We are creating the change we want to see with how dads and men are portrayed in the media.
—
Several years ago, back before The Good Men Project was what it is today — before it was a website, before it was even a published book, or film, or series of events, or an international conversation about what it means to be a good man in the 21st century — Tom Matlack and I were sitting in his office, talking about men. “The way men are portrayed in the media is not good,” Tom said passionately. “It’s either buffoons, or adulterers or cheaters or villains…look at Madison Ave. When was the last time you saw a man in a television commercial portrayed as a smart, capable dad?” We weren’t the first to have that conversation, of course, and we won’t be the last. Flash forward to today’s New York Times, where there is an article titled “Fathers Seek Advertising That Does Not Ridicule.” The article talks about Dad 2.0, a 3-day conference of over 200 bloggers and media professionals along with 44 brands and advertisers. The same conversation is happening, but it is bigger in scope, involving more men, dads, people, advertisers and media than we could have ever imagined.
♦◊♦
I was at Dad 2.0, representing The Good Men Project as one of the Keynote Speakers there, on a panel where I talked about creating content, building a media company and how content gets distributed out across the web. Looking out across the sea of faces from my perch on the stage, I joked about how I knew most of the people in the room only by their Avatars. How nice to see they were real people — multidimensional, complex, passionate, guys who cared about their kids and talked about their lives. Men who opened up, with the truths as they knew them to be. Living, breathing, caring humans – not the one-dimensional stereotypes that so often get shown in the media. Not a single person there was the bumbling, incompetent dad you see in the media. That does not mean they did not have questions and concerns about their role as fathers or how to be better parents. But the guys I ran into at Dad 2.0 are not just talking about how dads roles are changing, but actually living it, by being great dads. Men were not only exchanging pictures of their kids, as the article points out, they were sharing heartfelt war stories, looking for advice, calling and texting their kids back home. Every time I heard another side of the story about how the dads were talking about parenting, I was struck by how the conversation about dads felt as important as any conversation I’ve ever had.
♦◊♦
I was also struck with a sense of “My, how we’ve grown.” Many of the dads mentioned in The New York Times article are dads we have worked with over the years – Charlie Capen, Doug French, Chris Routely. Many more were at the conference and have helped us talk and blog about the conversation through the years we’ve been at it — Jim Higley, Al Watts, Jason Avant, Lance Somerfeld, Kenny Bodanis, Jason Greene, Chris Read, RJ Jaramillo, Whit Honea, Carter Gaddis, Andy Hinds, Jeff Bogle many, many others. At last years conference, we were there for the conversation about Huggies – we connected our most outraged bloggers directly with both the PR company and the client at last years Dad 2.0, and later worked with Edelman in putting together a roundtable of dads a few weeks later. This year, I had the pleasure of talking with the brands directly this year. The brands who want to be a part of the conversation about Dads are all those we see as true partners – Dove for Men + Care, who we’ve been working with for years, Huggies, Clorox, Toyota – with new potential partnerships with brands like Honda, ConAgra Foods, Turtle Wax and Maclaren Strollers. We believe in the brands who are committed to telling the story about how dads – and men – are evolving in true, authentic ways. And that, in turn, gives us a chance to tell the brand’s stories in new and creative ways as well.
♦◊♦
The New York Times article quoted Rob Candelino, vice president for marketing at Unilever, who focuses on the Dove Men + Care product line. Mr. Candelino described the Dove Men + Care target customer as “a father, or an expectant one, who is in his late 30s and married, cares deeply about his role as a father and mentor, and is as comfortable having a tea party with his daughter as he is having beers with his friends.” And in a post we ran called “This is What Real Fatherhood Looks Like”, we couldn’t agree more:
—
Photos Credits: (Main Image) Dad 2.0 Facebook page, (tea party) Chris and Sammie in “This is What Real Fatherhood Looks Like.”
