3 Brutal Psychology Tactics People Use to Make You Question Reality

Have you ever had the sensation of doubt when someone challenges your own beliefs about yourself? When you finish a discussion feeling confused about what happened, even though you were sure of your information at the start?

You’re fine, and it’s not crazy.

You have just found out about one of the most powerful methods toxic people use to get into your mind. Because these tactics are so powerful, they can lead anyone to question their own mind, past experiences and what they think is real.

Let’s take a look at three of the toughest psychological tools manipulators employ to control their victims and how to spot them before they have a negative impact on you.

#1. DARVO

A particularly skillful case of manipulation is called DARVO, which stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. In response to being held responsible, offenders may use the DARVO technique to deny, attack and reverse the roles of victim and offender.

Imagine that you address someone about their actions that caused hurt.

They do not say sorry or accept responsibility for what they do.

Deny: “It never took place” or “You are just imagining this.”
Attack: “You’re too sensitive” or “It’s actually you who has an anger problem.”
Reverse: “I’m the real victim in this situation” and “You’re picking on me without reason.”

DARVO is a way to change the focus from the initial problem and target the victim. Instead of working on the main issue, you end up justifying your character. It’s a skillful way for abusers to make victims question themselves and their ability to stand up for themselves.

Experts have found that witnessing DARVO usually leads others to doubt the victim and blame them more. Therefore, DARVO hurts the target individual and also helps the manipulator look like the true victim to others.

Real life expirence;

• If your cheating partner finds out you have evidence and Instead of being sorry. They will put concern about their privacy.
• A bully in the workplace who, after being reported, says that you are targeting them and they are the victim

According to Prihandito, psychology expert, a narcissist can cover up what they did by denying it, insulting the person confronting them, and making the victim look like the offender, leading the victim to question themselves.

#2. Gaslighting

Gaslighting happens when someone intentionally makes someone else doubt their mind and senses. The name of this idea comes from a 1944 film where a husband gradually drives his wife to insanity by dimming the gas lights and acting as if it isn’t happening.

Sound familiar? Maybe this has happened to you: Although you are sure your partner promised to get the groceries, they deny ever making that promise. They also claim that you are wrong in your memories or that you are being too sensitive. As these things happen more often, you start to doubt your ability to remember and decide.

Researchers from the Cleveland Clinic explain that gaslighting is a type of abuse that can make you doubt every part of yourself. The methods are easy: Keeping you from accepting your experiences, making you believe you are the one who is wrong, and making you unsure of your own judgment.

Gaslighting can take place in friendships, families and other personal relationships. It might happen at home, at work or in social settings such as when your boss says you won’t get promoted and your friend claims a hurtful comment was just a joke.

The Warning Signs:

• Always doubting your memory of what occurred
• Getting disoriented after talking with some individuals
• Apologizing too much for things that you did not do
• Telling people that someone’s actions are not their fault
• Feeling that you have to watch your every move

From the 122 interviews used in the research, gaslighting is most often experienced through denial, distortion, isolation, and attacks on someone’s trustworthiness. The same thing always happens: you are told your feelings are wrong, and then you are blamed for the issue.

#3. Triangulation

A threat to exclude someone or to manipulate them is known as triangulation in psychology. Its purpose is to split and take over. Imagine that you are the pawn in an emotional chess game and you are not even aware of it.

In reality, Sarah finds out that her sister tells their mother Sarah doesn’t call and, at the same time, tells Sarah that their mother doesn’t want to hear from her. At the same time, the sister portrays herself as the kind daughter working hard to hold the family together. Sarah ends up regretting her behavior and not knowing that someone is taking advantage of the family drama.

Sometimes, a toxic or manipulative person with narcissistic traits will include a third person in their relationship to stay in command. They make sure that all communication goes through them, which gives them control over the story and the way people relate.

Common Triangulation Scenarios:

• A boss who passes on different instructions to employees and lets them fight over them
• When a parent shows greater care for one child and blames the other for all the problems, the siblings often don’t get along.
• A partner who mentions their ex to cause you to feel jealous and insecure
• A friend who talks negatively about mutual friends to various people and creates drama

Triangulation is a way that psychology uses to add a third person to a dispute, which usually results in emotional stress and problems in relationships . They benefit from the chaos and people’s attention, but others are the ones who suffer.

What makes this the most dangerous? Sometimes, the people involved in such a situation do not realize they are used for manipulation, or only one of them sees it. Sometimes, people don’t realize that their conversation about a friend is actually being used by someone else to harm them.

Why do these strategies make such a strong impact?

They make use of our common human psychological traits. When someone is being gaslighted, the abuser makes her feel that these are her only choices, which encourages her to accept the gaslighter’s point of view.

Our minds tend to believe people we know and doubt our own judgement when someone is very confident in their lies.

It is easier for abusers to get away with DARVO when people in the audience are guided by unquestioned social beliefs and stereotypes. Such manipulators understand which topics and biases will have the biggest impact on people.

I hope you enjoyed reading. This blog post comes from what I’ve learned and what I think and believe. Sign up for my Medium newsletter.

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