There is a lot of buzz around diversity, equity and inclusion these days. After the death of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor and more in 2020 the world had to stop and pay attention. Much of that stopping was in part because we were in the middle of a pandemic and the normal distractions of life weren’t present or weren’t as prominent at the time. It was a wakeup call for people who just didn’t know things were so bad in the United States. Many in my circle wondered “how did they not know?” Being transparent, there are some who did and didn’t care because it was not their problem. On the flip side though, it simply was not on the radar for others and many are kicking themselves today wondering how they missed it for so long.
Post 2020 protest time, a lot of people jumped in the arena to do the work typically done by social and racial justice advocates along with diversity, equity and inclusion professionals. Having more hands at the party waving the flag of “let’s fix this sh*t because it’s a hot mess” is a welcome site for people like me who quite honestly were exhausted. It didn’t take long, however for some who said they wanted to help to somehow decide they wanted to BE the help. They wanted to save the poor BIPOC and community who had been treated so poorly over the years. Don’t get it wrong, I am quite clear that these folks believed they had intentions. Some of it though, became a way to deal with the guilt they felt from ignoring what was happening, allowing it to happen, or simply being ignorant to anything happening at all. When people aren’t careful, it is easy to go from being a helper to being a guilt worker. It is easy to go from an ally mindset to a savior mindset without even thinking about it.
Some people feel they have to be the voice for people of color because no one was listening to us before. The real need instead is to amplify the voices of those who are marginalized or oppressed not take them over. By doing that, you then become the controller trying to control what was being controlled in the first place. See what I did there? It is a vicious cycle and it kind of pisses me off to see it happen over and over. If you want to help, listen and think about these tips:
- Amplify don’t speak for – part of the problem in the first place is that others were determined to operate as if they knew what was best for black and brown people. This makes it seem like we don’t have a voice. WE CAN TALK, we just need people to listen! Level the playing field, don’t drag me along on it.
- Share your platform don’t use it – if you have a platform that is large or impactful share it with those in diverse communities. Having a party where you are the only host is not sharing the platform. It means people still have to look to you for the answer. Haven’t we don’t enough of that? Where has it gotten us so far?
- Know what you do know and leave the rest to others – gaining more information about communities is necessary. It does not, however, make you an expert and there are still cultural norms and social behaviors that are better exhibited by those in that culture. Cultural appropriation is a real thing and not easily forgotten in some communities once the line is crossed. And also, all skin folk ain’t kinfolk. That has a bigger meaning than many can imagine but it’s worth understanding.
- Take your time – don’t be in a rush to be all things to all people. There are plenty of us burning the candle at both ends to do the work. Rushing in on a “save the people” chariot may backfire on you even though you totally mean well. It further supports a belief system that we are somehow deemed incompetent or weak. It is a slippery slope, please don’t slip off the edge. We may need support but we have to do this work because we understand our pain better than anyone.
- Go easy on yourself – if you made the mistake of burying your head in the sand before, just pull it out and perk up. Listen and learn. You can’t change it by suddenly doing a thousand diversity initiatives because you came late to the party. Take your time, do what you can, when you can, and learn so that you can be an “accomplice” as someone told me instead of an ally. As a team member, you are in this with me not over me, under me, or on top of me but with me.
There is a balanced way to help when you wake up from the “we don’t live in a biased world because I’m not biased” coma. We have been in this race for a long time dealing with racial and ethnic issues. We won’t fix it with the sweep of a pen, the cha-ching of your bank, or the guilt of your ancestors’ past. You must learn to truly practice anti-racism strategies in every part of your life to help gain an understanding of how much work needs to be done. You have to live this new walk and not just talk the talk.
We can do this together; but, you cannot take opportunities away from those who may have never had an opportunity in the first place. Make them available where you can and support them as you share the space for growth and unity. There is a place for everyone because there is much work to do. Let’s do it together.
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