Future dads are you ready?
I cried when I heard the heartbeat
I cried when I learned it was a boy
I cried when he entered the world and into my hands
He cried too
For 1380 days in a row he has cried
In the morning
His brother came out crying too
Crying by the Numbers
In the first year, a baby cries anywhere from one to four hours (probably more) a day. That is 365 to 1460 hours of crying in one year. If crying could be harnessed as an energy source, a baby could power a kegerator, a toaster oven, and a laptop all at the same time.
It is estimated that 1.3 calories are burned per minute of crying which means a one year old has burned anywhere from 28,500 to 114,000 calories wailing away in the first year of his/her life. Breast milk has roughly 20 calories per fluid ounce thus 1425 to 5700 ounces of breast milk were consumed to fuel a year of crying. Or if breast milk came in six-packs, that’s anywhere from 20 to 80 six packs.
Kids generally stop crying about “everything and anything” between the ages of 2.5 to 4 years of age. My oldest is almost 4 and we haven’t had a cry-free day yet. That’s 912 to 1460 days in a row where crying is part of a parent’s daily soundtrack. If parents have two children two years apart like we did, there is the potential of half a decade or more of crying.