5 Signs They’ll Stay With You

Some people you date will only waste your time. They will never be a good match for you. Genuine people are rare, and being in a relationship with them is wonderful. They’re the kind that will stay with you. You can tell early on if someone is worth getting involved with by paying attention to these 5 signs.

They focus on you and the relationship — not themselves.

All of us have been there. You’re out on a date and the person sitting across from you spends the entire evening talking about themselves. You can’t get a word in, no matter how hard you try. After a while, you give up and start yawning, but they never get the hint.

That’s why it’s such a pleasure to be out with someone genuinely interested in your life and interests. They make you feel known. There’s a true connection.

With the right person, there’s no flirting or lusting after the server. They won’t ogle attractive people sashaying past your table — they just feel content to gaze in your eyes and give you their full attention. They’ll make you feel special, especially when you realize their cell phone is nowhere to be seen.

When someone is focused on you, they care about what your passions are. Even if they have entirely different interests than you do — they still want to know what you’re interested in. They’ll even try new experiences with you, to see if they like them. Of course, they shouldn’t change who they are or neglect their own hobbies, but it’s a good sign if they’re open to hearing about yours.

Even if they’re a Republican and you’re a Democrat, they will listen to what you have to say on current issues. They will respect your views— even if they disagree, and won’t force you to adapt their ideas.

This is the person who has empathy and understanding. They treat you with care and respect because they are capable of loving. They will never degrade you, or disrespect you. It’s not in their nature.

When you’re going through a difficult time, they will step up to the plate, and be there for you.

How will you know? When you first meet someone, listen carefully when they tell you how they took care of a sick friend, or helped a friend in need. See how empathetic they are and how they treat others in their life. If this is a person who routinely volunteers at a soup kitchen to feed less fortunate people (and doesn’t brag to others about it) it’s a good sign. You can comfortably predict that when you’re in need, they will be there for you.

Once you are seeing each other regularly, if work responsibilities force them to be away from you, they will express regret, and make it up to you as soon as possible. You won’t ever have to wonder if they care for you. You know it.

Your relationship is a priority.

There’s nothing worse than being in a relationship with someone who makes you feel bad for wanting to see them. Their buddies will always take priority. You feel like you always come in last.

Not with this person. As you both grow closer, they will allot more time in their schedule for you because they know how important you are to them.

Your relationship will grow stronger and stronger with greater intimacy. They will be devoted and invested in your relationship, and make sacrifices for the relationship. A study in 2010 showed that relationships where the partners are dedicated to a relationship and make constraints have greater stability. Owning a home together or merging your finances into a joint account are all signs that your partner is invested in your relationship.

Time with you will be more important to them than with other people. They won’t neglect their lifelong friends, but when your relationship deepens they will prioritize it over others. This person will make you feel like you matter to them.

Their actions will clearly show that you mean the world to them. This will not be a relationship of doubt — their devotion to you will be apparent to all.

They are relationship-oriented.

When you first start finding out about each other’s families, they’ll let you know that their parents have been happily married for years. They’ll casually mention their married friends and couples they know. It will become apparent to you that they think being part of a couple is a great idea and the only way to live. If their parents weren’t happily married and divorced it can still work out between the two of you if they learned from close relatives that modeled a happy marriage and have a strong desire to have a lasting relationship themselves.

If they make comments about how they think that single bachelor they know is immature, and think it’s wrong when a person cheats on their partner then you’ve found yourself someone who believes in loyalty and commitment. If they tell you that they can see themselves married in the future and could never imagine growing old single, then that’s a great sign. However, if they propose to you within the first couple of dates, then they’re either too inexperienced dating in general or a player.

It’s all about how they see themselves in the future. After you’ve been in a relationship for a while and they start including you in their future plans and life, they see your relationship enduring.

As time goes on, they will form a deep friendship with you along with the romance. They won’t ever force you to go against your morals or beliefs. When you need them they will climb mountains for you. When you’re having challenges or issues, they will work through them with you. They’ll never abandon you.

If they tell you they don’t want a relationship and like being single, don’t continue seeing them. It will be a colossal waste of your time.

They’re excited to be with you.

They will be happy to introduce you to everyone that matters to them in their lives. You will meet their friends early on, and when the relationship is established, your partner will be excited to introduce you to their family members.

It’s a great feeling knowing the person you’re with is proud to be with you. Even if you haven’t accomplished anything in life, your partner is happy to be by your side. Your presence will make them smile, and it’s definitely mutual. They will often take you out on the town and introduce you to others as their partner.

You will never be introduced as a friend or dear friend — it’s a girlfriend or boyfriend, partner or significant other. If they hide you, want to stay home alone with you all the time, and don’t take you out in public with them, that’s not a good sign.

They don’t drink regularly or do drugs.

No matter how wonderful someone is — if they’re an alcoholic or drug addict, you will never be first with them. Because alcohol and drugs will always be more important.

If you love an alcoholic, if you want things to work, they’ll have to quit their habit. You will have to be the tough one. If they love you, they will get treatment and give up their addiction. If they’ve chosen to suffer through the process of quitting their habit for love’s sake, you’ll gain a loyal partner.

Alcoholism destroys relationships. This is one thing you can’t overlook in the early stages of your relationship when you’re looking at the world with love colored glasses. Alcoholism can be fatal for your relationship or marriage. If you’ve ever seen a crack in a bowl, you will know that eventually, the crack will cause the bowl to break in half.

A partner who rejects addictive substances is a partner you can have a relationship with.