13 Proven Signs a Woman Is Into You

Gentlemen, here’s one thing you should know about women. If they have a crush on you, you’ll know without them having to say it blatantly. It’s not rocket science to figure out if a girl likes you or not. Women are not very subtle when it comes to making it known that they have the hots for a guy. I’m talking from personal experience.

If you must crack your brain trying to figure out if a girl is into you or not, chances are she’s not and you must get the hint and move on with your life.

Since women are traditionally the pursued in relationships, they may not show any of the signs I’m about to discuss to a guy who is not showing any interest in them, even if they like him. They would rather hide their feelings than make the first move and risk being rejected. So, if you are the type of dude who is not going to make the first move and expect the girl you like to pursue you, you might as well donate your manhood to a more deserving masculine man.

None of the signs I’m about to discuss were extracted from the internet. I’ve observed them from my own personal experience with both the women I’ve dated and those I didn’t date.

1. She can’t take her eyes off of you

As they say, “eyes are the windows to the soul”. Have you ever met someone for the very first time and they just couldn’t stop looking at you? Every chance that they get, you find them glancing at you with a subtle and gentle smile. Human beings love to look at things or people they find appealing.

I once met a girl who couldn’t stop glancing at me after I had approached her and I was instantly smitten by her. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever laid my eyes on at the time. In fact, she looked like a dream come true. Little words were exchanged between us, especially because it was my first time making the first move towards a stranger, but sparks kept on flying as we kept on glancing non-stop at each other. This was a one-time thing. Nothing ever happened between us because I barely saw her after that day and I made the mistake of not asking for her phone number when I had that one chance.

I spent so much time wondering what could have been between us but eventually I had to make peace with the fact that nothing was ever gonna happen between us. Sometimes I asked myself if what I felt for her was love or limerence. I never found the answer to that question, but what I do know for sure is that whatever it was that I felt is something I’ll never forget.

The feeling was so powerful it brought up the writer in me that you see today and it inspired the two love letters below. I didn’t write these letters for her but I channeled the emotions I had towards my brief and memorable encounter with her to express my creativity when it comes to literary expressing the matters of the heart. In other words, I placed myself in the shoes of a guy in love with a girl he can’t have which I once was.

2. She lights up every time she sees you

Whenever you meet a girl that has a crush on you, you’ll notice how her mood changes. She lights up and becomes cheerful because she’s always happy to see you. Nothing can distract her from you when you are around. Her whole attention shifts towards you.

3. She has no problem initiating a chat/conversation with you

For probably a lot of women out there, texting first is still an issue, but for the one that really likes you, this is not an issue at all, unless she’s the one who often initiates a chat with you. This may give her the impression that you are probably not as into her as she is into you.

You don’t want to play games with the girl that likes you by waiting for her to text you first or delay your responses to her texts for no good reason other than trying to play it cool. Just text the girl whenever you find the time or when you are both available to chat, especially if you already know that she’s always open and willing to chat with you. Sometimes you may find that she beats you to it as you are about to text her first. This girl likes you more than her pride and has got no time for childish games. That’s the girl worth your time and attention.

4. She views and replies to almost anything you post on social media

If there is one thing I know for sure about a woman that has an interest in a guy, it is that she will stalk him on social media. I don’t mean this in a weird or creepy kind of way. Think of it this way. If you are genuinely captivated and intrigued by someone and you see yourself dating them, you’ll want to check them out on their socials to see what they are all about; what they like, where and with whom they like to hang out or have fun, hobbies, relationship status, and everything in between.

She may not like and engage with every single one of your social media posts so that she does not come across as a stalker, but she sees every thing that you post and does not miss any of your stories. However, it’s not every woman who does this that is romantically interested in you. Some may just be intrigued by you without wanting to date you, that’s all.

5. She is highly curious about you

Adding to what I just said above, a woman that is into you will not just learn more about you through your socials, but will ask you everything she wants to know about you. She does not hide her curiosity about you. One of the dead giveaways that she may be into you is if she asks you about your love life. She may ask you about your previous relationships, your relationship status and the type of woman you prefer to date, including your relationship red flags. The intention behind these questions is as clear as day.

