3 Mistakes to Avoid Making in Your Relationship (If You Want a Lasting One)

A few months ago, I broke up with the girl I thought was the love of my life, the one I thought I would marry.

Upon reflecting, I realized I made certain mistakes that I should have avoided.

I should have known better (we all say in hindsight).

Today, I want to share with you those mistakes so perhaps you can avoid repeating them in your relationship.

Let’s dive in!

1. Poor work/life balance

It’s a classic mistake to make: Prioritizing work more than the rest of your life.

Just over a year into my relationship, I decided to open a restaurant. While my girlfriend was supportive at first, it became clear she had no idea how much time this would take off my hands.

As work got more stressful, the time and energy I spent on it increased..

To be clear, I do believe sometimes work should be your priority. This is especially necessary when starting a business.

Problems arise when your partner isn’t aware of how much time is needed, and when the time you do spend together is of low quality.

That was the biggest mistake I made. Even when I wasn’t working, I was thinking about it.

I was never present.

As my mind drifted towards work, we drifted apart.

If you’d like to avoid this, ensure that when work needs to be prioritized, the time you do get to spend with your partner is very intentional, meaningful and spent without distraction.

You need to be present when it matters.

2. Expecting my partner to know exactly what to do

We are all just kids in adult bodies, trying to figure out what to do, pretending we know what we are doing.

This is often the case in relationships, too.

For whatever reason, I expected my girlfriend to know what I needed, when I needed it, and exactly how to give this to me.

These kinds of expectations are not realistic.

Sure, there are some things you pick up on in relationships. But this comes from constant communication and years of repetition.

We are always changing, too, and as we change, we need to keep our partner in the loop.

Expecting my partner to know exactly how to support me in stressful times when I didn’t even know what kind of support I needed… was a mistake.

Continuously practicing self-awareness and being communicative can help prevent this mistake.

3. Continuing even though I knew it was over

Sometimes, we hold on to something we know is dead for far too long.

That’s what I did.

A few months before we broke up, she lied to me about something major.

Let’s be clear… Trust is one of the most important things to keep a healthy relationship.

Typically, I would have broken up with my girlfriend in this situation, but this was the girl I wanted to marry, so I decided to keep going.

In my heart, I knew it was done the whole time.

The signs?

For one, there was little to no effort from her to rebuild the trust in our relationship. And then on top of that, she lied again, a couple of times.

Fool me once…

If you want a lasting relationship, don’t stick in one you know in your heart is over. You are wasting time that could be spent with the right person.

There are many reasons why I may have been lied to, but the reason does not really matter if trust is one of the values you hold.

It’s important to move on when it’s dead, so you can move on to finding the right person.

Closing thoughts

We will always make mistakes in our relationships. These were the ones I made in my most recent one, but I’ve made different ones in my previous relationships.

What’s important is that we learn from our mistakes so we can improve in the future and prevent unnecessary pain and wasted time.

What are some mistakes you’ve made?

Thanks for reading

Be love

Join “Happiness Now,” my 5-minute free weekly email all about happiness. Enjoy life lessons that teach how to be happy, little self-improvement tips and quick bits of happiness.