag are still happy to associate with criminals on account that those criminals are men. STOP ENABLING. Just as you wouldn’t want to say you hang out with mass murderers, you should absolutely get away from them, have nothing to do with them and steer well clear of even being associated with such people.
Further, the best way to do this is to reorganize and return #NotAllMen to its rightful position as a statement that men who never rape, assault, abuse or harass are completely separate from those criminals, never meet them in daily life, don’t tolerate rape culture and listen to women when they tell their woeful stories.
I strongly propose that men who never rape re-classify themselves as #AllMen. We should live in a world where all men don’t rape, so let’s start today. There is a vast army of average guys who treat women with respect, love their wives completely, believe in right and wrong and support women’s rights simply because it’s the right thing to do, who believe that all human beings should be treated with dignity and honor and that doing these things makes them men. Moreover, these men should advance their cause daily and fight the good fight and be highly visible in the media.
Then, when they have built up a track record of fine achievements, they can safely say that rapists, harassers, abusers, and assaulters are #NotAllMen, simply because such guys don’t belong to their group and do not demonstrate the qualities necessary to be a man.
It is hoped that such an approach will return this hashtag to dignity and create the divide in the ranks of males that is necessary in order that women’s rights be protected and men advance to the higher status that can be achieved by them when they are no longer linked to the fell denizens that would drag them down to a level that no man in his right mind would ever want to experience.
Previously published on Medium.
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