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If you’ve ever been afraid to take a risk, you know how debilitating the feeling can be. It’s like someone put a big boulder on your chest and you struggle to breathe. You’re terrified of making a mistake and looking foolish, so you don’t do anything at all. But if you can find ways to reduce your fear of taking risks, you’ll find that life is much more enjoyable. You’ll make progress in areas where you’ve always wanted to grow and achieve your dreams, rather than just sitting on the sidelines and watching other people live their lives. Let’s look at some ways to do that.
Define what risk you want to take.
It’s tough to know where to start if you’re trying to take more risks. First things first: what do you want to change? You may have some vague ideas, or maybe you feel a little lost. Whatever your situation, be as specific as possible. Are you scared of changing careers or taking a chance on a new relationship? Focusing on a specific area for change makes it easier for your brain to help you create new habits. Write down what you want to change in a journal, so you can refer back to it.
Ask yourself if the risks are worth the reward.
One way to reduce the stress and anxiety associated with risk-taking is to ask yourself whether the risk is worth the reward. This can be helpful whether you’re thinking about moving in with your partner, quitting a job, or starting a new business venture. In all these cases, there are pros and cons, including emotional ones. What’s more important to you? Do the emotional costs outweigh the potential risks that might come with failing?
Questioning yourself like this will help put into perspective how much time and energy you want to spend on pursuing a goal. If it’s not worth it, then maybe it’s not something you should pursue.
Create a plan for what happens if you fail.
Envision a plan for what will happen if you fail (or if your risks don’t pan out). This will reduce the fear of taking a risk. People who are afraid to take risks often worry about negative outcomes without making plans to deal with them. Making an action plan for things that can go wrong will give you confidence and help you feel in control.
For example, if you’re worried about being unable to pay bills after quitting your job, it might help to calculate how much money you would have left each month after the bills are paid. Then, find ways to save money so that this amount is enough for your needs.
If it isn’t enough, maybe now is not the right time to quit your job, or maybe it’s worth finding another part-time job that makes up the difference between your bills and income. Having a backup plan if things don’t work out can also reduce anxiety about taking risks because it means that even if something goes wrong, there’s still a way forward.
Another helpful exercise when planning for risk is asking yourself how this contingency plan compares to the potential risks of doing nothing at all. After weighing one option against another, ask yourself which outcome is more favorable or less unfavorable given the situation. When weighing the options, consider both immediate and long-term consequences, as well as any opportunities missed by taking no action at all (e.g., opportunities lost due to inaction).
Think about why you’re afraid to take risks.
Next, think about your own specific fears. Why are you afraid to take risks?
Some common reasons people fear taking risks include:
- Fear of failure. You think that if you take a risk, it could negatively affect you.
- Fear of success. You might be afraid to succeed because it would force you to question who you are or make changes to fit the new situation.
- Fear of the unknown. Maybe the idea of change is what’s scaring you. Even if it’s positive change, it can be scary not knowing what will happen when things start changing for the better.
- Fear of loss of control. If you feel like something has been going fine and don’t want to mess with it, change may seem frightening, because there’s no way to know exactly how things will go after they’ve changed. (And therefore, no way to be totally in control.)
Take small steps toward what makes you afraid, and make those small wins into big ones.
Whether you have an aversion to heights or get cold feet in the face of a job interview, fear is real. It’s not all bad, though. Some fears are healthy, as they protect you against danger or trigger positive change. But if you struggle with irrational or excessive fear, there’s good news. Awareness is the first step toward overcoming it.
Make a list of things you’ve done that have paid off.
An interesting exercise is to list the things you’ve done that have paid off, even if they didn’t feel like big risks at first. These might be things like quitting your job, taking on a new project at work, or asking for help. Once you’ve made the list, add to it every time you do something that pays off in some way. Even if it seems small and insignificant, write it down. Over time, this list will grow and become overwhelming evidence that good things can happen when you take even the smallest risks.
Make a list of risks that led to accomplishments.
Let’s say you’re debating whether to quit your job and become a full-time writer. You might start by writing down all the accomplishments you’ve had in your career as a freelance writer, even if they weren’t things directly related to writing.
Next, list all your achievements outside of work–your awards, accolades, milestones–no matter how big or small. Finally, write down every risk you can remember taking that led to one of these accomplishments.
If this exercise seems silly, just go with it and see what happens when you make the lists. Afterward, ask yourself: Is there any overlap? Are there any recurring themes? Are there any patterns or habits that show up in each of these lists? Look for similarities among the risks that have brought about your greatest successes throughout all areas of your life.
If nothing else comes out of it, but a confidence boost, then it was worth doing! But most likely, this will help you clarify where your skills lie and what areas give you an advantage over others when taking risks.
Know that avoiding risk can be a negative too.
If you spend too much time worrying about risk, it’s easy to forget about all the potential benefits that come with taking that risk. You might think about what will happen if the risk doesn’t pay off, and why you should try to avoid it altogether. The truth is, avoiding risk can be just as scary as facing it. What will happen if you don’t take a chance on something? How many opportunities are you passing up because you’re scared to try something new? If a particular fear is holding you back from pursuing something worthwhile, consider how your life would be different if you could overcome this fear. Would there be more opportunities available to you? Would your life be better in general? Asking yourself these questions can help motivate you to take risks and live more fully.
Try this exercise:
- Imagine taking the risk and having it work out, and then ask yourself how you would feel.
- While imagining this course of events, picture in as much detail as possible what success would look like, feel like, smell like, sound like, taste like.
- Think about the feelings that come up when you imagine something working out–how would you feel if you took a risk and it paid off?
- Now imagine the opposite happening, taking the risk and failing to get what you want or meet your goals. How does it make you feel?
- Again, using all your senses, identify what failure looks like, feels like, smells like.
Think about how life will be different when you’ve gotten past your fears and taken the risks you’re putting off.
Envision the “after”
Picture your life after you’ve gotten past your fears and taken the risks you’re putting off. Envision how much better it will be once you’ve experienced them. See how happy and fulfilled you’ll be when they’re in your rear-view mirror. Imagine how much less stressed you will be, how many opportunities you’ll have, how much more courageous and confident you’ll feel. That’s what awaits you on the other side of taking a risk right now–so refuse to let fear stop you from reaping these benefits.
The Bottom Line
Taking risks is scary, and if you feel like you’re not naturally inclined to do it, the thought of taking one can be terrifying. You might even act impulsively to avoid thinking about the possibility of risk. But there’s a way to get past your fear: take small steps forward.
First, stop thinking that all risks are created equal. Not all risks are worth taking–sometimes they aren’t even really risks at all! It’s important to distinguish between calculated risks and acts of pure recklessness. A calculated risk has benefits that potentially outweigh the cost if things go wrong. However, buying a yacht simply because “I’ve always dreamed about riding around on a yacht” isn’t a calculated risk; it’s just reckless!
Second, figure out what risks you feel comfortable with from the start, and which ones you’re more likely to procrastinate over because they scare you so much. This will help you compartmentalize what kinds of changes or challenges are worthwhile versus which ones aren’t. There are some things you shouldn’t rush into. Recognize that.