I have belonged to search groups searching for misplaced dads like Linda Burton has mentioned above.I at one time searched for a Daughter in Germany myself and found her. It took many years of quite a bit of hand written letters in the old days and thousands of hrs in modern times. Not all dads are runners. Some from the military do not know they are dads. I still assist others in searching for dads. I freelance at the moment but I can lead people to various search sites that search for dads. [email protected] . marv USA
My husband is so fed up with the men-as-household-idiot portrayals in TV ads. A few weeks ago we saw an ad (I think it was for laundry detergent) with a Dad as the spokesperson. He was folding laundry and was interrupted by his young daughter asking to play and he said, “sure, honey, when we’re done with this” and then returned to talking about the product. No buffoonery. No second-fiddle to a Mom. Just a Dad folding laundry. At the end of the ad my husband and I looked at each other in amazement and both said, “That’s a first!”
Thanks for sharing! I’m new to the SAHD thing and glad I have been able to find support with such a great group of dads online. Keep up the good work!
Great viewpoint, Lisa. It’s amazing the momentum this little tribe has generated over the last year. I’m so proud to be a part of it.
I WILL NOT WATCH CERTAIN TV SHOWS OR BY CERTAIN PRODUCT BECAUSE OF THE WAY THEY PORTRAY MEN/FATHERS, I RAISED A SON ALL BY MY BIG BOY SELF AND HE IS QUITE THE YOUNG MAN AND I ALONG WITH HIS MOTHER WHO SAW THAT BEING RAISED BY HIS FATHER WAS BENEFICIAL TO HIM IN BEING A MAN NOT A MAMA’S BOY HAVE RECIEVED MANY COMPLEMENTS ABOUT WHAT AN OUTSTANDING YOUNG MAN HE IS AND SOME DAY WILL BE A BETTER DAD THAN ME.
I hope you give yourself a lot of credit for being the dad you are. If your son is a better dad than you, it will be because you bestowed that gift to him.
It is great to see the word is getting out and perceptions are changing among the public which is driving the marketing as well. I hope to be able to make Dad 2.0 next year and putting some faces to some of these avatars as well!
Yes — that is what excites me most — the actual change we are creating. Let’s not wait another year to connect again!
Hey Lisa,
Truer words were never typed! We are all a part of a wonderful movement – a movement that is moving faster than we think! I look forward to connecting more with you and doing my little part here in Canada to help promote what REAL dads look and act like!
Cheers,
Jeff
It is really amazing, isn’t it? It’s exciting to be a part of something bigger than yourself. Please feel free to submit — email me at [email protected] and I will get you set up.
Thank you for this, Lisa! I wish we’d had longer to connect at Dad 2.0, but I look forward to many conversations to come. 🙂
Yes, that was a whirlwind! I got to talk with you slightly longer than Carter Gaddis, who introduced himself between the 2nd and 4th floor on the elevator. At least you and I were sitting when we chatted. Hope to have you be a contributor, Chris, and yes, let’s certainly keep the conversation going.
Definitely planning on getting on board as a contributor soon. 🙂
This is a great post. It seems like people are really starting to see things from our point of view now. Not all dads are work centered or totally clueless around their kids. Thank you for posting this and remember in May is National Daddy Daughter Tea Date, even though it can be celebrated any day.
Thanks Victor. Write a blog post about National Daddy Daughter Tea Date day and send it to me! My email is [email protected]. Thanks for stopping by to comment.
We appreciate the mention! Even though I know what “real fatherhood” looks like and the most important person that ever needs know this message is my 4 year-old,…it’s wonderful to see pieces like this in the mainstream media recognize and echo what so many of us (including the moms/partners that love us)- dads can be a nurturing, competent, and capable partner in the parenting equation.
Thanks Lance,
Obviously I agree. It’s sad that we have to define what “Real Fatherhood” looks like, but it’s certainly not the guy in the 3-piece suit holding the baby at arms length. It’s guys who are committed to being some of the most amazing parents I’ve ever seen.
Thrilled to have connected with you and NYC Dads in the early days and having our paths keep crossing on this great journey.
Below is a list of Dads names that we are searching for, from ww2 to date, We have been searching for our Fathers in hopes we will one day get to know who he was and what he looked like…….A to Z list of who we are searching for: ALTON (First name unknown) was based in Bruntingthorpe, Leicestershire around 1945 Arlington (surname unknown) stationed in or around the Norwich, Norfolk area 1943 BOROWSKI. Henry married in Preston 8th April 1944 was in Company F, 405th Infantry Regiment BROOKS, Thomas E was in or around Bad Aibling Bavaria. BURGER, Derl based… Read more »