3 Simple Ways to Gain Confidence While Talking to a Romantic Interest

I’ve been in your shoes before.

You’re at the gym or coffee shop, or maybe you’re just walking down the street and passing the perfect person.

You have a thousand things you would say if you could muster up the courage to talk to them.

There is just one issue.

You’re still standing there.

You wish you had the confidence to act out one of those cheesy movie scenes where you’re full of swag and have a witty conversation in your back pocket.

But you don’t.

While I cannot flip a switch and give you a recipe that instantly changes your luck, I can provide some confidence-boosting tips.

Tip number one: stop scouring the internet for tips and tricks. I am kidding; read the article.

I jokingly give you tip number one because, by the end of this article, you will know that these tips and tricks are things you can easily change. After all, you do them daily.

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Check mark

The first thing you can do today to stop your lack of confidence from growing is to stop glamorizing someone you don’t even know.

Let’s say you know the person or have someone in mind. Stop glamorizing that person as well.

We are all guilty, but you do this weird thing applying positive characteristics to someone you haven’t talked to face to face.

Since they are good-looking, they’re also caring, compassionate, attentive, and funny.

Huh? Throw all that out the window.

It can take time to put into action but the next time you interact with someone you find attractive, say this to yourself: check, what else?

Why do you put people on a pedestal they have yet to prove themselves worthy?

I am not saying to become jaded and overly skeptical of everyone you meet, but I am telling you to make people prove themselves.

You are scared of interacting with your assumed values of that person rather than who someone has proven themselves to be. Read that again.

Check, next step?

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Numbers game

Tip number two is the launching point for enhancing your communication skills in your dating life.

While this trick works in other facets of your life, let’s stick to the game plan and focus on your dating life.

Don’t forget; to climb the mountain, you must start hiking. Don’t skip the numbers game.

The numbers game is simple: strike up as many conversations as possible with the gender of the person you are interested in engaging.

It may sound like a simple step to skip, but you are struggling with your confidence because you are not practicing.

Take advantage of every conversation you can.

The key is to do it whether or not you are attracted to the person.

You have to get used to being around the energy of what you are pursuing.

Talk to a random person in the same food aisle. Have a conversation with the person in the elevator with you. (awkward, I know, but it works!) Take advantage of every opportunity.

I promise this will alleviate the pressure you feel in interactions with that hot stranger. Learn how to have casual conversations.

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Grand finale

While the other steps are essential, the last step is vital.

Scoot your chair in and put your glasses on.

Stop disrespecting your value.

You walk through life as if everyone else has it figured out but you. You think you have to prove something to the world and other people.

You believe value increases or decreases based on your interaction with someone you don’t know.

If someone doesn’t value you, then on to the next.

Do you want to know the truth that most people can’t handle? A lot of people need someone who provides something they are missing.

You want to fill a void in beliefs or characteristics you don’t see in yourself, and a random person possesses the key to unlock that safe in your life.

Cut it out.

Again, the goal isn’t to look down on the world and be resentful; it isn’t that serious.

Remember, you’re the sh*t.

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Want a free 3 step guide on how to avoid rejection in pursuit of romantic interests? Here ya go.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:

White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism

Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box

The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer

What We Talk About When We Talk About Men

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Photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash