Many believe that when two people get married, divorce should not be an option.
Until death do them part. It’s that simple. Right?
But…What if staying together is the one thing threatening to put them both into an early grave?
When we make our vows to another person, both parties are equally involved in the commitment. It seems that, when a couple is having issues and contemplating divorce, the only part of the vows that anyone wants to remember are the promises of being together forever.
Many are quick to forgive their spouse for completely lacking any sort of honor and trust. Most will even stay with a partner that shows absolutely no love or affection. In most of these cases, neither party feels in any way “cherished.” We need never forget that these too are parts of the sacred vows of marriage.
Marriage is never anything to take lightly. It is, most definitely, NOT a way to prove your affection for one another. If you are unsure about the validity of your partner’s love for you, then there is still a lot of work to be done before tying the knot.
There are many milestones that a relationship must achieve before a couple is ready to be hitched. Marriage is not one of those steps that we use to make our relationship stronger, however, it is the gift that we receive only after a relationship has reached its strongest point.
Getting married should be the most exciting adventure that two people ever endure together. It should never be a nerve racking process filled with doubt and fear. Two people must already know, without any underlying concern, that they are destined to be together and also already figured out a way of life in which they act harmoniously as one perfect unit. Only then can a couple continue to grow as a family within the strict confines of marriage.
The number of divorces is growing rapidly every day. When we find ourselves contemplating a separation from our spouse, the uncertainty of the future can be overwhelming. What is everyone going to think? How are our children going to handle this? Can I make it in this big, scary world alone? Our own minds, and even those closest to us, may tell us that we are in the wrong and that it is dishonorable to leave our spouse.
This is the point when we need to remember that the commitment was made from both parties. Only the man and woman involved in the relationship know the true extent of what is really going on behind the scenes. Only the man and woman involved, have the power to change anything about their marriage. Even if the best choice, for everyone, is divorce.
What are some valid reasons for a couple to break their sacred vows? I, personally, can think of three. While I believe that the sanctity of marriage is something that should never be broken, if at all possible, I also feel that there are certain reasons that a person deserves to be freed from their commitment. Especially if the husband or wife is not trying to fix the problem in any way.
The following are the 3 biggest reasons most people separate from their spouse.
1. Physical and Mental abuse should never, in any way, be tolerated in a marriage. If the person with the issue refuses any type of anger management, the spouse would have no choice but to escape the relationship. For their own safety, and the safety of any kids that the couple may have. When children are brought into an abusive marriage, they often carry on the violent behavior into their own love lives.
2. Drug and Alcohol Abuse has become an overwhelming pandemic. The effect that it has had on the American Modern family has been detrimental. For any marriage to get past addiction, both parties will have to be equally committed to the one that is sick. It can take a lot of time and a lot of broken trust to heal from the scandalous things a person’s spouse can do in the endless pursuit of getting high or drunk. In the long run, everyone needs to look out for their own well being. When children are involved, sometimes it’s best to completely separate them from the situation. Addiction can be dealt with, but sometimes, enough is enough. Eventually, staying with someone that is constantly using is not only enabling, but also dangerous for everyone involved.
3. Infidelity is the quickest way to lose any amount of trust between a married couple. The pain that a person feels when their partner commits adultery can be hard to let go. Divorce can be one of the first thoughts that crosses the mind of the broken hearted, but forgiveness should always be an option. In almost any situation, communication and support are the main things that any couple should try to strengthen before ever thinking of divorce. But, sometimes there is no hope when only one person is fighting to keep the marriage together.
At some point, everyone has the right to leave when there is no real bond left to heal.