5 Life Lessons That My Crush Taught Me Silently

I had a crush on a girl when I was in the 12th grade. She was a year older than me, but she never knew. She was pretty, funny, and smart. We used to be best friends until our friendship became awkward because I started having feelings for her. Unfortunately, she had no idea how to react, so we lost contact…except we still had a class together three years later in medicine, and once again, we were best friends. And once again, it turned awkward.

Besides our class, we had a small group at College that we hung out with after class. I would keep to myself most of the time as I didn’t like telling people what I was thinking. So one day, I told them something that they said pissed me off. And they used it against me.

The next thing I know, my crush has been telling everyone (including my ex-best friends) about how pathetic I am for “being in love with me.” She did not say anything mean to me directly, but she did say it in the presence of other people, which makes it sound even more hurtful. She never said it like that, but that’s why everyone came up with that conclusion.

I was devastated. It was the first time someone had ever rejected me. I cried myself to sleep that night, and luckily there was no Class the next day. When I got up the next morning, I saw that she had unfriended me on Facebook. I still could not go to college, but I did try to be happy for some time. Eventually, my ex-best friends apologized, and we all went back to the group we had before, with her included again.

Why did I tell you that story?

Because it proves one thing: People may not be able to read your mind, but they can sometimes see what you are going through without telling them. The truth is that we don’t need anyone else’s approval to be happy in life, but it is okay when other people seem so glad to share your happiness with you.

Well, let’s simply focus on some life lessons that my crush taught me.

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1. Vibe alone until you’re Valued:

My crush seemed like she always had a different vibe when she was with me. She has this caring personality, and she was so friendly that I couldn’t see her as a mean person. But after hearing from other people that she talked about me behind my back, I wondered why she even had to put me down like that.

I always wanted to be her friend. I used to be so nice to her too, and I always made time for her despite many projects and assignments. But I guess she just couldn’t handle the fact that she likes me, but I don’t want her back. So she just thought of me as a joke and a way to make herself feel better by putting other people down.

The lesson here is that if someone doesn’t vibe properly with you, then they’re probably not worth your time.

2. Be true to yourself:

My crush hid behind a mask, but she seemed so fake that I couldn’t see what was real and what wasn’t. She continued to show her true self and pretend to be someone else just because people thought she should act that way. She even said things to me, but not to anyone else, because if anyone heard them, they’d think she acted that way only for me.

I wish she would be true to herself. If she liked me, she wouldn’t care what other people thought. She could just be herself and not worry about what other people think of her.

The lesson is: Always choose to be honest because you never know who will accept you for who you are and who will reject you for your true self.

3. It’s okay to be scared:

My crush admitted that she’s afraid of being rejected, so she acts like she’s not interested in other people. She thinks it’s a loss for both of us if I don’t like her back, so it’s better to hide her feelings and pretend to be someone else just so the rejection wouldn’t hurt so much.

But you know what? You can still live with the pain of rejection. Don’t let it stop you from experiencing life. The truth is that you can’t avoid being rejected anyway, so you have to learn how to deal with it.

The lesson is: It’s okay to be scared, but it’s not okay to let fear stop you from doing things that can benefit your life.

4. Don’t be afraid of change:

My crush missed out on the opportunity for something great because she was scared of changing her usual routine and making new friends. But that’s what I think made the story fun. We lived in the same area, went to the same college, and grew up with people. We even had a class together for two years. But somehow, our paths changed, and we ended up being friends in grade six and growing apart until our friendship became awkward again in grade nine.

I know it sounds weird how we were best friends before and not friends after. But it just shows that people change, and having your old friends will eventually lead to you having more friends.

The lesson is: Don’t be afraid of change because no matter how bad it gets, it usually ends up changing your life for the better.

5. Don’t give up:

I couldn’t overcome my feelings for my crush at first because I was too hurt to even think about getting over her. I was upset about how she treated me and didn’t want to accept that she didn’t like me. I kept trying to talk to her and get her sympathy, but it didn’t work. She just told me that she accepted the fact that I will never like her back, and at the same time, that made me realize how sad she is.

So I tried my best to move on and focus on my happiness for some time. But I eventually found myself thinking about her again. It was then that I realized how much I liked her. I started to think about her romantically, and it went from there.

The lesson is: Don’t give up because if something is worth fighting for, then never give up.

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The Moral of the Story: You are not alone! This happened to me, and I’m sure it happens to everyone else who has been rejected like this. But never forget that people can’t read your mind, and you’re allowed to feel the pain of rejection.

Thank you for reading my story. I hope it helps you learn more about overcoming setbacks in life.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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