13 Sucky Realities to Expect from Long-Distance Relationships

I always tell my coaching clients to NOT get into long-distance relationships.

The one exception might be when you’re madly in love and there’s a clear deadline for when you’ll be back together.

But, even then, the distance is going to suck hard. Sometimes, even the strongest connections are broken by it.

Here are 13 harsh realities you can expect from a long-distance relationship.

1. No Physical Intimacy

All young adults crave sex to a certain extent. Hugs, kisses and other forms of physical affection too. Studies show there are several mental health benefits associated with all of this.

By agreeing to remain faithful to a long-distance partner, you’re essentially turning your back on it.

You’re not just going to be super-horny because of this. You could find yourself being less happy in general.

2. You’ll Miss Each Other

A more obvious reason to be sad in long-distance relationships; you miss each other’s company. After a while, video calls just don’t cut it.

3. You Won’t Know How Each Other Are Feeling

When you’re regularly in each other’s company, you’ll be able to tell if something’s up with your partner and vice-versa. From there, you can make the necessary moves to put a smile on each other’s faces.

These nuances get lost in long-distance relationships. We tend to put on a brave face in communications with a long-distance partner, meaning they don’t know when to put in that extra effort to cheer us up.

We might also be hit with feelings of paranoia that our partner is upset with us when things are actually going fine.

4. Jealousy Strikes

When we can’t read our long-distance partner’s feelings, we often misread their other social relationships.

Perhaps we become jealous or insecure about her male friends. This paranoia is exhausting and has no place in a healthy relationship.

5. Temptation Strikes

Long-distance partners often find themselves getting closer to other people. They miss real-world affection, so they subconsciously seek it elsewhere.

They tell themselves they don’t want to cheat, but the temptation grows as time goes on.

This is something you need to be aware of if you want your long-distance relationship to last.

6. You Get Stuck In A Rut

Since you can only enjoy virtual dates together, there’s a greater risk of becoming bored with the routine of your long-distance relationship.

This is one reason why it’s so important to arrange to visit each other as often as possible.

7. You’ll Seek Constant Reassurance

Often, you’ll find your partner regularly seeking assurance that you still love them. Maybe you’re the one seeking it.

This is an annoying side-effect of jealousy and not being able to read each other’s feelings.

You can both come across as needy and desperate for love, but that’s the reality of long-distance relationships sometimes.

8. Missing Out On The Little Things

When you’re apart for so long, you begin to miss out on the small joys of a relationship. Watching the latest hit movie together. Hanging out with your mutual friends. Spontaneous kisses on the forehead.

What’s more, you don’t get to learn about your partner’s little quirks, likes and dislikes. It’s this detailed knowledge that fuels a deep love.

9. Long-Distance Relationships Can Be Expensive and Exhausting

We live in a time where it’s easy to video-call your loved ones for free.

But there’s every chance that the cost of visiting your partner is hurting you.

Even if the journey is relatively cheap, the constant travel can make you physically exhausted.

10. There’s A Lot Of Pressure On Your In-Person Time

Being apart can make time together seem more intense and fast-paced. Often, you feel pressure to make the most of it. So, if something goes wrong, it can cause a lot more stress than normal.

If you spend your time together arguing, it can seem like more of a big deal than usual since it could be a while before you can make it up to each other.

11. You Lash Out Over The Smallest Things

The annoyances of a long-distance relationship can weigh down on you over time. Perhaps the stress makes you lash out at a partner for making a tiny mistake.

Sometimes, the smallest arguments can be enough to threaten the relationship because of this stress. In these moments, it can feel like the relationship isn’t worth fighting for.

12. A Lack Of Effort Creeps In

Most long-distance couples are aware that it takes extra effort to maintain the excitement in their relationship. Early on, there’s plenty of regular phone calls, gifts and visits. But this consistency tends to fade with time.

It’s difficult to sustain this effort. Life begins to get in the way. The excitement for yet another video call begins to dwindle. It’s at this point that one or both partners begin to lose faith in the relationship.

In many cases, this is the beginning of the end.

13. Heartbreak

There is a chance you can get through a long-distance relationship.

However, a 2018 poll suggested that 42% of long-distance relationships break up before they manage to move closer. This doesn’t include the couples who reunite then realize they’re no longer compatible. Another poll suggested this happens to 37% of reuniting couples within three months.

So, yeah, the chances are you’ll go for all this stress just to break up anyway.

That’s why I recommend ending the relationship before you part ways. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

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My articles teach young men how to escape their comfort zones, improve their mental health and make better dating decisions. Follow me on Medium for more useful advice.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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