One of the most earth-shattering, world-altering moments that can happen in a person’s life is the birth of their child.
It certainly was in mine, as my whole world before was professional wrestling, hunting, fishing, archery, and MMA. Yet, with the arrival of my daughters, I am now all about bedtime stories, Hello Kitty, and My Little Pony. The walls of my home are now festooned with Minnie Mouse Ear hats, finger paintings and other applications of a general nature that include various degrees of pink and girlie purple and surprisingly, I love everything about it. Really. No sarcasm at all. I love it, as everywhere I turn is a testimony to my two beautiful children.
I am the consummate overprotective father and look to keep my girls away from anything that might cause them the slightest discomfort.
But I worry.
I see and understand how the society we live in today has taken this desire of protection and allowed it to twist into something that possibly is a detriment to our kids. Now, more than ever, we are living in a society where the normal “obstacles” or “walls” that our children face as part of growing up are now perceived as something that should be avoided, lest they cause our kids distress.
The thought that “life is hard enough, so can’t our children just be kids and avoid all those feelings of loss and/or failure?” runs throughout our society at an all time high.
Now, I am all for the protection of our children, allowing our children to be children, and taking care to ensure their emotional well-being. I will even go so far as to say that I think that it’s a very good thing when it comes to guiding our young peoples’ personalities toward a default of expressing good manners and courtesy toward our fellow human beings. I will even state that I believe they should expect no less in return. After all, we need more of this in the world.
There is a lot of talk of “Millennials” and the level of entitlement that this particular generation appears to feel is their due.
There is also the characterization that these young adults have a hard fall in store for them when they grow up and get a taste of the real world. They are quickly squashed by the reality that the world does not see them as special, nor is the word fair, nor does it even care about them. They feel cheated when they realize that they are going to have to work and push and scrape and strive just as hard, if not harder, then those of us who came before them. Worst of all this doesn’t just apply to job opportunities, but to every single part of our lives.
Our children need to learn that, in order to get the things they want in life, they are both going to have to put in the work and the time. Not every opportunity, very few in fact, will give us the things we want in life quickly or easily and almost never both quickly AND easily. There will be falls, failures, setbacks, and other hindrances along the way, but those who manage to persevere and get past these things are the ones who are successful.
These are the people who achieve their dreams.
Here’s where the teaching moments in parenting come in. So, what are three things that parents should teach their children about to learn about perseverance?
Perseverance in Happiness
Never give up on your dreams. Follow them through. Push ever forward. Get up when, (not if, but when), you fall and keep moving forward because no one who has quit on their dreams has ever achieved their dreams.
Perseverance in Relationships
Despite the fairy tales and romantic comedies, maintaining a relationship is hard and requires effort from both parties.
Love brings you together, but perseverance through the rough patches (and there will be rough patches) is the thing that keeps you together. It can be hard work but, if you value the relationship, then the rewards will be worth it in the end. Communicate. Be considerate. Compromise. Never sacrifice who you are but never require the other person to sacrifice who they are either. Make time and make the effort to remember what brought you together in the first place.
Perseverance at Work
If you really want to be great at something, anything really, then you are going to have to put in the effort over time.
This is an inherently a slow process, which can be a difficult thing because we live in the present and have needs in the present. Stay the course and never forget why and for what you are striving. In the end greatness takes time, devotion and dedication to the craft no matter how naturally that craft may otherwise come to you.
In the end there are always going to be things in our life that impede us and the only real difference between those of us who reach the goal and those who don’t is the perseverance to get past those tough times and never give up.
Michael Weinberger is the author of Oogie The Bear’s Rainy Day Adventure, which tells the story of Oogie, a little bear who, despite all the obstacles set in front of him, doesn’t give up on achieving his goals. He lives in Las Vegas with his wife and two daughters.
