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One of the most common questions I receive after keynotes is whether I would ever return to Syria. The question is usually delivered with equal parts curiosity and disbelief. My answer has always been the same: maybe someday.
That someday recently arrived.
Seven years after being taken hostage and wrongfully detained inside Syria’s prison system, I returned to Damascus with my wife, Natasha, and our unborn daughter.
In 2019, during the final stretch of a decade-long journey to travel to every country in the world, I was arrested by the Assad regime and falsely accused of being an American spy. I was held for nine weeks, not knowing when, or if, I would be released.
Only after returning home did I learn the full story of what my family, friends, government officials, journalists, Vatican leaders, and countless others had done to secure my freedom.
Since then, I have also learned the sobering truth that many hostage stories do not end the way mine did. Far too often, Americans taken captive overseas never make it home. Every year that passes, I become more grateful simply to be alive and healthy.
Sam Goodwin with Natalie Larrison of the Syrian Emergency Task Force (SETF) at a mass grave on the outskirts of Damascus.
Like anyone who experiences trauma, I faced a choice. I could allow the ordeal to define the boundaries of my future, or I could continue moving forward despite it.
Over the past seven years, I completed my travel journey to all 193 countries. I earned both a master’s degree and a doctorate, writing my thesis and dissertation about the conflict in Syria. I published a memoir, Saving Sam. I built a speaking and coaching business focused on helping leaders navigate uncertainty. I got married. This November, Natasha and I are expecting our first child, a daughter.
I chose to keep moving and building.
Part of the reason I returned was practical. Last September, during the United Nations General Assembly in New York, I spent 45 minutes meeting with Ahmed al-Sharaa, Syria’s new president. Before we parted, he invited me to return to Damascus. The meeting, and ultimately this trip, were made possible by my friends at the Syrian Emergency Task Force (SETF), a DC-based advocacy organization comprised of some of the most impressive and dedicated people I have ever met.
But the real reason I returned was gratitude.
During my captivity, I met extraordinary men. Some shared food in our cell when I had none. Others helped me obtain a pair of glasses after my contacts expired. Some risked punishment to pass information between prisoners. One inmate helped smuggle out a letter that ultimately played a role in proving I was alive. These were not grand gestures. They were acts of humanity in a place where humanity was often in short supply. This trip gave me the opportunity to reunite with many of those men and thank them in person.
During his return trip, Sam Goodwin visits Sednaya Prison with members of SETF while reflecting on the country’s past and future.
When I wrote Saving Sam, I used fake names for several of them to help protect their identities. One of the unexpected joys of this trip was sitting together in Damascus and laughing about the names I had given them in the book.
The trip brought me back to places I never expected to see again. I returned to the prisons where I was detained and revisited the court where decisions about my future were made. We met with ministers from Syria’s new parliament who are working to rebuild a country that has endured years of conflict, instability and suffering.
Syria itself had changed as well. When I left the country in 2019, I had lost ten pounds during captivity. This time, it felt like I returned home ten pounds heavier, thanks to the hospitality of the Syrian people. The difference felt like more than a coincidence. In many ways, it mirrored a country working to move forward after years of hardship.
Sam Goodwin reunites with former fellow inmates Baker and Erfan in Damascus, sharing copies of Saving Sam, reflecting on their time in captivity and expressing gratitude for the ways they helped him survive.
There was another moment that stayed with me. In 2019, one of the reasons I entered Syria on a Saturday was so that I could attend Mass the following morning. I was kidnapped before I ever made it there. Last week, seven years later, Natasha and I attended Mass at St. Paul’s Chapel in the Old City. It was a simple moment, but a powerful reminder that some journeys take us much longer than we ever expect.
People often ask whether I resent Syria. The answer is no. I resent what happened. But a country is not its government, and a people are not their politics. Returning to Syria was not about forgetting the past. It was not about proving anything to anyone. It was about refusing to let fear write the final chapter.
Too often, we allow our hardest experiences to determine the limits of our future. I understand that temptation. But I have learned that growth is not found in avoidance. Growth is found through intentionally taking action.
That is why I completed my travels. That is why I wrote a book. That is why I built a career helping others navigate uncertainty. And that is why I returned.
Seven years ago, I was unsure whether I would ever have the life I hoped for. This year, I returned alongside the woman I love, the daughter we are preparing to welcome into the world and gratitude for the simple reminder that none of us make it through life’s hardest moments alone.
The prisons were still there. The memories were still there. But fear and uncertainty no longer had the final word.
Sam and Natasha Goodwin enjoy shawarma in Damascus during Sam’s first return to Syria since 2019. Shawarma was the last meal Sam ate before being kidnapped seven years earlier.
About Sam Goodwin
Sam Goodwin is an American keynote speaker, bestselling author and founder of SGI Ventures. Visit him at https://www.samrgoodwin.com/
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