11 Signs He’s Serious About You [Video]

Transcript provided by YouTube (unedited)

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so as many of you know a couple of weeks
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ago i got engaged i suppose my love life
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has always been very interesting because
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even though i’ve lived out my love life
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very much in private
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people have always very publicly asked
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me what my relationship status is
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imagine your grandmother or your mother
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at the thanksgiving table pressuring you
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and saying why aren’t you married yet
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why don’t you have a partner
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imagine that
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times a million
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and that’s been my life for the last
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decade it’s also interesting to be
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getting engaged
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at a time when
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so many of our audience so many of you
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who follow me are asking me why men
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won’t commit
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do we live in an era where just
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the norm is men not wanting to commit
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not wanting a real relationship and so
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we thought we’d take this opportunity
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to make a video
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about the signs that someone is actually
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getting more serious with you and we
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came up with 11.
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number one he brags about you in front
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of other people it’s a particular kind
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of compliment isn’t it when someone
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doesn’t just compliment you in private
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but they do it in front of others their
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friends their family strangers that you
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just met together it shows a particular
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kind of respect and admiration so if he
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starts bigging you up in front of other
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people that’s a pretty lovely sign
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number two he’s willing to mix your
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lives in a way that might be
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inconvenient to him whether it’s going
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to see your friends in a different part
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of town or going to something that your
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family wants you to go to things that
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ordinarily might seem like sacrifices
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but he doesn’t treat them as sacrifices
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instead he just sees them as things that
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will make you happy and therefore it
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makes him happy to do them which leads
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me nicely on to number three
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your happiness is more important to him
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than his
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tastes he buys you tickets to that
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celine dion concert
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that you really want to go to
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but the two tickets are for you and him
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not you and your friend he’s willing to
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go see celine or he listens to your
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music in the car
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you have no idea how many times i have
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listened to the encanto album
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through
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number four he’s willing to adjust the
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temperature of his house
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which as jameson will tell you i didn’t
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do
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four years
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when jameson was here
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freezing his little balls off in the icy
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tundra
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you could probably cut that why
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i just don’t want to buy them my balls
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are a little
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jameson literally came in today and
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remarked
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with some venom and resentment at how
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warm the house is now
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number five he plans a trip with you
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months in advance
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anyone can take you away for the weekend
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this weekend but for someone to actually
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say let’s plan a trip for a few months
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from now you know at the very least
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they’re planning on being with you
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longer they’re actually looking at
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investing and building something in the
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meantime
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number six he respects the things that
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are important to you i was i do
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brazilian jiu jitsu and there was a
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woman in this class who had just got her
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black belt
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and when someone gets their black belt
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they get to give a speech
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and it was very beautiful because while
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she was giving her speech
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all of us were lined up listening and
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her husband was off to the side of the
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mat
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watching with their dog in his arms
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and just
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his eyes watering at watching this
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person he loves
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achieve this amazing thing
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so
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and there was something profoundly
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beautiful to me about that that he both
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respect and respected
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and admired her for something that
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mattered
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to her
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and was part of that with her
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number seven the fights have less
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ultimatums you know that when you’re in
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the beginning with someone and just sort
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of every fight is relationship
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threatening ever it doesn’t matter what
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you argue about it’s always a question
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in that moment of is this all too much
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is this worth it are we really maybe
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maybe i’ll just storm out and never come
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back well
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hopefully over time
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the threats on the relationship become
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less
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you don’t walk away so easily and in
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fact someone who’s serious about you has
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a desire to make up with you quicker
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because the health of the relationship
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is paramount to them
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and
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simply walking off and being at odds
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with you and having the problems of the
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relationship fester becomes a less and
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less viable option
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number eight his friends teasing him
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about how in love he is how much he’s
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investing in the relationship how much
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time he’s not spending with them is no
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longer
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something that affects him in the same
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way as it would have before it’s not his
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kryptonite
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anymore he’s not made weaker
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by these teasings of his bros
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i remember when i posted the
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engagement announcement my engagement
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announcement
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and there was just some bloke in the
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comments it was lots of lovely lovely
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comments thousands it was unbelievable
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and so touching then there was just this
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one bloke in the comments that went
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another one bites the dust
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when we’re happy and when we feel like
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i know this is right
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we’re not
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i weakened by the
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comments that in relationships where we
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were less certain
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of our own decision
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we would have
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been affected by they would have needled
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us not because someone was so important
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necessarily but because it struck an
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uncertainty that we already had
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number nine
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when he stops worrying so much about
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missing out on other plans because he’s
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happiest when he’s spending time with
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you fomo
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becomes
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fomu
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oliver berkman talks about the problem
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of fomo in his book 4000 weeks where he
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talks about this idea that
