3 Strategies for Calming Children’s Fears of Adulthood

The little boy intently listened as his mother complained to her best friend about the miserable day she had at work.

“I hate my job!” the mom said with deep disgust. “They are always trying to stab me in the back. They just want to work me to death, and I get zilch in return! Now I come home and find that the roof has sprung a leak! How will I ever pay for that? Nothing but problems all the time!”

Then she glanced at her son, gently tousled his hair, and muttered, “Be glad you are just a kid and you don’t have to worry about all of this adult crap.”

What just happened? What impression has been made on the boy? What is his attitude likely going to be about growing up?

The boy might be thinking, “Well, if this is what adulthood is about, I’m going to pack a bag and go find Never Never Land. I don’t want any part of it!”

It could get even worse. His parents could also be overprotective and and make all decisions for him. Not only is he intimidated by growing up, he will be ill-prepared for adulthood if these conditions persist.

As a parent of three, I feel it is fine for my kids to understand that being an adult has numerous challenges, but I also don’t want them to fear adulthood. Despite the rough spots, adulthood is not one hundred percent negative. Maturity deeper understanding of life and independence.

Yet, many children have apprehension about growing up. I did. For the most part, I had a fine childhood, yet I was very aware of the challenges my parents faced. I wanted to stay a kid so that I could keep having fun without all of the heavy responsibility. Becoming an adult seemed overwhelming.

Here are three ways I help my children overcome any worries they may have about growing up. Perhaps you will find some of these tips useful.

1. Fun Should not End at Adulthood

Smiling is a great start. I laugh at their jokes and tell them some of my own. Going out and playing catch with them, playing games, sending the signal that, “Hey, guess what, guys… I am an adult, yet I still like to have fun.

Fun doesn’t have to end at adulthood. Being grown up doesn’t have to be all drudgery, all work and no play. Yes, there are many times when mom and dad are serious and have important things to tend to, but there are also times to let loose and be a little silly.

2. Teach Children about Adulthood

Adulthood looks pretty complex to a child. The idea of having to deal with adult issues seemed pretty intimidating to me. When I was a child, I would hear frightening words thrown around like “taxes,” “debt,” and “mortgage.” Some of those words still sound scary, but at least now I understand why they make me nervous.

I try to explain to my children what is going on in our adult world. I don’t just shove them off in a corner somewhere. Most of the time, I include them in what is going on in my adult world and try to explain things at their level. I figure the more I share and explain, the better they will be equipped to handle it when they become adults.

3 Give them Some Freedom and Independence

I try to let them have a certain degree of freedom and independence. Within certain boundaries, I let them make their own decisions as long as they aren’t going to make choices that will cause them hardship. For example, I let my kids decide how they want to use any money they receive as gifts or allowance. Another example is that they can choose what extracurricular activities they would like to participate in at school. I want them to build confidence and develop critical thinking skills. It will help them tremendously if they already have these skills as they leave childhood behind.

There you have three simple strategies I use to alleviate any trepidation my kids may feel towards their journey to adulthood. If my kids were to become obsessively afraid of growing up (Peter Pan Syndrome), I would seek professional help. But applying the three strategies above should go a long way in soothing their fears and helping them ease into adulthood with the tools to live a prosperous life filled with self-confidence.

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Photo by Skyler Ewing: https://www.pexels.com/photo/girl-in-black-top-looking-surprised-4681361/

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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