Today, I am joined by Steve from the website, dadstartingover.com. Steve created this site to help divorced dads recover emotionally and professionally after suffering from very traumatic divorces. It is a noble calling — one that has already helped many men get back on their feet, receiving much gratitude and many plaudits.
The site is a resource for many divorced dads, explaining symptoms of infidelity, coping strategies and how to deal with a broken relationship. Steve kindly gave us the time today to discuss his mission and how his site is helping divorced dads all across the United States today.
Kallen: Thanks for taking the time to talk to me about your site, Dad Starting Over. It appears to be a huge collection of resources for those suffering from a rough divorce. How did you start it?
Steve: I started my website after enduring a horrible infidelity experience (and eventual divorce), which led me to a huge life turnaround and rapid self-improvement. I helped out a few guys who said that I should charge for my services. Simultaneously, I started writing again and was posting on forums, where a few folks suggested that I start a blog. I combined the concepts of a blog and “counseling” and came up with the site, Dad Starting Over.
Kallen: What happened to you exactly if you don’t mind?
Steve: About six years ago, I discovered that my wife, who was the mother of my three kids, had an affair. After discovering it, she immediately filed for divorce. That sent me down a spiral of depression, sparked a drive to better myself and come out of the situation better than ever. I worked hard to better myself physically, mentally and financially.
Along the way, I met many other men in real life and on the internet that went through the same thing. Our stories were all exactly alike.
Kallen: That is very sad to hear. I am really pleased that you turned it around. There are many self-help guides, books and podcasts out there, specifically regarding divorced parents. What sets you apart from these other self-help resources?
Steve: My writings and advice are very much “No BS” in nature. I tend to offend a good chunk of people who read my stuff. It’s not offensive for the sake of being offensive, but rather brutally honest and open. I just share what I have seen in my own experience and the literal thousands of experiences I have read or heard firsthand.
All of the stories are basically the same. All guys make the same mistakes again and again. I think it’s time that men turn things around.
Kallen: So, your approach is kind of “old school” and based on honesty rather than “skirting around the issues”. How popular has this approach proved to be?
Steve: The site is getting over five thousand visits a month. I also have around 4,000 followers on Facebook. The engagement from these visitors is excellent, which shows that they are gaining value from my website. I am very proud of how fast and large it has grown in only a few years.
Kallen: Where do you receive traffic from? Do you advertise at all?
Steve: I post my thoughts and links back to my site on several forums. I also have a Facebook page that is growing in popularity. That, in turn, generates traffic to my site, and sales of my book, The Dead Bedroom Fix. I also greatly improved the SEO of my site, thanks to a friendly reader who helped out a lot with some behind-the-scenes stuff. With a few adjustments, my organic search traffic improved dramatically.
Kallen: Do you have any plans for the future like growing this site even larger?
Steve: I plan on further growing my Facebook following and website audience. As long as I see consistent growth, I am happy. Growth will allow me to continue to sell more copies of my e-book, The Dead Bedroom Fix, which will generate consistent coaching clients along with other sales through my amazon affiliate links.
This would allow me to generate a legitimate second income and make things more comfortable for myself and my three kids. If the future allows me to drop my “real” job completely, that would be amazing.
Kallen: I really appreciate you taking the time to discuss this traumatic part of your life and explain your solution. If I could ask you for one piece of advice for newly divorced dads, what would it be?
Steve: Number one word of advice that most men ignore: Stay away from women for a while. Focus on you. Be selfish. You have A LOT of work to do on yourself. A lot of introspection. A lot of physical work. Mental work. It will be tough and suck at times. It is all necessary if you want to come out ahead and NOT fall on your face all over again.
If you jump right back into the dating pool, you WILL fail again and probably even worse than before. Women are just a distraction. They are just a bandage used to cover up a wound. The women aren’t going anywhere. Your aging life and its wisdom will have no detrimental effect on your ability to score women later in life. In fact, it will help you tremendously.
Kallen: I really enjoyed our chat today about your site, Dad Starting Over. It was really interesting and I can see how helpful this information can be to divorced dads suffering from a breakup like you did. Thanks for taking the time to talk with me.
Steve: It was a pleasure, Kallen. I hope some of your readers will check out the website to begin the healing process. You can learn more at dadstartingover.com and my e-book is The Dead Bedroom Fix.
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