Children learn by watching and copying their parents. Even when you think they don’t notice, they see all and want to emulate it. This underscores the importance of fathers setting the best example for their sons on how to behave and conduct themselves as men.
For the longest time, researchers, psychologists and other childhood experts thought that the mother-child bond was the most crucial one in a child’s life. However, recent studies reveal that fathers play an equally (and sometimes more) important role in a kid’s development by greatly influencing their personal and social growth. A father’s parenting style has been found to affect children just as much as their mother’s does.
Fathers Matter
Thanks to recent studies, we’re now more aware of how our roles as fathers shape our children’s lives. For starters, rejection by parents drives kids to become more hostile, aggressive and contributes to emotional instability. If children face trauma and parental neglect from a young age, they are more likely to develop low self-esteem, have feelings of inadequacy as well as have a negative outlook on life.
Teen boys especially already face a host of risk factors including depression, drug and alcohol abuse, and require more guidance from their fathers during adolescence. Lack of a father figure could lead to behavior problems such as delinquency, defiance, substance abuse and other psychological issues.
Conversely, teen boys who grow up secure in their father’s love are seen to have a better sense of well-being and higher levels of happiness and life satisfaction than those who don’t.
Being a Good Role Model for Your Son
In the wake of the #MeToo movement, it’s imperative that we fathers take a look at how we’re raising our sons. Regardless of what we think, our sons instinctively mimic us from a young age. We can talk to them, give endless advice and even yell but ultimately, they look to us for clues on how to behave.
We, therefore, need to model appropriate behavior for them to emulate especially when it comes to things like working hard, communicating effectively with others, how to treat women and most importantly, how to act when angry or stressed.
We can’t spend time yelling at our spouses, insulting people, denigrating women and slacking off then turn around and punish our sons for doing the same things. If we want our sons to be better, we have to do better.
We have to do our best to counter all the messages they receive from society about toxic masculinity and the best way to do that is to model appropriate alternative behavior. If you want your son to treat women well, let him see you being respectful towards women. If you want him to learn to have good social and conversation skills, talk to him, engage him in productive discussions and debates.
We may not have all the answers to what ails our society but we can make a decision to start changing things for the better. One of the most effective ways we can do that is watching what we say and do around our sons and striving to be the best role models we can be.
—
This post is republished on Medium.
***
What’s Next? Talk with others. Take action.
We are proud of our SOCIAL INTEREST GROUPS—WEEKLY PHONE CALLS to discuss, gain insights, build communities— and help solve some of the most difficult challenges the world has today. Calls are for Members Only (although you can join the first call for free). Not yet a member of The Good Men Project? Join below!
RSVP for Intersectionality Calls
—
Join the Conscious Intersectionality FACEBOOK GROUP here. Includes our new call series on Human Rights.
Join The Good Men Project Community
All levels get to view The Good Men Project site AD-FREE. The $50 Platinum Level is an ALL-ACCESS PASS—join as many groups and classes as you want for the entire year. The $25 Gold Level gives you access to any ONE Social Interest Group and ONE Class–and other benefits listed below the form. Or…for $12, join as a Bronze Member and support our mission, and have a great ad-free viewing experience.
Register New Account
Please note: If you are already a writer/contributor at The Good Men Project, log in here before registering. (Request new password if needed).
◊♦◊
ANNUAL PLATINUM membership ($50 per year) includes:
1. AN ALL ACCESS PASS — Join ANY and ALL of our weekly calls, Social Interest Groups, classes, workshops and private Facebook groups. We have at least one group phone call or online class every day of the week.
2. See the website with no ads when logged in!
3. MEMBER commenting badge.
***
ANNUAL GOLD membership ($25 per year) includes all the benefits above — but only ONE Weekly Social Interest Group and ONE class.
***
ANNUAL BRONZE membership ($12 per year) is great if you are not ready to join the full conversation but want to support our mission anyway. You’ll still get a BRONZE commenting badge, and you can pop into any of our weekly Friday Calls with the Publisher when you have time. This is for people who believe—like we do—that this conversation about men and changing roles and goodness in the 21st century is one of the most important conversations you can have today.
♦◊♦
We have pioneered the largest worldwide conversation about what it means to be a good man in the 21st century. Your support of our work is inspiring and invaluable.
—