I started reading The Hobbit to Zoey only a few days after she was born, something I always knew I would do with my child. When I was a child, I enjoyed the tale told by Tolkien and wanted to share it with her, whether she could understand any of it or not. This was more for me than for her, since at the time we weren’t sure how long she would live and I didn’t want to look back at a major regret in my life. News was good on her health, she was able to breathe, except for elevated white blood cell count she showed no signs of infection, and she was receiving breast milk only a few days after being born. Still, I needed to share this story in case there wasn’t another chance.
Preemies her age are sensitive to light, noise, and sudden physical stimulation. Don’t bump the isolette! She can still hear sounds and will pick up her parent’s voices much like she would in the womb. We were encouraged to read to Zoey, not for the tales, but to hear our voices. I started The Hobbit while Sarah read Charlette’s Web. Her oxygen levels would go up on the monitor and her pulse would steady as we did this. Later, we would notice her physical reaction to our voices such as her head moving in our direction or a hand going up in the air. There is nothing more entertaining than seeing that “Hi Dad” wave when you look through the plastic walls.
◊♦◊
When I started reading the Hobbit to her I quickly felt like I was reading a fairy tale version of her life. She is tiny, smaller than a dwarf. Currently she lives in a dark little cave described much like a hobbit hole, not smelly or dirty, instead filled with all the comforts she needs. When she least expects it, a large man will stop by and take her on an adventure, and she doesn’t like adventures. X-rays are taken, diapers are changed, suction tubes are used to clean her airway, and when she is doing really well she is able to come out and be held in the chair next to the isolette. Those are the adventures she enjoys the most.
At just over a pound in weight, Zoey was quick and strong for her size and had a habit of removing her heart monitor or kicking off her pulse/ oxygen sensor. I laughed when the nurse told me her nickname and I was referring to her as Smaug to Zoey after that. She had already met her dragon. |
Just before reading the part of the book where we meet Smaug, a nurse worked with her that called herself “Dragon Lady.” The nurse thought it was funny how much Zoey would fight with her while taking vitals or changing her diaper. At just over a pound in weight, Zoey was quick and strong for her size and had a habit of removing her heart monitor or kicking off her pulse/ oxygen sensor. I laughed when the nurse told me her nickname and I was referring to her as Smaug to Zoey after that. She had already met her dragon.
Zoey’s life changed along with the book. When Bilbo and the dwarves were in trouble, she appeared to be having a rough time herself. When they were comfortable and out of danger she was moving on to her next treatment plan. I was almost scared to read the part of the book with Smaug. While I am not a superstitious man, I saw these correlations and worried what might happen next. Zoey’s infection was finally found from a culture that had to be sent out of the hospital. The doctors had been concerned about her heart murmur, a common part of preemie anatomy called a PDA, thinking this was giving her the bulk of the trouble she was having, but her real dragon ended up being a bacteria they had not treated yet. Like Smaug in The Hobbit, her troubles were solved in an anti-climactic way and Zoey was left to working on gaining weight and moving towards a healthy life.
There is still the battle of the five armies to read about and Zoey still has many of her own battles to fight. Yesterday the doctor made a comment that we still had 12 weeks with her in the hospital, a rough estimate, and I imagined her long journey home. That portion of the book was fast and to my guess a boring tale that Tolkien decided to skip over. I hope that Zoey’s journey will resemble that, but it is not to be expected.
We haven’t finished The Hobbit yet and I am excited to see if she writes her own version of There and Back Again, being the hero of her own story. I don’t know what little Precious she is hiding in that Isolette from us, but I look forward to finding out in the years to come. In the meantime, her personal Gandalf will continue to sit next her, reading tales and taking her on adventures until she is able to return home to the Shire.
__
So beautiful, Matthew! How awesome that there is such a connection between everything. Much love to you 3 <3
Beautifully written, I’m looking forward to your next article.