We run into fake friends every day. We’ve all had that one friend who never bothered to show up when we need them. And those that stab us in the back and pretend to be our wingman or bestie.
Let’s say you were given an assignment to create a promo package for the next product launch. Your friend is a professional graphic designer so you reached out for their help in photo editing.
She promised to help you out but she never showed up. She knows this is not just an assignment, your promotion is attached to the project and she knows how desperate you are to impress your boss.
Instead of keeping to your plans, your friend makes up a flimsy excuse that just didn’t make sense. She said she had to leave town at the last minute for a family emergency. But soon you found out that she lied.
She never left town. You even saw photos of her and her boyfriend from an after-party on Instagram. You feel disappointed and betrayed.
You have been friends with this person for a long time, yet, you feel like you never knew who they really are.
Fake friends are easily spotted. But because we trust them, their bad attitude goes unnoticed. To help you spot a fake friend, here are 5 signs to watch out for.
They never initiate contact
Do you want to know why your friend never calls unless they need something from you?
It’s because they are not your true friends. When someone is faking their friendship, they don’t care what happens to you or the friendship.
They are never the first to strike up a conversation or make plans or check up on you. They are only friends with you out of convenience or circumstances.
Fake friends don’t make an effort to be good friends and stay in your life.
There are terrible at listening
You are telling your friend how horrible your day was. But she’s busy chatting with someone on her phone.
It can be difficult to trust someone who doesn’t show concern when you need a shoulder to lean on.
Fake friends are good at overburdening their friends with their problems. They will talk and talk but never pause to listen to what you have to say.
A true friend will be there for you during the good and bad times.
They are passive-aggressive towards you
We all have our bad days and we allow our temper to get the best of us. Even the most patient person in the world can get angry sometimes.
But fake people like to act passive-aggressive towards their friends by giving bad compliments, making side comments, and passing harsh criticisms as jokes.
If your friends like to make jokes at your expense and do not respect your feelings, then they are not your true friends.
They only care about power and money
A fake friend only sticks around those they benefit from. And they tend to gravitate toward others like that for superficial reasons.
Some fake people only like to hang around popular or attractive people. While others seek out those with wealth, status, or powers.
They want to climb up the social ladder and do not care whether they have to use people to get there.
You will know your friend is fake the moment you lose whatever they are after, whether is wealth, power, or status.
They act nice in front of you, but they are snakes behind you
There is nothing worst than having a two-faced friend. Fake friends are good at stabbing their friends in the back.
They will say nice things to your face. But the moment your turn your back, they turn into a completely different person.
Fake friends will use their kindness to gain your trust and then stab you in the back by gossiping about you or spreading the secret you shared with them in confidence.
Even if they are not taking behind your back, their intentions toward you are bad. And this can take a toll on your mental health
How to deal with a fake friend
Friendship is a balance of giving and taking — where the people in the relationship make the necessary commitment to fit into each other’s lives.
Just like in a romantic relationship, there are basic expectations such as respect and trust that should not be negotiated.
If your friend is trying to change you, disappear when you need them, speak ill of you behind your back, or make fun of you in front of others, then it’s time you leave the toxic relationship.
Be honest and tell them how you feel about their betrayal. Let them know why you have decided to distance yourself from them.
If they are willing to apologize and mend their ways, then forgive them.
It is better you stay without friends than be around someone who is constantly making your life miserable.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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