5 Signs You’re Being Cheated On

Being cheated on is one of the most painful things you can experience in a relationship. It comes with betrayal, sadness, and anger. The worst part is that it can feel absolutely blindsiding. Some of us might not even see it coming.

But the sad truth is that there are signs of cheating, whether our eyes are open to them or not. They’re subtle behavioral patterns that may make sense in hindsight.

Let’s take a closer look at five signs of cheating, according to science.

1. They’ve Begun to Emotionally Withdrawal

Sometimes it’s more about what your partner doesn’t do than what they do. Emotional withdrawal is one of the biggest red flags of cheating.

According to psychologists, many cheaters will emotionally distance themselves from their partners. This means less meaningful conversation, less time spent together, and an overwhelming feeling of no longer being “all in.”

Low emotional intimacy is one of the most common signs of infidelity, according to research.

2. They’re Acting Defensive

If your partner has been more defensive or even hostile, it could be a red flag that they’re having an affair. Research has found that cheaters tend to experience a lot of anxiety about being caught, which can cause them to lash out or get defensive.

A lot of the time, cheaters tend to blame their partners for their behavior, not taking accountability for their choices. This can lead them to feel more defensive.

3. They’ve Been Accusing You of Cheating

If your partner has begun to accuse you of cheating, that’s another sign of cheating to pay attention to. Multiple studies have found that cheaters tend to deflect suspicion by accusing their partners of doing what they’re doing. The goal is simple: they’re redirecting the attention to you in hopes that you won’t catch on to what they’re doing.

Sometimes people get suspicious for a reason. But if your loyalty is suddenly in question without any cause, this can be a huge red flag of an affair.

4. They’re Sneaky With Their Devices

Cheaters often go to great lengths to hide their online communications with other people. They’re likely to have burner phones, disappearing messages, and encrypted or alternate messaging apps (e.g., WhatsApp or Snapchat).

They might have no online presence, use secret emails, and change their passwords frequently.

The problem with this sign of cheating is that it can be difficult to find. Some cheaters will go to great lengths to not leave any digital trace that could potentially lead to exposing their affair.

Research has found that this sign of cheating is more common among people with Machiavellianism.

(To read more about personality traits linked to infidelity, check out 5 Personality Traits Cheaters Have, According to Science).

5. They Give You More Attention

Spoiler alert: Not all cheaters pull away or distance themselves emotionally. Sometimes, they actually show you more love and attention than they ever have in the past because they don’t want you to suspect that they’re having an affair.

If your significant other suddenly starts giving you more gifts, complimenting you, and initiating sex more often, it could be to distract or reassure you. Cheaters use love-bombing so that you don’t suspect anything, according to research. If it feels more manipulative than spontaneous, there may be an ulterior motive.

The Bottom Line

These are just five signs of cheating, according to science. Every relationship is different, and while the signs aren’t always obvious, they’re usually there.

At the end of the day, it’s important to trust your gut. If something feels off in your relationship, it probably is. And if something feels off, it might be time to reevaluate the situation. You deserve a stable relationship with a partner you can trust.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.