Erin Kotecki Vest believes we owe it to every child to move the discussion on race forward.
Originally posted on The Queen of Spain Blog.
My son wears a hoodie every single day to school. He covers his head faithfully and rarely hears friends say hello as we walk inside or adults saying good morning as he tends to be lost in his own world, muffled by the hoodie around his ears.
My son would do anything for his little sister and happily get her candy. He would even question any adult questioning him for no reason–as we have taught him to stand up for himself, speak out for what is right, and question authority. He would run from strangers. He would, however, feel safe with a police officer.
I think.
My son, however, can do all of these things without fear. He is white. He ‘belongs’ in that suburb. He looks like every other white kid in the area and a ‘neighborhood watch captain’ would easily dismiss his walking down the street as a normal, every day occurrence. As would a police officer. As would the community.
As a white mother to a white son, I’ve never had to explain to him what he should and should not do when confronted by police. I’ve never had to talk with him about how the world views him or prayed he wouldn’t be next.
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Yet we live in a world where people deny racial issues still exist. They do not even understand white privilege. They actively cry ‘reverse racism’ as if they are the victim. They even have the nerve to call those who fight for racial equality ‘race baiters,’ ’racers’ and have attempted to spin and twist and re-write history as if THEY have lost out because Americans owned slaves and those slaves were oppressed for generations, after which they were then oppressed under Jim Crow and then under the institutionalized racism that continues to permeate our culture today.
Yet these NON ‘of color’ victims’ have started a very dangerous trend, a very risky trend, a very uninformed and downright stupid trend that has them looking like very scared white folk, realizing their hold over the majority-and power-is slipping.
You see, as ‘one of you’ I get to hear all about it from family and friends and neighbors and others who seem to think that just because I am white I ‘understand’ what they mean when they say ‘our neighborhood is changing’ and ‘that school has too many kids who don’t speak like our kids’ or ‘you know the high school only recruited him because he can play ball.’
Then there are the comments on blogs and national media calling the NAACP racist, the United Negro College Fund racist, and those who support our President racist because we have the nerve to notice these overwhelmingly white people are angry and saying things and doing things they would NEVER do if the man occupying the oval office were caucasian.
They say all these things while innocent children, carrying candy in a suburb, are shot for walking down the street while black. As Jackie Summers writes,
“This isn’t some fresh new hell; it’s torn open old wounds most would prefer to believe have healed.
The concept that you are suspicious.
The concept that you have to justify where you are and what you’re doing.
The concept that there are people who are so afraid of you, they feel they’re protecting themselves and others, by killing you, even if you’re unarmed.
The concept that those charged with law can show up, knowing exactly what happened, and choose not to uphold it.
The concept that it requires a national outrage to incite justice.
The concept that there are those who would vociferously defend the murderer out of one corner of their mouths, and accuse the murdered from the other.For no other reason than the color of your skin.”
Yet if you were to read a Right Wing blog today, you would think THEY were the victim or horrible racial attacks. The last I checked, white children like mine, even in hoodies, even walking in a suburb with candy, were not being shot for walking while white.
It is far from time for the white, right-wing to drop this act of victimhood in the American stories of racial inequality. It is embarrassing. It is ignorant. It is offensive.
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Trayvon is not the first black child to die, he will not be the last. We owe it to every child to move the discussion on race FORWARD. Forward means NOT back to eras that have long past and have long ago put an indelible mark of hatred and evil on our nation that some on the right seem to think have been made up for, erased, or should be at the very least whitewashed, refusing to feel guilt for something they had nothing to do with. I don’t feel guilt as a white liberal, I feel anger. I feel anger that some conservatives say they see no color, claim to operate on an even playing field, and refuse to even discuss racial implications in any debate for fear they will have to be honest with themselves, our history, and the glaringly obvious fact we have NOT come as far as we would like to think.
We owe it to children of color to know the world MY children have grown up knowing. Where they don’t need to be told that they have to make allowances for other people’s racism because …’That’s part of the burden of being black. We can be defiant and dead or smart and alive.”
It is time to change the conversation, and it starts with the adults. I have no right to send my son to school tomorrow morning in his hoodie without fear, when so many other mothers will be sending their sons off wondering if they will ever come home.
Random … great point. It’s all about communicating with your kids and being involved.
Can I ask how old your son is? If he’s a child (<12) like the kid in the photo, then he's not likely to be deemed threatening regardless of race. If he's an adolescent though, you probably should have that conversation with him about how to behave with law enforcement, whether he's white, black or latino. And, if you happen to find yourself on the lower orders of the socioeconomic ladder, make it doubly so. The reality is people use age, gender, ethnicity and socioeconomic status to prejudge the actions and intent of persons unknown to us and the absence… Read more »
Given that even Geraldo has been seen wearing a “hoodie”, as well as over a dozen white people of last sexes(in London), one wonders where the “dangerousness” came from- it was of course based on skin colour plain and simple and no amount of BS from Geraldo,intellectual “Stepin Fetchits” like Thomas Sowell can obfuscate this issue
Well written, too bad you made it political. This is about racism and intolerance, not politics. Everyone, including Dems and Republicans, is outraged over Zimmerman and the circumstances.
