The common understanding for “Parenting without gender” is nurturing neutral gender kids. Yes? Nope! That’s the biggest misunderstanding of the grown-ups. Parenting without gender means nurturing our kids gender unbiased.
Another misconception about “Parenting without gender” is dressing up boys in girl’s clothes and vice versa. Well, clothes are to hide skin; designing them in saree or jeans is creativity. In pre-historic times, I suppose there were no jeans or skirts, yet boys grew into men and girls grew into women. Gender is a biological aspect and God has designed that well; if colors were to be associated with gender, then boys would have born blue and girls pink. Colors and toys or all such attributes are a mere manifestation of the human mind—a trend started by an anonymous group and followed without logic.
They say Blue is for boys and pink is for girls. I wanna ask, who are “They” to associate gender with color? Let kids grow free-minded. We grown-ups commit the blunder of trying to mold our kids in our ignorance.
As the mom of a daughter who I want to be angelic, I must not clip her feathers on the basis of apparent gender concerns. The animal world has no color code associated with gender; see how free-willed they are. Why deny our children an entire world of colors?
I’m an unconventional mom and I take pride in it. I have seen conventions fail many times. I believe kids should be given the freedom to make choices and a child’s instinct never goes wrong. Why confine them in meaningless Dos and Dont’s? We can set a range of limitations such that they are flexible to make a decision but that should not be based on colors or clothes.The true essence of “parenting without gender” is to instil good values in our kids and not to devalue any gender.
The irony is that many think that the liberals, who advocate Gender-Neutral Parenting, are trying to liberate boys from boyhood. They forget to visualize that by discriminating, we trap them beneath certain Dos and Don’ts, which bear no logic. Even studies support the liberal opinion. Research says that children raised with gender neutrality, while being taught about gender, are more creative owing to their freedom of choice and expression.
Why can’t a girl climb the window grill and why can’t a boy play with a Barbie? Does choice of toys, games and colors really make a kid a boy or a girl? Isn’t it just hormonal?
My 3 year old daughter plays both with Barbie and a toy engine. Sometimes, if I can’t find her anywhere on the floor at home, I only have to look up at the windows, which she climbs with ease and awaits me on. I don’t go by perceptions; my example is at home. I am questioned by many of my relatives and friends, but I ask them “if a girl can be an astronaut and a man can be a chef, why do we confine our kids in some world of illusion?”
I often wonder if trousers don’t make men out of women, how can skirts make women out of men? Let me cite an example:
CHITON, a simple tunic garment that was worn by both genders in ancient Greece. The Greeks are historically associated with having the greatest and finest warriors of the time. This tells you that a dress doesn’t have anything to do with masculinity or feminity—hormones do. I was not surprised to find that in the 4th century, women in the western world wore pants, which were adapted from the Persians. Contrary to present belief, pants were considered unmanly then. Breeches came into fashion in Europe only during the middle ages.
I strongly believe conventions that camouflage logic needs to be transcended.
So the next time someone questions liberal parents for their choice and approach, please share some historical facts and enlighten the ignorant. And also ask them to refer this space at The Good Men Project.