10 Small Ways to Make Relationships More Meaningful

“As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.” — John Green

I’m 43 and have never been married, but I’ve learned much about myself through long-term relationships. While I learn to love slowly, I write, learn, journal, read, ponder, and remember that no relationship is static.

Every couple is still growing.

I’m still growing; this is no race, and there isn’t a destination.

Humans are capable of so much evolution. Adaptation. We’re constantly changing, and relationships challenge you to see sides of yourself you didn’t know existed.

Can I give and receive love meaningfully, interact admirably and intentionally, take time, be present, and still handle my responsibilities?

Relationships show us who we are becoming if we take time to wonder and ponder about our direction. They shine a light on our sensitivities, attachment styles, weaknesses, and blind spots.

The struggle isn’t a bad thing; it’s actually how we grow into more meaningful relationships.

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10 Small Ways to Make Relationships More Meaningful

Listen to your partner. Like, really listen. If you are fighting or arguing, try to compromise and find the middle ground. Know that most successful relationships have a 5:1 positive-to-negative interaction ratio. If your ratio is off, you’ll have to find a way to correct it.
Do one quality act of selflessness daily to make your partner feel more connected to you. Mine? I walk with my partner halfway to her workplace, clean the house, work out with her, or sit down for a long dinner or coffee. What is yours?
Communicate your negative and positive emotions — why you’re feeling stressed, what went well at work, or why you feel emotionally busted from the weekend of booze and social gatherings.
Have fun. Relationships take effort, but it shouldn’t be pulling molars to do the work. Alternatively, you could be single and enjoy making love work. It’s always a choice.
I value my freedom, travel, and autonomy, but I’m learning to cultivate my values and relationship inside monogamy’s routine.
Connect better for short periods by putting away your phone and computer. Sit together. Practice eye contact. Touch. I tend to shy away from emotional intimacy more than I should, yet I know thriving love happens when you stay present.
Take constructive (or negative) feedback in stride. Don’t get down on yourself if you have some work to do. Say, “I can do better,” and follow through. We all love differently, which means learning how to love differently takes time to figure each other out.
Be authentic. Beauty hides in the nooks and crannies of our souls. Love lives and breathes in the cracks and crevices of our minds. Our only job is to be authentic and help find these little spaces in each other.
Build a life resume of special memories, not just work resumes. Build the ritual of shutting down your work mindset and leaving it behind simultaneously every day.
Breathe. Let go. Every challenging moment shall eventually pass.