A Parent Sanity Announcement (PSA) in COVID-19
For my family in the time of COVID-19, the pre-supper walk is crucial for burning the children’s energy and maintaining their parents’ sanity. So, I thrust sandals at my seven-year-old son with one of my Dad looks. You know the one—Hurryup. His younger siblings had burst through the door and threatened to spill from the porch into the street.
Instead, my firstborn reached for his Nikes and spoke slowly, “I want to wear shoes that involve socks.”
Shoes that involve socks. This stopped me right in my Chacos. I mean, how wonderful is that phrase?
Now, I’m sure I could draw a moral lesson from this experience. Something like slow down or listen up. But Kate Bowler, religious professor at Duke Divinity, recently said about these times we are living, “The trick is to find meaning without being taught a lesson.”
During this global pandemic, we must shelter in place. If you are a caregiver for young children, the days are long, repetitive, and stressful. It’s hard. Yes, it could be worse. Yes, healthcare workers are saving lives. But don’t wrap up my experience with a cliché or give me a pat on the head. Don’t tell me I should enjoy every minute. You might mean well, but that kind of moralizing is actually going to make me feel worse because it adds an element of shame.
We, as the body politic, must exercise our collective will to practice physical distancing. Many parents, however, do not have enough social distance from their children! Speaking for my wife, it seems like we might lose our minds from being in the same place with the same little people every day.
So, an important Parent Sanity Announcement (PSA): instead of the moral lesson, look for the poetic moment. Robert Frost claimed a poem was “a momentary stay against confusion.” At the height of this COVID-19 outbreak, that is meaningful.
While I watched, my firstborn joined his siblings in the afternoon sunshine. His shoes that involve socks slapped the sidewalk. True enough, he would later slap his little brother. His mom and I would struggle to keep the peace through dinner before finally coasting the downhill routine from bath to books to bed. Now the kids are asleep and just before I do the same, I’m still remembering that wonderful turn of phrase. Shoes that involve socks! I smile and turn off my computer.
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