The best love is that which allows you to be free.
You must have a path.
You, as a man, MUST have a path. You MUST have something that you are oriented towards. Now, there’s nothing wrong with wandering or feeling lost, however at these times, you MUST still be orienting towards something. You MUST have a path. A goal. Ambition. You MUST have something that is more than just yourself. Having this and moving towards it’s one of the MOST attractive things you can do. It orients people toward you and brings many into your life.
Fuck sex…. I’d rather spend a lazy Sunday with you in bed.
Sex is overrated. Sorry to break the news to you… so what’s underrated? LAZY weekend days! I’m talking about the mornings after where you don’t just do a walk of shame (I personally find one night stands to be pretty lame and empty, yeah they’re fun…. but generally, I’m not a big fan personally), but you end up spending some time together the next day. Waking up, maybe making coffee, some crepes or eggs, or maybe even delighting on pizza and wine in bed all afternoon while football is on in the background (thank GOD to the women of the SEC!). Now, yes…. usually afternoons like this involve some intimate fun (usually a couple of times throughout, haha) but I’d RATHER take some time like these, hands and arms embracing each other throughout the morning and afternoon while you get to forget about your adult “priorities.”
You MUST attract with what and who you are, NOT what you have.
I had a friend in Atlanta who put this eloquently; guys would try to constantly get her with material items, but if so, why are you mad women are gold diggers? If that’s the game you bring, you’re doing it wrong. You MUST attract with the core of what and you are. No one can take your humor or confidence. No one can take away your attitude, knowledge or worldview, however, some things can take away the material. Improve your core self, never attract by the material or you’ll only attract the wrong things.
Iron Paradise…. learn it, love it, let it set you free.
If you’re not in the gym already or exercising, you’re doing it WRONG! I can’t tell you how much you can improve by consistently exercising. Your posture improves, you feel better, you’re better conditioned-people take note of this WHEREVER you are. Nights out. Work meetings, etc.
Never tolerate bullshit….from anyone or anything.
It’s hard to do but never tolerate mistreatment, selfish or uncaring attitudes… and never believe someone is ‘too busy.’ The moment you start to tolerate it‘s the moment it will start to creep in other aspects of your life.
You’re a lighthouse and a rock
As a man, you’re a lighthouse and a rock. Why? You‘re the lighthouse that distracts her from the day to day bullshit we all go through. No single woman wakes up and says,’God, I DONT wanna meet a great guy today! NOT today!’ The problem is, women have already seen the circus before. They know the lines. They’ve been told their gorgeous PLENTY of times before. Be different. Be honest. Be genuine. Be on top of your things and have your goals. Be a great man with integrity, passion, humor, compassion for more than just yourself. Be the exception to the rule! Woman want to be taken care of. You‘re THE lighthouse from the monotony.
But not only are you a lighthouse, but you’re also a rock. While this has been said before, you and I both know the emotions women can have. No matter HOW she acts emotionally in these times; if you EVER match her emotionally-you WILL lose. You MUST act calm during these times. You are THE rock that doesn’t move amongst the tempest. IF you can’t weather HER storm, how can she know you will be able to take care of things when life REALLY gets hard?
Relationships are ONLY catch and release….. until someone proves otherwise.
Never bring expectations into something, until both parties make it clear that’s what’s wanted. Until a relationship arrives there, solely seek to have fun, do right by others and explore. Furthermore, the beauty of this is not putting too much emphasis into things and knowing they might, that’s what makes things more beautiful. Time is more limited, and you know that person will be back out in that sea eventually, let this empower you to leave people better than you met them.
Radio silence kills all hope.
Whether radio silence, ghosting or even in argument and the other person isn’t responsive or not contacting you back–DON’T tolerate this! This is different than being upset because at least you know where you stand. In radio silence, however, there is nowhere to go, and the silent person is solely breaking the relationship down. When this starts to happen consistently, you can kiss the relationship goodbye.
Honesty above all else.
I can NOT tell you how many stories I’ve heard from close friends where I’ve just heard how deceitful and hurtful others are out there. There are SCORES of shitty people out there. No matter WHAT, you should ALWAYS strive to NEVER be one of those people. ANY decent relationship is founded on good communication and trust, any time EITHER of these two waver, so will the relationship.
The best love is that which allows you to be free.
Women can have a number of things going on their life that they’ve trying to figure out. From finances, to career, to friend or family situations, to even another guy possibly. If you’re just coming into their life, and there’re other things going on, you must be willing to give them the space to take care of those other things. Also, NO ONE doesn’t want to be themselves or their best self. If you’re constantly controlling or wanting them to be someone they’re not, you’re insecure and doing it wrong.
Photo: Flickr/ Ed Yourdon