5 Toxic Traits in Lovers

Loving toxic people can fast-forward your journey to therapy. The situation is tempting. Hormones can make you go against everything you believe in within the moment. Fireworks of passion leave you emotional and drained. It happens to the best of us.

Look out for these five traits.

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1. They redirect questions

Never underestimate lovers. I had a coworker who had sex with someone unrelenting in pursuing her. After they got intimate, he ghosted her. She had depression a few months following the relationship.

If someone shifts the focus onto you with every question, take note. Someone only wants to know you. But you can’t get to learn about the person. Be careful.

If you have insecurities, mental health issues, or other problems, they will find out. Then, use them against you. A well-suited date shares aspects of their life with you, too.

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2. They have no honor

If someone can lie about meaningless stuff, when will they not fudge the truth? Honesty is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. Without trust, you’re like two intimate strangers. Nothing was ever real except a few orgasms.

Breaking up with someone dishonest prevents annoying and painful lessons. It hurts more to think about how gullible or stupid you might have been. I prefer the lesser of two evils. It saves you plenty of heartaches.

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3. They crush your spirit

If you can only be yourself alone, that’s not a good sign. To flourish in a relationship, you need to have the freedom to be yourself around your lover. Repression, adjusting, and not being yourself can lead you to flirt and cheat on your partner.

Start with a light introduction to your taboo or weird habits or fetish. Waiting for them to love the whole you can mean hiding this quality about yourself again. This condition is a deal-breaker. When you accept yourself; but cannot be yourself in the bedroom or outside.

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4. They make you feel dirty

Everyone has their likes and dislikes in the bedroom. You might be into someone saying belittling statements during your sheet tango. If not? This person isn’t the one to have in your bed long-term. Sex is too short, complicated, and emotionally taxing. It’s not worth any form of abuse.

You had emotional baggage before you met them. Why let someone add to it? Cuddling and spending the night could be off-limits. But it’s best if the act is fulfilling. It makes you feel good, sexy, excited for the next round.

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5. They are cringeworthy

This one has no easy solution. The options are to have an uncomfortable conversation. Or avoid the elephant in the room for as long as possible. There is a personal quality that makes you not want to be with the person in public. You hold out to hope they change. With time, you get the strength to move on or accept them.

Thanks for reading!

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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