She also asks you more personal questions concerning your background, lifestyle, beliefs and values, and everything in between.

6. She opens up to you about her personal life

A woman that really likes you will have no issue opening up to you about her personal life. She’ll want you to know her for who she is, but you’ll have to really want to know her before she can reveal herself to you.

Let’s say, for example, a guy take a woman out on a first date. Between the guy who spends the entire time talking about himself and the guy who expresses genuine interest in getting to know his date and listen attentively to her when she speaks, which guy will she choose? If you thought it’s the second guy, you’d be correct. I’m also attracted to someone with a genuine interest in getting to know me compared to the one who likes to brag about themselves.

Here’s the thing though. When you are still in the talking stage with your crush, you both are likely to present the best versions of yourselves towards each other to make a great impression. The more time you spend together or maybe let’s say the longer you have been dating this person, the more likely you are to discover the things that you dislike about them. I’m talking about the red flags. This is the point where the other person starts revealing their true colours. When you reach this point in a relationship, this can make or break the relationship. Unfortunately in my case, it broke the relationship.

7. She can lose track of time talking to you (emotional connection)

To me, this is the defining moment that tells me exactly where I stand in a girl’s mind and heart. Once a girl starts calling you and talks to you on the phone for hours without running out of things to talk about, especially during night time, just know that she’s into you and it’s only a matter of time before the two of you start dating.

Something about such phone calls feels weirdly intimate, not to mention the hours feel like a minute when you talk to someone you have a mutual crush on. If you are the last voice that a girl wants to hear before she sleeps at night, you’ve already won, brother.

8. She likes being around you all the time

This can also be applicable to friendships. We’ve probably all met someone at some point in our lives whose presence, energy and vibe were attractive and we couldn’t help but become their friend.

The only difference is that you can go a day, two or more without seeing a friend and you’d be completely fine with that, but it’s a different story when it’s someone you have a huge crush on or someone you just started dating. You want to be with them all the time and the distance between you two often feels like torture. That is how it was in my previous long-distance relationship, especially for the lady.

I have been someone’s crush a few times before and in one of those occasions when I was still a college student, I had a girl who used to visit me in my room everyday when I lived in a student residence off campus. Everyone in the building knew that she had the hots for me and shipped us to date which never happened. I kinda liked her too. Well, I was attracted to her more than I liked her, but I never acted on my attraction towards her. I genuinely enjoyed her company and missed her when she was not around.

9. She asks you out or puts herself in a position to be asked out

The same girl I just mentioned above once called me at 06:00 am, asking me out for a cup of coffee. I don’t remember what my response was because I was still asleep but the coffee date didn’t happen. I didn’t reject her though. I just didn’t entertain the idea any further. She clearly liked me. There is no way that a girl who does not have a crush on you would call you at 06:00 am to ask out out on a coffee date.

If a girl likes you and wants to go out with you, she will ask you about your plans for a certain day and make it known that she is available on that day so that you ask her out on a date.

10. She initiates sexting between you guys

This happened to me twice in a row last year. What I realized in both occasions is that sexting with a woman starts after you’ve already built a strong and solid emotional connection with her. A strong emotional connection precedes a strong physical attraction. I’m speaking for those who want to be in a long-term relationship, not one night stands or friends with benefits.

When a woman really wants you and is already emotionally attracted to you, she will reveal a more sexual and freaky side of her through sexting. If you’re lucky, she’ll even send you some hot pictures of herself to entice and tempt you. When this happened to me, I just went with the flow and matched her freak and it worked wonders.

If you’ve already read a few of my previous articles which I wrote this year, specifically this one, you’d know exactly where I now stand when it comes to pre-marital sex. I’m over the stuff that does not glorify God. Sexting is something I can no longer entertain or encourage in any of my relationships because it often leads to fornication, but if you are into that stuff and you already have a woman sexting you, then congrats. You are only left with arranging to meet with her in a private area with a bedroom to seal the deal which I don’t encourage before marriage, of course.

