
Many people have crushes they shouldn’t have, whether it’s a coworker who knows it’d be inappropriate to ask you out or your best friend’s brother, for whom you’ve always had a secret crush. Moving forward with these crushes and taking a gamble is sometimes worthwhile. Other times, it’s simply too dangerous because there’s so much on the line if things go horribly wrong.
Here are some signs that he might be fighting his feelings for you, too, if you like a guy who should probably be off-limits.
1. He makes an excuse to talk to you every day.
It’s never a big deal. He mostly asks about your day and whether or not you have any plans for the weekend. He’s attempting to learn a little more about you while maintaining his easygoing attitude. He’s probably expecting you’ll invite him out for coffee or to see a movie with you. You, on the other hand, will be the one who must ask.
2. If you do hang out, he might bring friends along.
He’ll talk to you the entire time, but he’ll be backed up by his friends. It’s evident he has a thing for you if he doesn’t connect with them at all. However, if someone sees the group of you out, he can pretend it wasn’t a date. Guys who are fighting feelings still want to get out with you, but they will almost certainly regret it later when their crush grows stronger.
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3. If he dates someone else, he downplays it in front of you.
He’s dating someone else in an attempt to move on and fight his feelings, but there doesn’t appear to be any connection there. If you ask about her, he is evasive with information. When you ask him to invite her along on a group outing, he quickly responds that she is too busy or that she isn’t interested. Even if interacting with her isn’t difficult for you, having the two of you in the same room could be difficult for him.
4. Other people have noticed your chemistry.
You may believe you’ve fooled everyone else by keeping your flirtations hidden, but the rest of the world can clearly see you have a connection. It’s probable that you’ve been compared to Jim and Pam from The Office if you work together. That could be one of the reasons why you’ve recently been drawn to replays of the first few seasons.
5. He doesn’t have nice things to say about the guy you’re currently with.
He may make light of him in a playful way, but he doesn’t have anything genuine to say about him. In fact, he might have informed you that you were capable of doing better. That’s because he knows you deserve someone amazing if he can’t be with you. It’s almost like a stab through his heart to watch you date a guy who isn’t compatible with you.
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6. The two of you have a lot of private jokes together.
Private jokes are even more treasured as you become older. It indicates that you’re creating memories together and share a similar sense of humour. These are two extremely crucial qualities to look for in a life partner, thus turning this flirting friendship into a romance can be easier than you think.
7. If it’s a coworker, he’s told you he’s looking for another job.
It’s not because he’s dissatisfied. It’s because he realizes he needs to make a move to either get over you or make dating you less of a hassle. He’ll ask for your thoughts on the subject, and don’t be shocked if your remarks influence his final decision.
8. There’ve been periods of time where he’s been a little cold towards you.
Even though it’s difficult, don’t take it personally. That’s just him attempting to move on from you and regain control of his emotions. Running hot and cold is a telltale sign that this guy is fighting his emotions on the inside.
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9. He’s been using the “you’re like a sister to me” line more and more.
He’s fighting feelings if you haven’t made any moves on him but you’ve noticed he’s really reinforcing your relationship. He’s trying to talk himself out of liking you by stating these things out loud. He might not even be aware of how much he’s saying or how suspicious he appears. It’s just his mind at work, attempting to rewrite his feelings toward you.
10. He constantly talks about how things “could have been.”
Another reason to keep your distance is if this person is the ex-boyfriend of a close friend of yours. It’s easy to feel like you’re betraying her by asking him out, even if the two of them only dated for a short time. This is something he is well aware of. He’s probably glad the connection led him to meet you, but he’s disappointed because you two would have made a better match. He’s casually trying to figure out if you’d be prepared to take a chance — and potentially risk a friendship — by saying that.
It’s entirely up to you whether you want to date a guy who has been fighting feelings for you. It could be a perfect match, but it could also alienate people or put your position in jeopardy. Only the two of you can balance the benefits and drawbacks. Just keep in mind that if the feelings are reciprocated, you may always wonder what might have been if you hadn’t taken the risk.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: iStockPhoto.com
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