Just like with a new relationship, a situationship can be fun and exciting early on. You have someone to hang out with, someone to talk to, and someone to have sex with. It’s almost like you’re in a relationship… but you’re not.
And there lies the problem. A situationship can feel like a relationship, without there actually being any real commitment. This can cause a lot of issues that can wreak havoc on your heart, if you’re not careful.
Here are five signs it’s time to end your situationship.
1. You actually want a relationship.
If you actually want a relationship but have found yourself stuck in a situationship, you’re settling. You’re settling for less than what you want and less than what you deserve.
If you’ve talked to the person you’re in a situationship with about wanting to take things to the next level and they’re adamant about not wanting to make a commitment, then it may be time to move on.
2. You’re falling hard for them.
For some people, it can be difficult to separate your feelings from a situationship. You might find yourself falling in love with this person, even though you’re not actually together. This can blur the lines on what type of relationship you really have with each other. You might even assume that the person you’re in a situationship feels the same way you do, even if they haven’t expressed it.
3. The situationship is preventing you from keeping your options open.
When you’re in a situationship with no strings attached, you’re still free to date other people. But it can be a problem if you’re not trying to meet other people because your heart is set on the person you’ve been talking to.
Not only are you missing out on valuable opportunities, but you’re putting all of your eggs in one basket. And what if the person you’re in the situationship with is seeing other people while you’re 100% loyal to them (even though you have no reason to be)?
4. You often find yourself over analyzing and looking for signs that things are about to change.
Do you find yourself obsessing over every text, every call, and every interaction you have with the person you’re in a situationship with? Are you always looking for clues that they’re trying to hint about their real feelings or that they might make a commitment soon?
Remember that relationships aren’t a game of Clue. You shouldn’t have to take on the role of Sherlock Holmes in order to figure out if the person you’ve been spending time with wants something more.
The thing is, it’s not healthy for you to spend all this time over-analyzing, obsessing, and trying to figure it all out. You could just move on and get into a relationship with someone who won’t ever lead you into guessing how they feel or if things are ever going to progress.
5. You’ve been in this situationship for 3 months or longer.
It’s fair for someone to say they want to “see where things go” before making a real commitment. But if you have been stuck in this situationship for three months or longer and you’re still hoping for a commitment, don’t hold your breath.
Three months is more than enough time for someone to make up their minds. At this point, you just have to assume that if they wanted to, they would — and it speaks volumes that they haven’t. If they haven’t figured out by now that they want to be with you, it’s time to move on to someone who’s actually deserving of what you have to offer.
The Bottom Line
Although situationships can work for some people, many of us find ourselves settling for less than what we deserve because of our feelings for the other person. Ending the situationship can open the doors to a committed relationship that will bring you happiness instead of confusion and potential heartbreak.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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