5 Subtle Signs It’s Time to Quit Your Relationship — With Zero Regrets

Some people don’t know when to walk away when their relationship became toxic. They don’t even know if it’s toxic.

I’ve certainly been one of those people who refused to admit that it’s time to call it quits. Because the relationship I was in has turned me into someone I didn’t recognize.

When you’re in a relationship with someone, you give so much of your time and energy into making it work. So if you happen to choose the wrong partner, not only you’ll lose time and energy but also the chance to meet someone else who’s right for you.

With that being said, you need to call it quits if your partner is showing these subtle signs:

1. They stopped putting in the efforts

It’s no secret that in order to build a long-lasting relationship, it takes two people to put in the effort. Not just once in a while but it’s constant work.

Many assume when you’re in the right relationship, it should be easy and effortless. The reality is of course, not as simple as that.

Even when you feel like you’re with the right person, it still takes a lot of work to reach a stable and healthy place in the relationship. It surely does make it easier when you’re with the right person but in no way it’ll make the work feels effortless.

So when one party decided to stop putting in the effort, it’s a clear sign they no longer care about the future of the relationship. Who knows they’ve started to pack and are ready to leave.

There’s always a subtle sign coming in when people are about to break your heart, you just need to listen to your gut more often.

2. When there’s an issue, they don’t care to find the best way to solve it

My first ex did exactly this.

He knew we had serious problems yet he refused to do anything about it. I eventually suggested some ideas on how to work on our trust issues together and his overly possessive behavior but his lack of effort threw me off completely.

You could do anything above and beyond to save the relationship and you could have the best solutions possible but if your partner isn’t willing to join you then what’s the point?

You’ll end up being the one who suffers trying to work through it. So be careful when the person you’re dating has started to care less when an issue occurs in the relationship.

You don’t want to be that person who forces a relationship to work meanwhile your partner is already busy planning his/her new life without you.

3. They don’t respect your boundaries enough

Having your partner respect your boundaries is very important if you want to build a long-lasting relationship.

Let’s say, you’re an introvert who needs a lot more time alone and you’d love to spend one day every week doing your own things. But your partner refuses to give you that space because they think you are supposed to be together all the time.

Or maybe they’re very insecure and think you’ll use that alone time to ‘sneak out’ and do shady things behind your back. While this might not affect your mental health during the “honeymoon phase”, it’ll eventually drain you.

This is also why some people become very resentful towards their partner over time because they don’t respect their boundaries enough and they don’t bother to enforce them more.

So when you see this sign is coming, you either need to communicate with your partner and remind them how important it is that you both respect each other’s boundaries or call it quits.

Nothing feels worse than being stuck in between those situations.

4. Your needs aren’t being ignored

We all have our needs that need to be fulfilled — no matter how secure you’re as a person. In fact, those secure people always need to make sure their needs are met by their partners.

They want to be the one who keeps on giving and giving meanwhile their partner doesn’t care about them.

So do a quick check-up on your current relationship and how things really are. Let’s stop romanticizing it. I’ve heard many complaints from my friends who say things like;

“Well, he barely listens to me but he got me a really expensive gift last year”

“Sex is really important for me and my partner haven’t been really interested in doing it later but he still helps me around the house though so I guess it’s fine.’

No, it’s not fine. At some point in your relationship, you need to know your tolerance limit and whether you’ve compromised too much just to avoid conflicts or make your partner happy.

Trust me, you’re too old to have a one-sided relationship. You deserve someone who cares about you as much as you do to them. That’s what a true adult partnership should look like.

5. Too much drama with very little happiness

Some people are so into drama. They push secure people because there’s no “challenge” in it. The messier their relationship is, the more challenged they’d feel.

This is what is so-called a toxic relationship. And you don’t want to be with that type of person. You can’t function well in other areas of your life if your relationship is such an emotional roller coaster all the time.

You can’t be productive and work on improving your career life when you have to deal with drama on daily basis.

That’s why at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how perfect one person is for us if they’re full of drama and negativity, then you’re better off without them.

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It’s easier to be done with a relationship when tragic things happen such as; being cheated or lied on. But it’s a lot harder when the signs are more subtle — it makes you stuck in limbo.

You have to convince yourself that you make the right decision by leaving them. Heck, sometimes you even think to give it a second try.

There are lots of doubts during this phase and the worst part about it all is no one can tell you the right decision to make.

But one thing I can tell you is this; when a relationship is mutual, you won’t have room to doubt your partner’s actions. You feel safe and secure that you both are in it for the long run.

If you don’t feel any of that, I’m sure you know what to do.

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I write about all things that you might struggle with in your love life. My main goal is to make you feel less alone on your journey. If you resonate with my stories, stay in tune by becoming a Medium member here or subscribe here when new articles are posted.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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