A brief inter-departmental memo offering a behind-the-scenes look at parenthood.
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To: Future Parents
From: Mr. Cufflinks
Date: March 8, 2013
Re: Parenthood
Regardless of what you have seen on television or on your favorite Pinterest boards, being a parent will never be a slow-motion game of tag through a wheat field or a series of ridiculous photo-ops in barnyards.
Parenthood is ugly. Parenthood is scary. Parenthood is difficult and trying and will push you beyond your limits.
Parenthood is dealing with a 5-year-old who can’t fall asleep because his stomach hurts.
Parenthood is being terrified because you don’t know if his cries of pain are just whining caused by a need for affection or if they are sincere cries of pain caused by appendicitis.
Parenthood is having your body destroyed by a combination of strep throat and bronchitis and still searching the term “Pediatric Stomach Pains” on your iPad with your right hand while rubbing your son’s belly with your left hand at midnight.
Parenthood is having to get up at 4:45am to start getting ready for work and still getting up to take care of your 2-year-old daughter while your husband consoles your son while simultaneously using the iPad to attempt to diagnose your 5-year-old’s stomach pain at midnight.
Parenthood is realizing that neither you nor your wife are trained pediatricians and you should not place your trust in a website to diagnose your precious son.
Parenthood is making the decision to take him to the emergency room because you can no longer stand to see him in so much pain.
Parenthood is getting him dressed and having him wait on the couch while you get yourself dressed.
Parenthood is finally getting yourself dressed only to come out and realize that he has vomited on the couch and, as expected, is suddenly feeling “…a lot better Daddy”.
Parenthood is stripping the couch covers and throwing them in the wash at 12:15am with a slight smile on your face because, in spite of the terrible exhaustion you and your wife will feel in a few hours, your son is feeling better and his health and happiness is the only thing that truly matters.
Parenthood is ugly. Parenthood is scary. Parenthood is difficult and trying and will push you beyond your limits.
But you can do it.
Because your kids are amazing. And, if you don’t do your job, then who will?
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Thanks for your poignant and candid comments Tom and Megan! These types of dialogues are beneficial to my overall understanding of parenthood and fatherhood and I really appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts and experiences.
But I can relate to what you’re saying. It took my wife and I eight years of trying before we had our first child and even at that, pre-birth we had several scares. At 6 months my wife had an intestinal blockage which required major surgery. Heck for that matter, the day my daughter was born we had a crisis (prolapsed cord). So I guess anything that followed was a cake walk. I guess if I dig deep, I can bring back the details of when my son was three and broke his leg (tibia), or the time when my… Read more »
I have to ask, what do you mean by ‘ready?’
It could be taken to mean willing, even eager… in which case I, too, was ready. But I always interpreted it as “do you know what you’re getting yourself into?” That’s an entirely different question!
When I was expecting my son, total strangers would ask me, “so, do you think you’re ready to be a mom?” I’d say “no, I don’t. Which probably means I have a head start.” I think I was right. Nobody’s prepared for parenthood – the bad OR the good.
I completely agree with you Megan. When we were expecting our first, my family and friends would always ask me “So, are you ready?” and my answer was always “Uh, I guess I don’t have much of a choice now, do I?” I don’t think it inspired much confidence in my future parenting skills. But, hey, I was being honest. And, since both of my kids are happy and healthy and not running around the house naked (well, at the moment they aren’t) I’d say I’ve been pretty successful.
Well done!
And hey, nothing wrong with the occasional bout of running around naked!