Whispering From The Heart
Somehow I squeezed an hour workout into an hour and a half lunch break. The hotel gym was virtually empty.
I brought my afternoon clothes with me because I knew I would not have time to go back to my hotel room, then return to the conference center to make my 1:30 meeting. I changed quickly in a bathroom stall, then dashed to the conference center. Late to the meeting room, I took my seat, gobbling a bag of beef jerky, then realized I had left my cell phone and water bottle at the gym.
The table facilitator asked for my input. I did what I’ve done countless times: the razzle-dazzle. It sounded good. It fit the discussion. And now, I was running again back to the gym to collect my things. Thank goodness they were there.
Back in the conference room, it was time to perform again. More razzle-dazzle.
But what was supposed to be formal training evolved into chatting in pairs.
It was great.
But what I noticed; rather, what I’ve been noticing, is that we’re all acting. And not just at work conferences. We’re all putting up appearances when in big groups and social settings. The same is true with social media and virtually any form of media.
This isn’t new news. I didn’t just discover a new planet. But what I keep discovering is the desire and need to be our true selves while constrained by societal norms. Feels like the real real happens when the door is closed. When it’s the one-on-one. And I’m not talking about sexual relations. I’m talking about people sharing their truths, whispering from their heart, giving when no one else is watching.
That seems to be the therapy people need these days: more opportunities to let out their secrets and worries and anxieties in tiny settings. Two, maybe three people. That is when we can be ourselves. That is when the veil drops.
Again, nothing new, but imagine a world where there was no act. A place where there was no need to hold up appearances for the sake of holding up appearances. It begs the question: why do we hold up appearances in the first place? What and who do they serve?
There is hope. More and more, people are diving into vulnerability. We’re taking risks in bigger groups. We’re oversharing, but in meaningful ways. It’s starting to feel like those one-on-one’s are getting wider. The circle of trust is expanding.
As we allow ourselves to be more of who we are with more people, we give up the act. The schtick becomes just that: something to smile or laugh at. We drop the razzle-dazzle. Our authenticities become more authentic, and our intentions feel more intentional. As the masks come down, our hearts shine brighter.
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Photo by @ramu_aladdin on Unsplash
