3 Fun First Date Ideas That Aren’t Meeting for Coffee

I recently read this story that stuck with me by Ossiana Tepfenhart
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This passage leaped out at me:

Ah, yes. Let’s go to a coffee shop where the lights are bright, the barista is overworked, and my name will be awkwardly spelled on a cup. Let’s see the rushes of interns on a coffee run while we sip. So romantic. So corporate.

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Honestly, I am tired of the coffee dates. Not because they are low effort — but because the atmosphere is not cohesive to anything in the realm of romance. It may come as a surprise, but I’ve never been on a good coffee date.

Shocking, I know.

Here’s how it usually goes:

We will talk for a couple of hours. Have friendly, pleasant conversations and learn more about each other. Sometimes, I get too caught up in finding the right amount of eye contact and worry about the potential for awkward pauses. (Yeah, I’m awkward.)
We will say we should do this again sometime.
Our connection will fizzle entirely before we even plan date two, usually due to mutual ghosting.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

The first date sets a foundation for future dates! Do we want it to fizzle, or do we want it to go somewhere?

I’ve been on great non-coffee dates with people I didn’t think were great matches initially. I imagine if we had met for coffee, it wouldn’t have gone as well. Some people don’t shine while sitting in a busy café with a cup of coffee. This is why I always suggest something different when I have the chance.

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Note: I usually spend some time getting to know someone over messages before agreeing to a date. This screening process helps me avoid some of bad dates (maybe?)

The five suggestions below are budget-friendly and low-stakes — in line with some of the reasons why people choose coffee dates in the first place.

What To Do Instead of a Coffee Date:

1. Go to a local event

This one is subjective to your area and you and your dates’ interests, but there are many options out there to explore!

Head over to Google and search “what to do in [your city] this weekend” and see what’s going on near you.

I found a sidewalk art festival, a food truck festival, and an outdoor movie event hosted by a local brewing company — all this weekend, all are free admission.

Why not try something new while enjoying different activities your city has to offer?

2. Attend a Free Museum Day/Night

On that note, most museums have a day or night at least once a month where they offer free admission.

This is an excellent opportunity to appreciate local attractions and learn a thing or two about art, history, science, etc.!

Look up your local museums and determine if/when they offer free admission. It will often be listed on their Visit, Admission, or FAQ pages.

3. Play a round of mini-golf

Mini-golf is another great activity to break out of the monotony of a coffee date. Of course, it costs more than a cup of coffee, but not by much! Instead of just sitting down and talking, mini-golf allows you to engage in a fun, low-stakes competition while getting to know your date.

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Takeaway

The idea of these coffee date alternatives is to try new things while getting to know someone. To put yourself in a scenario where you might see whether or not this could be someone that fits into your life, because really, when are you and your partner going to sit down for an hour at a café? Wouldn’t you rather do something fun with them? Try applying that mindset to your first dates!

And you never know — if it goes well, maybe there’ll be a second one.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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