11. She starts planning her future with you in it

If you just started dating someone and she’s already talking about plans to marry you and have your children one day, that is another dead giveaway that she has fallen madly in love with you. In this case though, we’re not talking about a crush but about someone who is already your girlfriend.

A girl who has a crush on you may, for example, bring to your awareness the upcoming events that she may want to attend with you. It could be a concert, sports event or any other event that she knows you’d like to attend and suggests that you go to that event together.

A girl who likes you may also paint a picture of a world in which the two of you are dating to see your reaction. She may do this by mentioning how the people in her life always ask her if the two of you are dating and anything else that they say about what they think whenever they see the two of you together. She may also ask you if there’s people in your life that have asked or said something similar about you guys and how you reacted and responded to that.

12. She spends her money on you

This sign is special because it’s rare to find a woman who spends her own money on a guy, unless she really likes him. The amount spent in this case doesn’t matter, but the fact that a woman spending money from her own pocket to buy you something, regardless of what it is and how much it costs, speaks volumes, especially if she does this on multiple occasions.

13. She gets nervous around you

This one happens to all of us when we have a crush on someone.

I remember last year when I surprise-visited my ex for the first time on her last night in Pretoria before she flew back home the next day. This was the night we first met as a couple and the second time we had ever met. This was also the night we had our first kiss and boy was she a nervous wreck. She was literally shaking, caught by surprise and excited all at the same time. It was so cute. Surprisingly, I wasn’t nervous at all.

That was the most magical night I had the entire year last year and we didn’t even make love. We spent only two hours and thirty minutes together before I had to go back home. I had never experienced the kind of warmth, love, passion and intimacy with anyone else before like I did with this woman during that night. It’s a pity that it didn’t work out between us because what we had was so beautiful at some point, but I have no regrets whatsoever.

Bonus: She confesses her love for you before you do

I made this one a bonus because it’s not applicable to all women. I think a lot of them out there are still afraid to be the first one to drop the l-bomb to a man that they are falling in love with for different reasons. The one reason I can think of is the assumption that this can chase a guy away. I don’t know if there is any truth to this assumption though.

Personally, I have the highest respect for women who are bold and brave enough to be the first to tell a guy that they love him. If the feeling is mutual, then why should it matter who says it first? I’ve also heard the assumption that the one who does not drop the l-bomb first holds more power in a relationship. I mean, what is that all about? There shouldn’t be any power dynamics in love.

I have had a couple of girls in the past being the first to tell me that they loved me and the feeling was already mutual. The first time this happened was in high school where I had a crush who confessed her love for me online. It also kind of, sort of happened in varsity. I never dated any of those girls not because I didn’t feel the same. Like I said, the feeling was mutual. It just so happened that I wasn’t ready for a relationship at the time and I didn’t have the courage to admit it.

The first time I had someone being the first to drop the l-bomb on me when I was finally ready to be in a relationship turned out to be a catfish. If you want to read more about that, click on the links below.

As for my ex, she was the first woman I ever told that I loved her before she did. This was frightening but also easy because I already knew that she felt the same way, but she kind of turned me down in order to heal first from a heartbreak from a previous break-up. She said she wanted me to date a healed version of her which I thought was fair.

I didn’t take this rejection personally and was completely understanding. During that time she was still healing, we still texted and talked like a couple, even though we weren’t officially dating. A few weeks later, we started dating which was sooner than the time I was willing to give her to focus on her healing. I guess she couldn’t wait any longer.

Gents, my point is if a woman confesses her love for you before you do, just know that she means it.

Conclusion

Gentlemen, now that you know what signs to look for in a woman to figure out if she has a crush on you, which of these signs have you observed from the girl(s) you’ve interacted with, and what happened between you guys? Ladies, if there are any other signs I missed out, drop a comment below.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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