My partner and I are celebrating our 7th anniversary today.
While I’d say it’s totally worth the long ride — damn, that’s also a lot of work.
But again, that’s just how it is. Being in a relationship doesn’t always have to be easy all the time. In fact, if you still put in the work, the bond and connection will fade away in no time.
When people ask me how I keep the connection strong and the relationship healthier every year, here are the things that we constantly do.
1. Solve the problem as soon as possible after an argument
I know most of you are probably sick with this one quote that says, “don’t go to bed angry,” but it’s still one of the truest pieces of relationship advice out there.
No one likes that feeling of having to cry to sleep and leaving the problem unsolved. It doesn’t matter how complicated the problem is, you should talk it out before the day ends.
My partner and I are definitely still working hard on this but what we notice so far after improving this section is that we have become closer than ever.
We argue, we talk about it ,we forgive, and we move on within the same day. Tomorrow is a new day.
2. Do physical activities together
When we’re bored with exploring parks around the city, we will come up with something new. Last week we played tennis, and this week we’ll play badminton — all this to replace our old routine of walking down the park every evening.
Depending on your schedules, you can always pick any new activities together, especially on the weekends. I still highly recommend physical activities rather than just binge-watching Netflix inside the house.
It’s because you get two in one — get in shape and reconnect with your partner emotionally at the same time.
3. Try out new recipes
Unless you’re a hard-core minimalist who eats the same meal all week, this is a good time to actually try out new recipes and maybe do a cooking activity together.
We came to learn about this new food delivery called Hello Fresh last month.
It’s been working great for both of us because not only it’s affordable, but the new recipes that we try out a couple of times a week have resulted in us spending more time together in the kitchen.
Sounds like an insignificant idea but it still adds up to make the connection stronger.
4. Explore new parks after work hours
We’d grab a pamphlet on the library and go through each park one by one. That’s what we’ve been doing since we lived together again.
The activity itself has brought us closer because we have so much time talking about different things during our walk, from exchanging ideas to just rambling over silly things.
So if you haven’t tried it already, go grab a map in your library nearby and make it a mission together with your partner to finish visiting all those parks.
5. Spice things up in bed
Your sex life should never go old.
Sure, you both might age and have less desire to put in the work, but it’s been proven if your sex life is good, everything else will follow.
You can’t just depend on the emotional connection only. So do whatever you can to come up with something new once in a while.
It doesn’t have to be something big, it can be as small as getting a new “hot costume” for a Friday night can improve your overall relationship so much.
At the end of the day, it’s the constant efforts that keep the relationship together.
6. A small surprise once in a while never hurt
My partner likes to get me my favorite Tim’s drink out of nowhere, and although it’s something small, I’d feel so much love coming in every time that happens.
Those who aren’t in a committed relationship yet think that it’ll take big things to keep it going for the long run. But in reality, it’s the small things that sometimes get overlooked.
Getting a small surprise once in a while for your partner will make them feel appreciated and cared for.
It’s one easy thing you can do today to strengthen the relationship.
7. When the birthday is coming, do something different
Instead of buying her a basic birthday cake and flowers like you usually do, try out something new this time.
Maybe go for a hike together and give her a surprise up in the mountain. Or go to a concert by her favorite artist on the weekend.
Whatever it is, come up with new ideas, so your partner knows you still feel the same about them.
Last birthday, instead of going for a nice dine-in, my partner booked a comedy show for both of us and arranged a small trip outside town. It feels so special still knowing he still puts so much effort into the relationship.
8. More cuddles on weekdays
My partner and I always make sure to be there for each other, especially when our stress level is high. And this usually happens on weekdays when both of us are stressed about our work.
So we’d set a timer for at least 15 mins and just cuddle.
We don’t talk or discuss how sucks the work is, we just lay down there being a 100% present.
This works every time to boost our mood for the rest of the day and also lessen the stress we have.
9. Take your me-time seriously
How do you make sure you don’t get too mentally exhausting by socializing with your partner so much? You take a break!
Yes, taking a break is just as important as taking the time for your partner. Don’t skip your alone time because you want to please him/her.
If needed, build a self-care routine every weekend and do things that have nothing to do with your partner. It’s one of the best ways for you to feel recharged and come back to your partner with more loving energy.
10. Go for counseling
Most couples think they should go for therapy when they have a big issue that they need to solve. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Being in therapy helps you know yourself (and your partner) better. You don’t even need to go together if you’re uncomfortable.
My partner and I have different therapists and share what’s new insights or our progress after every session.
After all, being in a relationship doesn’t mean you stop working on your relationship.
“Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.”
— Carroll Bryant
Being appreciated and loved when you’re in a relationship is very important. In order to keep the connection strong and both people happy, there has to be constant work being put in.
So try out one or two from the list above and see how much it’ll charge for the better.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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Great article! Long distance relationships are tough and over time one partner generally looses interest in the relationship, to understand why this happens, we should understand human psychology. I had recently read this article – https://datingtipslife.com/hero-instinct-in-men/ which talks about how humans want to feel like a hero in all times. This has a direct correlation with why people loose interest in their relationships.