Did you just go through a break-up? Frank Lowe has some tough love and a to-do list for you. Get your pencils out. Ready? Go.
Feeling sad or lonely? STOP IT. The following list is compiled from actual things I did for myself that have given me strength, and I feel would do the same for anyone after a breakup. So stop your Netflix binge-watching for a minute and do everything I say:
- Get your ass to the gym. If you haven’t been going already, now is the time. Make it the one commitment you keep, and try to get in at least 4 days a week. It doesn’t take too long to see results, and before you know it, your post-breakup body will be slammin’. It’s true what they say too – exercise improves mental health, which is what you need right now.
- Avoid looking at your ex’s social media. I don’t care if you ended things on “good terms” or you’re “still friends.” Give it a break. A long one. You don’t have to be extreme and block him out, but don’t you dare ever get drunk and start a pity party staring at his fabulous new Instagram pictures. DON’T. LOOK.
- Speaking of social media, keep yours happy and light. I don’t care if you’re wallowing in despair – keep that private and offline. Your online persona should stay status quo and as fun as possible. Go out with friends. Take pictures with said friends. Post pictures with said friends. Just whatever you do – don’t downward spiral online. If you get intoxicated, put your phone down until you’re sober.
- Learn how to take a killer selfie. It’s almost 2016. A stellar selfie speaks way more than a thousand words. Practice makes perfect, and the less posed – the better. Avoid duck lips and open fish gape mouth at all costs. Just be yourself, shine through the camera, and make sure you look sexy as fu*k. Make this your new profile picture, everywhere.
- Only speak highly of your ex. First of all, never bring him up in conversation. Second, it doesn’t matter how it ended, but man/woman up and realize that you were with this person for a period of time, and therefore there are some good qualities. You don’t have to admire those qualities anymore, you just have to remember them to help you keep your composure when people ask questions. Just say “things didn’t work out” and change the subject.
- Do your favorite things, often. Now is the time that you don’t have to feel guilty if you want to sit on the sofa and play video games for several days straight. Feed yourself with whatever stimulates you. If it’s food, then see #1) and make sure you balance it out with a lot of cardio. You need to start being the best you, so start with the basics and do things you love.
- Make some fun new friends. Yay, you are single now! But there’s a good chance a lot of your current friends are not, so seize this opportunity to meet new people. Fortunately, there’s a trillion ways to do this, and with your glowing new personality, you will naturally attract new friends. It won’t take long before you’ll have a little group to go out and wreck the town with.
- Go on a shopping spree. Not a “max your credit cards out and go into crippling debt” shopping spree, but get yourself to the mall and find a couple pair of perfect jeans that make your ass look amazing. Try buying a couple of things that are out of your comfort zone, too. Splurge on something you wouldn’t normally buy for yourself. Retail therapy isn’t cheap, but it’s highly effective.
- If kids are involved, keep them out of it completely. As a parent/guardian, it is your dutyto make sure any children stay as happy as possible through your breakup. That means you are going to have an open line of communication with your ex and discuss the best strategies to do so. It may inconvenience both of you, or one of you, but who cares – the kids are the most important part of the equation. You will get your chance to vent to your friends, but suck it up in front of your kid(s), at all points in time.
- Get the hell back out there. If you have done steps 1-9, you should be feeling pretty awesome about yourself, and realized that you are now a breakup badass. Scrape up the confidence from nowhere if you have to, but get out and meet new people and just have fun. A fun fling is chicken soup for the post-breakup soul. Go for someone who is the exact opposite of your ex – you’ll be amazed at how cleansing that can be. Don’t think you’re going to meet your next long-term relationship right away, but now is the time for you to have fun. FUN. So go have it.
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Originally published on Gays With Kids.
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Photo: Flickr/Abd allah Foteih