One thing I noticed while growing up was that people who’ve had it easy move through life with a calmness that’s not common to others.
When the majority of people worry about inflation, income inequality, home ownership, and affordability of medical insurance, these people seem far removed from all that.
Usually, it’s because they have very few worries, or the things they worry about have no life-changing effects.
I remember my days at Emirates. Whenever I got my roster, I’d sit for hours, swapping short flights for long ones to increase my flying hours.
Clocking more hours meant more moolah in my wallet.
Meanwhile, my buddy Mary did the opposite — she would cut back her flights or call in sick because she didn’t care about hours or anything like that.
To everyone else, a job means survival and a way to take care of themselves and their family.
But if you’ve had an easy life, a job isn’t something you have to do because you don’t have the concerns many people have.
It’s something that keeps you busy, and you can choose not to be tethered to it.
If there’s one low-key sign that says, “I’ve had an easy life,” it’s how some people cruise through life calmly.
But that’s just one. Below are many more.
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They wear tailored clothing and never borrow anyone’s outfit.
I’ve always been a fashion fanatic. I’m obsessed with great outfits and elegant fabrics.
And that was how Isabel in college piqued my attention with her fitted outfits.
Isabel wasn’t into labels or designer clothes, but everything she wore looked fab.
She said her mom had a tailor who made her outfits from scratch or nipped and tucked them to accentuate her figure perfectly.
I couldn’t help myself, so I scratched my incessant itch and went full-on about her clothes.
She told me,
“My mother passed on the idea that clothes needed to be worn well because they aren’t something you throw on yourself. They make statements about you. They determine the level of respect people show you. Having a tailor who can dress your body accordingly is vital because clothes are so much more than “clothes.”
It’s not uncommon for college students to borrow each other’s a dress or tie for special events. But people who’ve had an easy life never borrow anything.
If they want a tie or a gown, no matter if it’s for one event, they’ll buy it.
Oh, and if you borrow their outfit, they let you have it for life, no matter its cost.
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They naturally dine at high-end restaurants and shop from luxurious boutiques.
My friends would make frivolous purchases and dine at fancy restaurants because saving money was never a thing they considered.
Actually, half the time, it felt like they were throwing money around.
What was interesting, though, was that they didn’t shop luxuriously to show off or because they preferred expensive and nice things. It just flowed naturally. It was their way of life.
As someone who has struggled with money for most of my life, I can confidently tell you that just getting one foot through the door of a Louis Vuitton store — even to browse is hard.
You feel off and out of place. You even start to think the sales associates don’t want you there because they know you can’t afford a thing.
But the truth is that all this is an internal job. And it speaks to the relationship your mind has with money.
When your mind is conditioned to financial scarcity, some places are out of bounds.
Not so with someone who has had an easy life. They have such a big disconnect for the value of money that no places are out of reach.
I’d even wager that most were unaware of how hard it is to make money.
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They engage in unique sporting activities that most people don’t.
There’s a kind of sport that just screams, “Hey, I’m different.”
I’m talking about riding horses, golfing, sailing, or polo.
Most people play soccer, netball, or basketball because they’re pretty straightforward.
Got a good ball and a few people? You’re good to go. After the session, you high-five each other and call it a game. Until next time.
For those who haven’t had to hustle in life, sporting is more than sweating and having a good time. These unique games mean business to them.
This is why most sporting premises are controlled by clubs that require you to pay top dollar in membership fees.
This is how they mingle with business prospects and people of their class. It’s how they network and discuss business ventures.
That’s why you don’t see them playing normal games like soccer. And even when they do, they usually have another unique sport on the side.
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Photo by Dipesh Gurav on Unsplash
They’ve not only tried all sorts of cuisines. But they’re also widely exposed.
In adulthood, most people tend to stick to the same types of foods they grew up eating.
They don’t experiment with other cuisines because they have a weird connotation with food diversity. And also because they lack exposure.
But those who’ve had a soft life have plenty of exposure to many things, even down to the culinary aspect.
Mention any cuisine, and they’ve probably tried it because they hail from families that are culturally exposed and open-minded. Also, these kinds of people eat high-quality food regularly. No food is off-limits or set aside for special events.
Oh, did I mention they travel a lot?
And in travel, you see things you’d not normally see within your hood. You try out different foods and speak to different people. Exposure gives you a first-class ticket to experiences most people will never get to have.
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They’re never anxious, nor do they take life seriously.
No matter the age, people who’ve had an easy life behave in the same manner as wealthy retirees.
I live in a neighborhood with such retirees, and one clear distinction is that they are never anxious about anything. Not once have I seen any of them angry.
What makes these two types similar is the fact that they don’t have a lot hanging over their heads.
The retirees have sorted out everything they need to have an easy life, and the other group has had people set things in order for them.
This ease also translates into their conversations. When you talk about job security, they talk about holidays and shopping.
A few of these friends never had to make a call to ask for an internship opportunity because someone in their family knew someone powerful in a big corporation.
With some of my friends, it got to a point where I could no longer speak about serious life concerns either because they could not relate or weren’t interested.
Usually, it’s because they’ve been cushioned all their lives. They’ve had everything aligned for them from the start. All they had to do was step in.
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Photo by Rebecca Chandler on Unsplash
Most people who’ve had an easy life still adhere to notions of politeness that the majority don’t.
They seem to have different ways of doing things. For example, they send handwritten notes to dinner or Christmas invitations.
They always send a thank-you note when you invite them to an event or buy them a birthday gift.
I also noticed that they stick to old-school traditions like passing down family heirlooms.
They attach meaning to things most people wouldn’t because they’ve been conditioned that way. Like, that grandmother’s ring that means so much to them they’d kill you if you lost it.
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They have total comfort around domestic servants.
I noticed that my friends treated their helpers as if they were a part of the family. They opened up to them about deeply personal matters without batting an eyelid.
If you watch anyone who has had an easy life, you’ll notice that their relaxed demeanor isn’t reserved for their friends and family; it extends to their domestic helpers as well.
I’m not sure whether this acceptance is what keeps the helpers in those homes for so long — some stay for up to twenty years — but it says something about these people.
They possess a level of warmth and openness that is rare.
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They lead very low-key lifestyles.
Aside from people who prefer tailored clothing, you also see some who have very low-key lifestyles, and you’d never know that they’re very different from everybody else.
They might live in a very posh neighborhood, but they don’t make a big deal about how they live.
For them, it’s just where they live — as normal a home as anywhere else.
They might work fairly common jobs but have things and lifestyles that are definitely beyond the means of their colleagues.
They are also generous to their friends in a very casual way.
To be clear, they don’t give away stuff in a carefree manner, but they’re more likely to give gifts, pay the cab fare or rescue someone in a tight spot.
And they do this with zero expectations for reciprocation.
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They grow up ready to take up space in the world.
Aside from cruising through life nonchalantly, most people who haven’t had to hustle are pretty confident.
They talk to anyone in a fairly relaxed manner and behave in ways that signal self-assuredness.
This stems from growing up around people who took the time to understand them and what they cared about.
For example, most of them attended private schools. Meaning they had the devoted attention of their teachers, they had available resources, and their school projects were taken seriously, unlike those in public schools.
When a child is primed with this level of attention, a solid sense of assurance rises and becomes enmeshed in their psyche, which then translates into confidence.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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