Zimmerman is just a wannabe Texas Ranger, Batman and Punisher combined into one.
You all are so caught up trying to point the finger at someone else that you’ve failed to realize that this isn’t about racism from one group to another, it’s not about racism overall, it’s not about sexism etc. This is only about intolerance as a whole. Looking to blame one group such as conservatives for having these feelings of racism is just as bad as the racism that you’re trying to stop. It is the exact same line of thinking that got us here in the first place. Categorizing things/people is easy. That’s why our natural instinct is to… Read more »
Tom, while I appreciate your rant…my kid is 8. He has never had a playdate out of my site. He’s not flashing any gang signs. But when he graduates from legos I will know what to look for.
Erin, I’m happy that you’re on top of things and I pray your son stays in the lego stage because legos are fun. More people should be involved and know exactly what their kids are doing and who they hang with.
Not to scare ya but many of the kids I work with started experimenting with drugs at your sons age. It’s moved into grade schools. Keep a watchful eye …. you’re a good dad, keep up the good work.
One last thing … Right over left arm fold, as shown in the photo represents dominance over the other. and here are some stats:
There are:
• 731,500 Gang Members in the US
• 21,500 separate Gangs
• The average age is 18
• 90% of gang members are MALE
• 10% of gang members are FEMALE
• 49% of gang members are HISPANIC/LATINO
• 34% of gang members are African American
• 12% of gang members are CAUCASION
• 5% of gang members are Asian or other ethnic groups
Who gives a shit. This is not about a ‘gang’.
This article was about Trayvon Martin. Who was an innocent kid buying skittles for his sibling.
The fact you are bringing up gangs is a smokescreen and a bunch of b.s.
This article is about how racist crazy f*cks like Zimmerman should be behind bars instead of walking free.
Smoke screen? I think not. I don’t know of one person that feels what happen was right. If you read the article, you need to understand what’s happening out there and not have your head in the sand. Too many lids are being hurt and we have to wake up and as someone said, work together to do something. PS … I’ve been to 14 funerals of kids that have either died of drug overdose, bad drug deals or killed by gang members. No smoke screen. One idiot is Florida is nothing compared to the idiots on the street that… Read more »
Tom, from one man to another. Illuminating and extremely relevant posts
Thank you James,
Before I go into my rant, I guess I have to preface that the fool in Florida was wrong for what he did and I hope he gets what he deserves as the law enforcement that didn’t arrest him in the first place. Every school in my school district allows hoodies to be worn but the hood part of the hoodies has to be taken off in the school building. It’s not just the hoodies but it’s also the way the hood is worn. Wearing the hood half on the head can be considered gang representation. I encourage all of… Read more »
If this were all and only about racism black girls and women would be getting shot and killed as often as black men. They aren’t. If we continue to make this only about racism, imagining that racism is the cause, and ending it is the solution, know that that will absolutely, positively ensure that hundreds of black boys and men will continue to be shot and killed every month, often with no investigation. If that’s what is wanted, proceed with yet another town hall discussion about race, which historically has had zero impact on reducing the number of our boys… Read more »
I think this is an important point. We should also consider the sexist and other aspects of this crime.
I live in a country where practically above 98% of population is white and yet, when I see somebody wearing a hoodie I prepare myself for trouble… the way we dress say a lot about our social standing etc.
Travis you seem to think we’ve come a whole lot further in race relations and understanding than I certainly have witnessed. Finger wagging, politeness, screaming in faces, I don’t really care how it gets done… it needs to get done. I’m tired of ignorance being used as the excuse for white people not understanding the complex reasons they are not directly responsible yet still NEED TO DO SOMETHING all while moaning and complaining how racist the NAACP is or some similar organization. I can’t treat them as individuals when they organize and vote as a collective. And as for those… Read more »
If the cost is to make me feel guilty over something that I had no part in, then sorry. Count me out. I’m tired of carrying the weight of everyone else’s agenda around on my back.
Since I was a kid, I’ve been made to feel guilt over my gender and race, and for what? Fuck that, I’m done carrying that weight. Wag you finger in someone elses face.
Thank you for your honesty! I have four “Trayvons” and I live for the day they can experience the same freedom as your son!
Here’s a hint: Someone who is not a racist–like most readers of this article and most of those who write the types of blogs that this article decries–loses all motivation to talk or learn about real issues of race when they’re told they must bear the responsibility and shame for things that they have not caused and have probably actively worked against in their lives. It’s almost as if wagging a finger in someone’s face and screaming “You’re the problem!” doesn’t work. Fancy that. The problem is, people on every side of the race issue are getting worked up over… Read more »
You speak as if white people nowadays are being held to account for past wrongs…
THERE ARE *PRESENT* WRONGS.
