4 Ways To Get on the Path of Self Actualization

Most of us were brought up with rules that define a successful life. We were expected to study hard, get good jobs, have a family, travel the world, have large groups of friends and be financially stable.

While those are admirable and attainable goals, there is more to life than just climbing the corporate ladder and people-pleasing.

In the hustle and bustle of life, we forget to focus on the one person who truly matters — ourselves. We’re focused on doing things for others and achieving what is expected of us that we morph into something other than our true self.

What is self-actualization?

The final stage of development in Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs; is the realization of one’s potential and limitations, along with the ability to assess yourself in a realistic and humanizing way.

Self-actualization can be interpreted in different ways and is sometimes confused with the need to be creative or successful in life. I see self-actualization as the ability to fully accept yourself, weakness and all, and how open you are to personal growth.

It is looking at yourself in the mirror. It is about being aware of who you are as a person without worrying if you fit into a mold or not.

What does self-actualization look like?

As with the definition of self-actualization, there is no cookie-cutter look to self-actualized people. In general, people who are in the process of self-actualization are independent, grounded, realistic, and compassionate.

They’re often described as those who go against the grain because they don’t live their lives based on the opinion of others. Their thought process can sometimes be different because they’re able to view life logically and rationally.

Most of all, they’re not fearful of life changes.

How do you achieve self-actualization?

Self-actualization is not a means to an end. It is a never-ending journey and there is no one-size-fits-all list that leads to enlightenment. Self-actualization requires you to look at yourself in the mirror and reflect on the person you are, and the person you ultimately want to be. It is cultivating positivity and shifting your behavior to fit your life goals and becoming the best version of yourself.

Achieving self-actualization is finally being happy with yourself as a person. If you’re currently feeling empty, unfulfilled, or just unhappy, maybe these small acts will help kick start that journey and point you in the right direction to becoming who you want to be.

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Live authentically.

We’ve heard this phrase many a time, and it’s become so cliched that it only serves as an inspirational saying, not a mantra. Living authentically means being honest with yourself, your needs, and your desires instead of living in accordance with what other people say or do. It means avoiding dishonesty or denial of your needs, whether it is physical, emotional, or mental.

Instead of comparing yourself to others, concentrate on what you would like to do for your life. Stop using the lives of others as a measure of what you have to be. There is nothing wrong with trying out new things, but don’t get sucked into the social pressure of doing what everyone else is doing just to fit in.

Self-actualization doesn’t involve the surrounding people. It is about you, and you alone.

Living authentically means not being stagnant. It means constantly shifting and learning about yourself by challenging old beliefs, facing fears, and finding out what truly makes you feel whole and alive. It is evolving to a level where you’re comfortable in your skin.

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Appreciate the little things.

This is another cliché phrase we’ve heard one too many times, but somehow forget that it means more than just a few words.

It is human nature to focus on negativity. Because of that, we sometimes feel like that is all that surrounds us. From watching the news to reading comments on social media — everything looks bleak, and that can blind us from the good in the world. A simple shift in your mindset can do wonders with how you view the world and your surroundings.

If it rains as you’re about to take a walk, at least you won’t have to water the plants that day. If you just lost your job, maybe it was time for you to take a break and pursue what you’ve always wanted to. A simple shift in your mindset can do wonders to how you look at things.

Appreciating the little things means focusing your attention on what brings you even the smallest amount of pleasure. It is looking at the silver linings in your day-to-day life, no matter how discouraging it may seem. It means feeling grateful for everyday things and not taking things for granted.

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Don’t stop growing.

Life has been known to throw curveballs now and then, sometimes in a string of unfortunate events. It may seem like you can never catch a break, and it’s just easier to give up.

What you should keep in mind is that it is not a crime to sometimes take a knee. But never give up because even the smallest progress is still progress.

Even getting out of bed every morning instead of burying yourself under the covers for the rest of the day is progress. We are not meant to stop growing and learning. Part of that includes opening yourself up to failures, challenges, and new opportunities.

Growth is moving on to the next task once you’ve conquered one. It means moving forward even after taking a few steps back. This is key to self-actualization because it is not a means to perfection but growth.

It means you’re never giving up on yourself.

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Develop compassion.

Compassion comes in many forms. It can be compassion for someone else, or even for yourself. It comes easily to some people, not so much for others, especially in the world we live in today.

To me, compassion means more than volunteering in charitable organizations or adopting a pet from the shelter. It is more than checking in on your neighbors or caring for your immediate family members.

My take on compassion is that it is all about understanding. Understanding that people have different experiences than you. It is understanding that what seems unnoticeable to you can be incredibly impactful to others. For instance, asking someone how they’re doing may seem trivial, but to them, it could provide a glimmer of hope that people still care.

It is understanding that no one is perfect, including yourself.

Compassion begins from within. You have to develop compassion for yourself before you can be compassionate to others. This means being gentle with yourself when it comes to failures or unavoidable circumstances. It means understanding your limitations and know that they’re not weaknesses.

Being compassionate with yourself means praising yourself for the good and not beating yourself up for the bad.

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No two people are alike. The journey to self-actualization will be different for everyone, and it is not something that can be accomplished overnight. It can sometimes seem overwhelming because it is perceived to be changing your core personality, but it is not.

It is a fulfilling journey of discovering yourself at your own pace, on your own path. My advice is to take each day as it comes and baby step your way to it.

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This post was previously published on Medium.

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