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Addiction is a global epidemic. In fact, according to the World Health Organization, drug and alcohol abuse affects over 270 million people worldwide. That means that roughly 1 member in every 3 households is struggling with addiction. If you are one of the growing segments of the global population who is dealing with someone you care for who is coping with substance abuse, here are the best tips for helping a loved one with addiction.
What NOT to Do
Perhaps it might be a good idea to discuss what not to do when helping struggling addicts before diving into the best tips to help loved ones with addiction. For example, approaching an addict with aggression, force or threats simply won’t work. In truth, tossing out ultimatums, yelling at loved ones, or threatening them can actually exacerbate the issue, causing them to fall deeper into the vicious addiction cycle.
Criticism doesn’t work either. Odds are, your friend or loved one is fully aware of the problems born from substance abuse. They’re probably also familiar with how the substance is ruining their life and relationships. What’s more, typical addicts are already racked with guilt and shame for their condition and the consequences that ensue from addiction.
Instead, consider getting family substance abuse counseling where a professional can mediate the often explosive thoughts and feelings involved with helping a loved one with addiction. Family addiction counseling can help you and your loved one communicate with more clarity so that all parties understand what’s going on without making an already challenging situation worse. In addition to family counseling, here are a few other ideas for helping a loved one with addiction.
Watch Your Words
As any family substance abuse counselor will tell you, words are crucial when it comes to helping a loved one through addiction issues. For instance, try turning around negative statements into positive ones. Instead of saying “I hate it when you drink heavily” – replace that with a positive statement like, “I love being with you when you’re sober.”
Also, try to add more compassion to your language instead of accusation. Turn around statements such as “You’re so selfish when you’re using.” into a statement such as, “I can see how the addiction makes you feel helpless, and I am here for you.” Changing your language around can make a positive impact on helping the addict in your life feel better understood and less alone in their process of recovery.
Make a Commitment and Prove It
In many cases, people struggling with addiction tend to feel unworthy of help. That’s why it’s important for you to make a commitment to support and help your loved one as well as prove that you are there for them on the path to recovery. You can demonstrate your support by contacting them regularly by phone or text. Also, send them cards via snail mail as a reminder that you are always there.
When or if your loved one does call you back, make every effort to listen, be present and be by their side in time of need. Furthermore, pick up on chores or responsibilities if appropriate. For example, you may offer to take the kids off your loved one’s hands, or help clean the house, mow the yard – whatever you can see that could help as well as show the one you care for that you are invested in his or her wellbeing will go a long way to proving your commitment.
Do Things Together
You can reinforce your commitment and care by arranging things to do with your loved one. But not just any activities – seek out fun and stimulating engagements. Arrange a few classes at a pottery studio, invite your loved one to partake in transformative yoga with you, or schedule a weekly meditation class together.
All of these are healthy examples of activities that are both healing and engaging for an addict. These activities can potentially teach alternative behavioral skills. These and other similar activities are also supportive of physical and mental health, which is what most addicts desperately need.
Remember to Care For Yourself
Ultimately, the commitment to help a loved one with addiction boils down to making some significant changes in your own life too. Devoting your love, time, and attention to someone struggling with addiction requires patience, empathy, and deep emotional fortitude. As such, you must also practice self-love and be mindful of your own wellbeing. Furthermore, try to be just as patient with yourself as you are to your friend, partner or family member who is struggling with addiction.
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