There are present white people who are benefiting from the remaining de facto racial apartheid in America. Who are benefiting from being on the top of the heap.
FOR THE LAST TIME, HISPANICS CAN ALSO BE WHITE!!!!!!
*deep breath*
I just cannot take this absolute ignorance of ethnicity anymore.
Carry on.
Can they? They can make that choice? If they choose to be white could that make them racist against their own ethnicity?
in Europe theres no distinction regarding Iberians as being a separate people. Theres a heavier basque influence genetically (as there is in Ireland) but they’re still considered very much to be caucasians.
But certainly in terms of opportunities to integrate, Iberian caucasians have alot more opportunities in the US than people of african descent.
Actually PursuitAce, my point was to show white privilege and to show racism as it exists in portraying black boys (in particular) as always suspicious. Always the suspect. Always up to no good. Always ‘criminals’- in that case Zimmerman’s race does not matter. While Latino/Black relations are an issue (I live just outside of LA, believe me, I know) in this case we are discussing the black male as always being thought of as up to no good- thus the discussion of why my white son wouldn’t be seen the same.
“Bipartisan” (btw I have a huge pet peeve when people do not use their name in comments… normally I do not even answer them because I find that you are hiding something by being anon…but, for the sake of argument, I’m answering) right now I believe the right is guilty of attempting to make themselves the victims of racism- thus my comments. They have attempted to change the narrative on race, as of late, to portray themselves as having suffering terribly at the hands of reverse racism, which I find offensive considering our country’s history AND the history of people… Read more »
Amen. Ridiculous and scary. As a black man who has had to be conscious and aware of posture, attitude and imaged self perception in certain chance circumstanced situations i.e. walking along the wrong sides of the track during the wrong time I feel for Trayvon in a way thats really hard to explain. In 1989 I was on my way from Detroit (Oak Park actually but who knows where that is) to Lansing, MI. with a friend to catch the yearly event that is MSU/UM football game. Halfway there just kutside of Howell, MI which if I am not mistaken… Read more »
Our “car” died on us…..Stupid Smart Phone
according to you all racist problems stem from the right..funny the dem party was home to the KKK sen Byrd ring a bell?
Erin,
I want to point out that Britain has a long-running hoodie “problem” as well. The largely white youth over there are often called “hoodies” because of their chosen style of clothing which is often pointed to after crimes, vandalism, or soccer hooliganism is committed. But I’m not sure why the hoodie is now so important. Isn’t the argument that Trayvon Martin was pursued by Zimmerman because he was black – not because he was wearing a hoodie?
“Isn’t the argument that Trayvon Martin was pursued by Zimmerman because he was black – not because he was wearing a hoodie?” Not quite. The crux of the argument seems to be the police weren’t willing to do a thorough investigation because the kid was black—the self-defense claims were just taken at face value. This is a reasonable position to have. And let’s not forget one key fact of the Trayvon Martin case: it was raining outside when he was wearing the hoodie. The fact that the hoodies is even an object of conversation is really just folks casting about… Read more »
This has become a discussion of white on black racism. That’s great, but shouldn’t this also be a discussion of Hispanic on black racism, since the person who killed Trayvon was Hispanic? Just something to think about.
No, it should be a discussion of the racism and sexism that black males face. It is unlikely that a black girl walking down the street in a hoodie would have been shot or viewed as suspicious. Our society has a problem with recognizing black males as legitimate, full human beings. It goes far beyond prejudice, and sinks down to essentially thinking black males less human than anyone else, and therefore less deserving of basic decency.
This true and a very important point. I would hope that others are paying attention. Unfortunately, however, because it is true, this comment and my similar one are very likely to lone voices in the wind.
It’s absolutely messed up what happened. I am curious on something and don’t mean to offend by asking, but could gangster rap and other media add fuel to the fire of judgment? From what I see on American tv and movies we get here, hoodies and black males tend to be shown in a negative light where it is a real stereotype of a criminal, gangbanger, thug, etc. I get the feeling this doesn’t help since there doesn’t appear to be much diversity in how they’re shown in the media, another example would be people on my heritage-Sicilians. Put them… Read more »
I think pop culture does play a role in how people view black men and boys. Most of the images we see are negative, and since so much of the mainstream hip hop culture is wrapped in violent imagery, it is no surprise if people assume that the clothing seen in those films, shows, and videos is a symbol of that violence. However, black people are not the only people who dress like that. You can watch scores of white artists who dress in hoodies. Indeed, it is the look is the look of two generations (Gen X and Y).… Read more »
“I feel anger that some conservatives say they see no color, claim to operate on an even playing field, and refuse to even discuss racial implications in any debate for fear they will have to be honest with themselves, our history, and the glaringly obvious fact we have NOT come as far as we would like to think.”
– Democrats do it too, Erin.