5 Beliefs That Are Destroying Your Dating

Can you imagine!

I tried to find a way to describe the sweet-and-sour nature of modern day dating, and I currently can’t seem to find a word.

Before we even start to relate the unpredictability of this important aspect of human life to the complication of the opposite gender.

Dating is generally confusing and challenging. While men blame this to the complication of understanding women. Women also blame it on the unpredictability and lack of loyalty of men.

Let’s be honest, the belief system of each gender also influences what we get from our dating life.

The way attraction easily fizzles out. The way we match wrong people. The way you are maltreated and cheated on and so on, all these are traceable to our belief system.

These belief systems or mindset are silent. But they influence what happens, what works and what doesn’t, who shows up and what he/she does. All these without you even knowing.
Who knows, this belief system may even be sabotaging your dating life. To this effect, let’s break down the 5 common beliefs that are destroying your dating life.

1. ”I Don’t Have To Change To Attract Attract My Dream Woman”

Being bold and appreciating yourself is nice. And having a strong self esteem Is very commendable. But if you really want to attract the type of woman you want, you might need to adjust a few things about your mindset.

Just like a photographer that needs to shift or adjust his position in order to have a better shot. The object he intends to shoot may not move until the photographer changes his angle.

In order to have the type of woman you want, you may need a change of approach, mindset, and evolve in the way you act and react to things to increase your chances of being attractive to the woman you’re attracted to.

2. “If She Doesn’t Like Me Right Away, It’s Over”

Most men fall deeply into this category. They think of love or like as a ready made commodity. They think about it as something that’s automatic, they don’t believe it can be built over time.

So if a woman doesn’t find them attractive immediately, they are off and their feelings fizzle out almost immediately.

Chemistry takes time to build. And it can grow as time goes on as both parties get to know each other.

You need to change your mindset to allow it to grow, instead of easily jumping from coast to coast finding a ready made connection.

Real connection requires effort, patience, understanding and giving space for relationships to boom instead of giving up too soon.

3. “I’m Not Good Enough For A Serious Relationship”

The feeling of being unworthy, inadequate or not good enough is the undoing of many men in the presence of women.

These feelings usually emanate from past unpalatable experiences like rejection, heartbreak, negative self talk.

However, everyone deserves love and connection. Unfortunately it’s your most predominant thoughts that will be reflected in your life.

For this reason, there’s a need to replace the pessimistic mindset or belief with optimism. With the right mindset, the right person will find and appreciate you, you’re someone’s spec. It’s important to raise your self-esteem and fully embrace love.

4. “Love Really Shouldn’t Be Hard”

Many men see men as challenging. They dislike the ups and downs that come with it. They see it as stress and they don’t want the stress. This makes some of the matured mtn to remain single longer than expected.
Why?
Because in their mind they have unrealistic expectations about dating and they run away from the hard work that comes with . meaningful relationship.

True love isn’t where conflicts or misunderstanding are absent. It’s where there’s a willingness to go on despite the conflicts and misunderstanding because of love.

5. “Women are Really the Ones that are Supposed to Change”

This belief sees women as the weak ones that need to evolve in order for things to work in a relationship. It places superiority on men than women. It means they need to adjust their way of seeing or doing things to make a relationship worthwhile for men.

This is a very wrong mindset. It takes two to tangle. This belief makes it hard for you to actually find faults in your own behavior or habits that are holding back your relationship.

If you want to prosper in a relationship, always be willing to reflect on your own growth. Always ask yourself, what can I do to be a better partner? How am I holding back this relationship? How can I improve my commitment, mode of communication and emotional availability?

Relationships should require efforts from both parties, expecting one person to do all the work, while you remain the same is immature and only leads to frustration and resentment.

Final Thoughts

You’re what you think. Change your thinking, change your life. Just a little change in your dating perspective might be the only shift you need for improved results in your dating life.
By changing these five limiting and toxic beliefs in your dating life, and replacing them with healthier and positive ones, you will see dating in a more interesting perspective.

Remember, relationships are two way traffic. The best relationship you will ever have with yourself is the best. For this reason, work on your mindset, be the best version you can ever be. And watch your dating life transformed overnight.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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