What kind of man are you? What kind of modern man do you want to become?
Now I’m not just talking about your body, being in shape, ripped, etc. Neither the clothes you wear nor the car you drive really make the man. I’m talking real stuff—like who are you? What is your mission? What are you willing to take a bullet for? When was the last time you felt like pulling a sword out and defending the woman you loved? Do you have the balls to commit to a personal code of honor, like chivalrous knights in medieval times? Even the simple basics of character—do you keep your word?
These questions should punch you in the face and wake you up from a sedating media that keeps it comfortably on the surface while trying to sell you an image of masculinity so packaged in slick looking stuff that you easily forget what true masculine greatness and character are about.
Take the health magazines aimed towards men. Decent info on diet and exercise, maybe a bit on sex and dating. Is that all there is to the modern man? Or fashion and style mags like GQ. Just a collection of big-named clothing brands, most of which want you to look like a European soccer player wearing extravagantly expensive clothing that fits way too tight in the crotch, bro. Or the BMW commercial with Captain Kirk’s voice (I actually really like Chris Pine) and I hear the message loud and clear to my male demographic—a successful man drives this car.
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I’m human, I’ll be honest. It’s quite tempting. I’m sure I would look and feel good stepping out of a Maserati in some Boss suit heading to the Playboy Mansion to pick up a large breasted young blonde babe, right? That’s pretty much the dream right there—everything a full-blooded American male can be.
What a joke.
And that’s just advertising and the media. There’s your boss, your girlfriend or wife, your family. The list goes on and on about other people and things that influence you. But what do you think? What do you want? And who do you want to be? That is the real question my friend. And I want to bring it to the surface and frame this discussion around building a generation of men who are strong, passionate, secure, successful, happy modern men. And we ain’t gonna get there by only talking about what color Maserati we want—pink or baby blue.
The process is a spiritual one. An exploration of the inner beast. A listening to your own heart, and when it differs from what the outside tells you, to stick with your gut to guide your ship. It involves your real dreams, and to what you are willing to devote and fight for. And it calls upon character, grit. Never giving up on the best man you can become, and starting to build that powerful force, one step, one day, one choice at a time.
Here are three actionable steps you can take to help begin to clarify your inner voice and vision and contrast from the outside messages that are often, in many times, inauthentic. Want to become a deeper modern man? Start here.
First: Get a piece of paper and make two columns. On the left column, write “What is expected” and on the right column, “What is true for me.” This is to compare and contrast your inner truth from the messages of the outside.
Second. On line one, write “Media: TV, movies, print, online” and write down the messages and expectations about who you should be, what you should do and what you should have under the EXPECTATIONS column. Then contrast that with both what you do want from that stuff (I actually like a nice well fitting navy suit) and what you do not (I hate golf–doctors are supposed to love it).
Third. Next line — People. You can break this down further if you want to PARENTS, childhood teachers, coaches, spouse/girlfriend, boss, etc. Same process. What do they want and expect from you, and what do you expect from yourself on the other hand. Often very insightful.
Unless you are a mutant X-Man, you’re not going to become a beast overnight. Starting a process, like we just did, and moving one step, one day at a time from the man you are to the real man you want to be – that is the way of the modern man. What are we waiting for?
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