A Better Dating App Experience
Let me know in the comments if this sounds familiar. You download a dating app with enthusiasm that this time could be different. Maybe this time you’ll find someone special—someone worth investing in, someone you could possibly build a life with.
So you start swiping, and then it begins.
Someone ghosts you after a couple of messages. Or you match with someone intriguing, but they don’t message you at all, and suddenly you’re afraid you’ve matched with a bot. Maybe a couple of matches cancel your date last minute. Or worst of all, you get no matches at all, making you feel hopeless, hurting your self-esteem, and making you regret ever trying.
If you’ve gone through this, you’re not alone. Millions of people share your struggle. Despite the fact that many people meet on apps now, they’ve also become one of the biggest sources of pain and frustration for daters.
But what if this year it didn’t have to be that way? What if you could approach these tools differently to maximize your chances of finding something meaningful?
In this video, I’m going to show you the four keys to doing just that.
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Here is a summary of the transcript from YouTube, slightly edited with AI.
The Truest Form of Wealth
If you’re new here, I’m Matthew Hussey. I’ve spent 18 years coaching thousands of people at all stages of their love lives. I’ve written two New York Times bestsellers, and my coaching programs help thousands of people find love every month.
In that time, I’ve made plenty of mistakes of my own, but I’ve also become a husband and a father. I’ve never had more love in my life than I do today.
I believe the truest form of wealth is the love we have in our lives in all forms. And in a world that feels increasingly disconnected, fractured, and lonely, I’m here to help create more of it.
Key #1: Be Intentional About Your Profile
You have a few seconds to stand out before someone decides to swipe right or left. Beyond clear, solo photos of you smiling, there are more subtle things that make a great profile.
A great profile avoids cliché. For example, “golden retriever energy” is often used to signal loyalty and emotional availability, but it ends up sounding generic. Instead, say something that feels uniquely you—like “still enjoys phone calls.”
A great profile also doesn’t bore someone with your hobbies. Your hobbies, job, or education are not your personality. They’re just parts of you. Show more of who you are beyond those labels.
It also avoids empty language. Phrases like “ambitious, kind, and knows how to enjoy the ride” sound fine but say very little. Compare that to something more specific and meaningful, like “ambitious, but protective of my time with the people I love.”
A Great Profile Is More Than One Note
It’s important to know your strengths—your wit, your empathy, your sincerity—but don’t overdo one trait and become one-dimensional.
What attracts people is contrast. Being sincere and funny, or humble and confident. That combination—the “and”—is what creates intrigue.
Key #2: Put Limits
This key is about avoiding burnout.
It’s easy to get lost on apps for hours and end up drained. Instead, limit how often you use them and how you engage. Maybe you allow yourself 10 swipes a day. Or focus on conversations with existing matches instead of constantly swiping for new ones.
If conversations feel shallow, take a small risk. Suggest a phone call or a casual date. Even if it ends things, you save time.
Also remember: texting strangers is naturally a bit awkward. To move things forward, someone has to take a risk. Share something about yourself, ask real questions, and if someone gives nothing back—move on.
The Year of Love
I’m hosting a free worldwide event this month called “The Year of Love.”
This isn’t about tactics—it’s about lifestyle. It’s about designing your year so that love becomes a natural outcome of how you live.
This approach helps you become a magnet for the right people by building a life where you’re confident, energized, and intentional.
You can sign up at lovein26.com.
Key #3: When to Give an Interaction the Benefit of the Doubt
This is the most challenging key because it requires nuance.
If someone cancels a date or disappears from a conversation, should you follow up or move on?
If you’re too generous, you risk burnout. If you’re too quick to cut people off, you might miss something good.
The rule: give the benefit of the doubt when the risk is low.
If someone drops off because your last message wasn’t engaging, or they’re slow to ask you out, a gentle nudge is fine. That’s low effort and low risk.
But if someone stands you up or cancels last minute, that suggests a deeper issue. Giving them another chance requires more emotional investment and risk.
Learn to distinguish between low-risk situations and red flags that signal disrespect.
Key #4: Make Apps Fun
Despite their downsides, dating apps can be fun—or at least less stressful—if you change your mindset.
Instead of making apps your sole focus, treat them as one part of your life. Ironically, when they’re not your main focus, you’re more likely to succeed.
A friend once told me about a bride who met her partner on a dating app. When asked how she did it, she said she treated dating apps like a video game—just a place to have fun conversations. One of those “players” ended up being her husband.
What if your life is the real game, and apps are just one way to interact with other players?
Many conversations won’t go anywhere, but one might lead to something meaningful.
Never Rely on Apps as Your Only Option
None of this guarantees success on dating apps. What it does is help protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being while increasing your chances.
If you’ve done everything right and still feel stuck, it’s okay to step back—or even walk away from apps entirely.
But never rely on them as your only option.
Continue meeting people in your real, everyday life. Apps should be an addition to your strategy, not the strategy itself.
If you want help creating a more sustainable and well-rounded plan for finding love, don’t forget to sign up for “The Year of Love.”
Thanks for reading. I’ll see you next time.
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This post was previously published on YouTube.
Blog → https://www.howtogettheguy.com/blog/ Facebook → https://facebook.com/CoachMatthewHussey Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/thematthewh… Twitter → https://twitter.com/matthewhussey ▼ Connect with Stephen ▼ Youtube → https://bit.ly/StephenHusseyYoutube Instagram → http://bit.ly/StephenHusseyIG
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Photo credit: unsplash
