5 Topics You Shouldn’t Talk About on a First ‘Valentine’ Date

My first time dating was stressfull. Number one was that I had a short amount of time to prepare. Number two, was that I had to shop for the appropriate outfit to wear. Number three, I had to find the best place that we could meet, and most importantly I had to make sure that I didn’t spend above my budget.

I had to think a lot to make sure that the time I was going to spend with that person was going to be perfect and impressive.

I focused so much on the challenges of what to wear, where to meet and how much I should and shouldn’t spend on a first date, that I forgot that there was also the challenge of picking out topics to talk about. Since it was my first time meeting this stranger, not knowing the appropriate topics to talk about was a total challenge.

There are lots of articles that mostly talk about What you should say or ask on a first date and little on What not to say on a first date. To be well prepared, it is important to know the both.

So below are some of the topics you should not bring up on a first date, if you don’t want your date to end as quickly as it began.

Disclaimer: I am not a ‘Dating Expert’ but with little of my experience, my opinion and research I am able to put together this article.

. . .

1. Talking about your family issues and achievements

It is important to make sure you drop every topic about your family at home. The last thing your date wants to hear is about you bragging about how rich your family is and how many companies your parents own. It gives the impression that you are immature and you are still living under your parents money or influence.

Do not speak about your family issues as well. Your date does not want to hear about your mother’s drug problems or your father’s secret love affairs with his secretary, even your sister’s gay boyfriend. Bringing your family issues up would only make your date think of you as someone who lacks the sense of boundary, or respect.

So it is advisable to leave your family out of your dating life.

Perhaps if your date wants to know about your family, then you could tell them the part about your family that you feel comfortable telling to someone you just met.

. . .

2. My Ex Talk

Her: My Ex has 8 rock ass abs, He had been featured on the covers of Vogue Magazine… He has homes in London, Paris, and even in the Amazon jungle… He speaks 7 languages fluently and even understands the language of animals… He plays ten different musical instruments… and sings better than Lucifer himself…

Me: …..

If you haven’t gotten over your ex yet, then I feel you shouldn’t date immediately. It is such a turn off for you to bring to the dating table a full list of your Ex’s achievements, while on a date with another person, who perhaps hasn’t mastered playing the flute not to talk about learning ten different musical instrument.

Rubbing a full list of all your ex’s achievement on the faces of the person you are dating is a way of showing the league that person is playing in. It simply makes that person you are dating feel inadequate.

. . .

3. Talking about private matters

Matters like.

‘How much do you make?’

‘How many men or women have you slept with?’

‘How old are you?’

‘How much do you weigh?’

‘What’s your bra size?’

And many more. Don’t… Just don’t bring these up.

. . .

4. Talking about your insecurities

Everyone on this planet earth have something he or she doesn’t like about themselves. We all have our insecurities. But it is your job to keep it to yourself when you are going on a first date with someone you know nothing about.

In the first place, for the other person to go on a date with you, shows that he doesn’t see your insecurities. They just see you, they see how attractive you are and want to spend some time with you. So do not spoil the mood by telling them about the things you don’t like about yourself.

. . .

Before I mention the last one on the list, here are some honorable or rather dishonorable mentions.

‘Is your sister seeing anyone?’

‘Can we go back to my parents home to watch Netflix and just chill?’

‘You are the first real person I have gone on a date with.’

‘Do you want to meet my boyfriend or husband?’

‘You look different from your profile picture.’

‘Can I call you my girlfriend or boyfriend now?’

‘Could you loan me $200?’

. . .

Talking about getting serious with the relationship

I know you are tired of having a one night stand with random people in cheap motels, and you want to settle down with someone you perhaps like.

But reconsider asking your date this question especially when you are just meeting the person for the first time.

Perhaps your date might have that in mind as well, but would like to take things rather slow, just to know who you are and also know how you would react to certain situations before investing emotionally into a relationship.

Bringing this topic out would perhaps only make your date back out from dating you again. Relationships takes time.

. . .

First dates can be intimidating, but if you want someone to enjoy having gone out on a date with you, then you should know the Topics to and not to talk about on a first date.

I hope this few points above helps. Have a wonderful first date.

—

This post was previously published on Medium.

***