Some people prefer online dating because they don’t have the courage to face people in person.
They are afraid of embarrassment, of saying the wrong thing, of being rejected, and appearing too clingy.
It’s easy to think that it takes courage to meet people face to face because it means stepping out of your comfort zone, taking risks, and creating opportunities to attract someone.
However, there are more subtle ways to create opportunities for a man to chase you. Your superpower can do the heavy lifting and push men towards you.
Use adjacent sitting position
Some people avoid face-to-face dating because of the awkwardness of first dates.
If you want the guy to know that you are available and looking to mingle, don’t get too close when you go out with your friends. This makes it difficult for anyone to get close to you individually.
Instead of sitting face to face with your friends, try sitting adjacent to them.
In a sitting position, your knee should be 1cm away from the friend next to you. You want to make sure that half of your body is pointing towards your friend while the other half is facing the room.
By creating an open space between you and your friends, the guy can easily approach you without interrupting your friend’s conversation.
Communicate with your eyes
If you want to make people brave enough to talk to you, eye contact is essential.
Let’s say you are at a coffee shop and you see a guy you like. If you want to signal him to make a move on you, look around in his direction every ten seconds, maintain eye contact with him for five seconds, then look away and continue sipping your coffee.
You have to look at him at least five times at intervals until he realizes you want him to approach you. If possible, move your seat closer to his seat so it becomes easier for him to speak to you.
Close any space in between you two
Proximity is the distance between you and each other. Standing or sitting next to someone is probably one of the best indicators of attraction.
If you want to give the guy the green light to approach you, try sitting next to him, you can go back and forth around the room to get his attention.
You want it to be easy for him to hit on you without feeling uncomfortable. If the guy has to walk 12 to 20 feet to get close and talk to you, he will be discouraged from acting on the signals you are giving him.
Ask for favors he can’t refuse
Personally, I use this trick because it always works.
Imagine being at a bar, you walk up to a guy and ask him to please hold your coat for a second or if he could recommend something he has already eaten there.
He will feel obliged to grant your request or recommend his favorite meal, which gives him the permission to strike up a conversation with you at that moment.
The best part about this tactic is that they wouldn’t know you’re hitting on them. They will see it as an opportunity to be gracious and chivalrous towards you.
Keep your conversation casual
One of the things that make us nervous to talk to people is we overthink how much we have to say in the first twenty minutes of meeting them.
You think too much about what you have to say, how to keep the conversation interesting, how to request each other’s number, etc.
But the truth is, what you say isn’t as important as how you make it feel. It is the warmth of your words that makes him feel comfortable responding to what you have said.
Putting pressure on the future of a potential date, can make things really awkward. And you may want to avoid dating as long as you can.
However, as you practice these strategies, you will start to get comfortable with yourself and around people.
To refresh your memory on how to present yourself so a guy can approach you — sit adjacent to your friends, communicate with the eyes, close any physical space, ask for simple favors and keep your conversation casual.
If you ever feel awkward at some point, acknowledge the awkwardness to yourself and maybe even your date. It will actually relax things a bit.
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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