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we’re all worried about missing out on
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things and by definition we are always
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missing out on everything all the time
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and when someone’s not particularly
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happy in a situation or when they’re got
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one foot out of the door they’re in
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they’re acutely aware of all of the
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things that they’re missing out on in
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that moment the party that their friends
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invited them to the tr the boys trip
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that they could have gone on the
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family event that’s happening or just
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the myriad things that he could be doing
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that aren’t being with you in this
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moment
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but that fear of i’m missing out on
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everything becomes irrelevant in the
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context of
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someone that you’re building something
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with someone that makes you happiest
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when you’re with them
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the everything becomes the feeling that
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you have
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when you’re with them so you’re no
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longer searching for the everything
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that’s on the outside
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number 10 he starts collecting mementos
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from your time together could be a trip
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you went on it could be an evening you
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had together where they gave you
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something in a restaurant but these
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little
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knick-knacks that are the
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milestones of your relationship he keeps
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because
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it matters it becomes part of the fabric
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the history of your relationship
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together not everyone is sentimental
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like this but
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you know what it’s like when you care
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about someone you’re more likely to hold
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on to something as a symbol
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of your time with that person as
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something that reminds you of that
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person or a time in the relationship if
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he starts getting sentimental
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about things from your relationship
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together
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that counts for something
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number 11 his associations
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with commitment itself
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change
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i know that for
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most of my life it always felt like
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commitment was giving something up it
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always felt like a sacrifice there was
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always some
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glorification
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of the other whatever the other may be
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some idea of freedom some idea of single
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life but i remember thinking
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with this person i am
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ready to actually
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build something i’m excited to build
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something
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and
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with that my entire associations
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around a relationship around commitment
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all the things that felt scary about
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commitment didn’t feel
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scary felt natural felt like home that
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becomes true doesn’t it of anything in
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life that we develop a kind of positive
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addiction
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for you know when if we’ve spent our
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life being really unhealthy and then all
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of a sudden
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we discover good nutrition and exercise
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and we start feeling really good
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it doesn’t feel like a sacrifice anymore
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instead it feels like
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this is where i want to be this is what
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i want to be doing our associations
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change i’m not sacrificing something
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really exciting
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for this thing that’s really good for me
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the thing that’s really good for me
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feels like the thing that’s really
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exciting there are many many ways that a
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person could show you that their
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associations have
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shifted the way they describe
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their relationship their time with you
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and what it represents to them and the
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way they talk about their past or
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the other life
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unchosen
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do they talk about it with a sense of
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melancholy and
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heaviness and
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i’ve sacrificed so much or do they talk
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about it with a sense of
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calm and peace a feeling of i know that
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where i am is
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where i want to be
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thank you so much for watching
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i wanted to let all of you know
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that i have something really special
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coming up on the 23rd of this month for
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my members i am holding a two hour
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master class on how to get him to commit
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because you maybe have gone through this
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video and listened to all of these
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things i’ve said and thought well i
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would really like someone to do and be
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all of the things you just said but i’m
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not seeing those things
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well
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there are actually things you can do to
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influence that situation i don’t believe
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that it’s any woman’s fault if a guy
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won’t or can’t commit
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so
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i want you to remove that from your mind
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if someone hasn’t committed to you in
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the past or isn’t committing now that’s
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not your fault
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but i’d be lying
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if i didn’t say that there were things i
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have learned over the years in 15 years
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of working with people’s love lives
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that they could do to influence
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whether a guy commits or not
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you have more power than you even know
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and once you understand the levers that
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you can use
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to change how comfortable someone feels
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about committing to you how safe they
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feel how trusting they feel of you and
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the future they’ll get with you how
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excited they are about the future that
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waits for them if they choose you once
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you understand
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how to affect and impact those things
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you have the best possible chance
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at getting someone to commit to you on a
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deeper level and in this two-hour
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masterclass i am going to show you
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exactly
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what you can do to have that impact on
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someone you’re seeing
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all you need to do to be part of this
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because like i said it’s an exclusive is
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for my love life club members
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but
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you can join on a free two-week trial to
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come and be a part of this experience it
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and if you don’t want to stay a member
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you don’t have to stay a member you can
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bounce out again without paying a penny
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but you can also stay in and be part of
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a bigger journey with us if you want
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either way
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come and try this if for no other reason
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than to be part of this two hour master
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class go to
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askmh.com to be a part of this and to
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claim your free trial
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and i look forward to seeing you on the
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23rd thank you so much for watching it’s
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lovely to be
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back on the sofa
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for a video
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and i’ll see you next week
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[Music]
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you

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This post was previously published on YouTube.

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