By Nadine Paull
Always sit next to your favorite relative
Whether it’s a parent, a grandparent, a sibling, or a cousin, always sit next to the most entertaining relative you can find. Seders can last for a long time, and with somebody dry and boring by your side, it will feel a lot longer. So if you know Aunt Jody is going to make hilarious, clever commentary throughout the night, sit next to Aunt Jody.
Don’t Fill Up on Matzah
While Matzah is undeniably tasty with some jelly on top, all those carbs will leave you feeling a little loaded down. As mom keeps the Matzah coming, remember to mix things up with some veggies and fresh foods so you can go the distance.
Don’t Drink 4 Full Glasses of Wine During the Seder
Despite the encouragement of tradition, it’s an amateur move to drink full glasses of wine every time another is required. Some Seders last for hours, and you’ll likely grow sleepier with every glass. You don’t want to be that person snoring during the plagues.
Ignore Cheesy Passover Pickup Lines
When your creepy fourth cousin’s co-worker asks you if you want to make this night really different from any other night, ignore him. He is obviously up to no good. When your family friend with no concept of personal space asks you at the Seder if you want to wander through his desert, ignore him too. And no, I do not need to be searched for Chametz, thank you very much.
Maror Bad. Charoset Good.
Seders are full of mildly confusing Hebrew words. So when the Seder leader announces it is time for the Maror, don’t dump a big spoonful of it onto your Matzah because, trust me, you will regret it. However, when it is time for the Charoset, you have got to load up. Everybody wants the Charoset so when it’s your turn, don’t be afraid to go a little crazy.
Hopefully these five lessons learned from Passovers past will help you get the most out of your Seders this year! Have a happy Passover filled with family, happiness, and Matzah (but not too much).
A version of this post was previously published on jscreen.org and is republished here with permission from the author.
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