5 Analogies To Help Move Past Your Relationship Issues

Here we go again.

We have all been here before if we have been at a low point in our relationship, right?

A couple of good days or weeks go by, but the same issues pop up even tho you both swore it would be different.

We often lose sight of what a partnership truly is.

If we are on a basketball team together, for example, I cannot blame the loss on my teammate if they don’t score as much as me. There are days when they make up for my deficiencies as well. WE lost.

I use this analogy to put your issues into context. Things are not always perfect, but if you understand the principle, you will see how it relates to your relationship.

There are hundreds of analogies that describe your relationships. Here are a few that may help you move past some issues you’re seeing.

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Stock Market

If you know anything about the stock market, you know it is not the best time to be heavily invested right now.

If you know more basics, you know it’s a horrible time to panic and sell all your shares.

Relationships can work the same way. Sometimes you’re going to be up, and sometimes you’re going to be down. The real question is do you believe in the company?

Stocks take dips.

If you look at the performance, it can have an atrocious week. Had that stock performed well for a month, however? Did you invest in that stock when it was at a low?

We all want the crazy 1-week and 1-month returns. Some stocks need more time. As long as you see a future in the company, don’t sell.

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Principals office

Remember when you were on the playground as a kid, and someone pulled your hair, so you kicked them?

Maybe this never happened to you, but the moral of the story is you both got in trouble.

The principal didn’t care about who did what first; both people involved did something inappropriate, and both people suffered the consequences, no matter how unfair it felt.

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Stop finger-pointing in your relationships over who did what first.

You control your reaction just as you did on the playground. Was it unfair that you got your hair pulled and no one saw? Absolutely.

You could have also walked away, but you didn’t.

It doesn’t matter who started the fight if the result was a fight.

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Trust fall

Pretty Straight forward, right? Not exactly.

When I was younger, I used to think the trust fall was a simple exercise. Get a group of people, catch the person trusting you. Easy enough.

There is more to it tho. No offense but everyone is not the same shape, and some people require more resources to have a successful catch.

We are not all the same size when it comes to trauma. Some of us need more resources than others. Some of us have a hard time trusting others with the weight of our issues.

Your partner may be dealing with more weight than you know.

Your partner needs to know that when they fall back, you’ll be there to catch them and not drop them.

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Telephone

The telephone is the game we used to play where you’d sit in a circle and whisper a sentence to the person next to you. When the message got to the end of the group, blue melon turned into buffalo dung.

Stories get lost in translation when you and your partner are reliving events from the past and not attacking the issue when it presents itself.

The more and more times you tell it, the more the story changes.

When you relive events from the past over and over, you won’t even be angry about the original position you took.

You have to attack issues and finish them. Does that mean you forget? Not necessarily. It does mean that it is a promise to move on and grow from the issue.

When you don’t, you will inevitably harbor resentment and find yourself with more questions than answers as the issues stick in your mind.

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Chess

Chess is a crazy game.

Both opponents start with the same pieces, yet someone loses because the other has a better strategy.

I don’t use this analogy to tell you to try and one up to your partner to win.

You’re talented at chess when you’re able to look a move ahead. Another skill is being able to react based on your opponent’s move.

You must always look ahead in your relationship and see the next move. Do not get content when things are going well. When things are going well, is the best time to set up the next best move.

Be able to react to your partner’s emotions also.

A bad reaction to an opponent’s move will result in a loss. The same will happen in your relationship when you don’t react to your partner.

Understand triggers, habits, characteristics, and adjust accordingly. Most of us understand our partner but let frustration override logic. Be there and adjust in times of turmoil.

Relationships are hard work, cliche, right.

Most people think emotions create stable relationships, two people being in love.

Nah

What sets the foundation for a great relationship are the behaviors you use to elicit those emotions.

What are you doing on a day-to-day basis to grow as a unit? Relationships fall apart when people stop working together and start working against each other.

What you will find in these analogies are examples of what someone can do for the betterment of both parties, not what someone can do for themselves.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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