Editor’s note: In Part 3 of this 3-part series, Jim Brillo of Out and Informed (TherapyCable) interviews Dr. Joe Kort about his book 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Improve Their Lives The two hit on male socialization regarding expressing emotions. Here are the highlights. The full video interview is below.
Here are 10 excellent tips for helping gay men improve their lives.
(1) Taking responsibilities in their own life: Bless yourself, don’t wait for society to accept you empower yourself
(2)Affirming yourself by coming out: By staying in the closet, you are subject to acquire physical and mental health issues from the stress of hiding
(3) The importance of resolving issues with your family: Being able to accept the lengths your family can go to in accepting you. Being forceful and demanding they accept you wholeheartedly despite reservations is unfair.
(4) Graduate from eternal adolescence: Jim Brillon defines this step as men being unable to mature since there is not a female presence in the relationship, he stresses the importance of identifying the markers of immaturity and working through them. Making the choice to remember that there is another person in the relationship with feelings
(5) Avoiding or overcoming sexual addiction: The liberation of sexuality becomes problematic. Most men don’t need to feel a deep connection in order to meet up and engage in sexual activity and some gay men can report having sex with up to 7 men a week.
(6) Importance of learning through successful mentors and those who have “been there and done that”: Finding someone to look up to, who inspires you to be who you are and do more than what you could be. Learning from another person is important!
(7) Taking advantage of therapy workouts: Doing the mental and inside work, remembering why you left certain places and people behind and being conscious of constantly working through your mental barriers.
Here is the video interview:
Watch Part One, here: The Fluidity of Male Sexuality
Watch Part Two here: Gay-Affirmative Therapy, Sexual Assault, and Developmental Trauma
More by Dr. Joe Kort here on GMP:
In the complicated world of sex therapy, the concepts of abuse and victimization are not as easily defined as they are in the public’s mind.
What happens when one partner wants sex more than the other? Dr. Joe Kort discusses sexual desire discrepancy.
It is crucial that we not generalize men as sexual predators waiting to pounce on any unsuspecting person just to get our sexual needs met.
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Photo credit: Screenshot from video