T’is the season, everyone is saying. It’s that time of year again to be gathered together with family and friends, celebrating the good times and commiserating the long runs of bad luck. But, not everyone truly enjoys this time of year because they are doing it alone. I’m talking about those of us who have lost our partners.
I’m in my second year. For me and suddenly singles like me, this is a long and lonely season. We have no interest dressing up in colorful sweatshirts and shaking miniature pompoms on sticks in the air. We don’t want to wear giant chunks of cheese on ours head or paint our faces half blue and half silver.
Oh, you thought I meant the Holiday season? No, sorry. I’m talking about the sorrow-filled hours that belong to the indifferent partners of football fanatics. Oh, we try, but some of us just aren’t interested in sports and that’s okay. It doesn’t make us love our mates any less. In fact, the well-adjusted Football Widow has devised a creative game plan to get through what could otherwise be a very stressful time of year.
Before you go and say “Bah, Humbug!” to the whole notion of months on end of too many games to count, I’m going to share with you five things you can try to make it through this difficult time and come out on top and to assure you that, despite the loss, it does get easier. And if your other half is about to “Bah, Humbug” you over your preoccupation with the pigskin, forward this article, quick!
One: Don’t Get Defensive.
Leave the linebackers on the field. You aren’t going to change a darn thing by blocking the screen or encroaching on remote control possession so you can watch what you want instead of The Game. Let your partner rot their brain. You have better things to do than watch television anyway. Get up off your bum and do them. You’ll find hours of time to do things while your love is in game mode and out of your hair.
Two: Find A Hot Read.
Go to the library or your favorite bookstore and check out a couple of hot, steamy romances or erotica novels. While your partner is getting all excited about a bunch of men smashing into each other between two goal posts, you’ll be preparing yourself for a another kind of huddle between the sheets. Can anyone say, “Touchdown!”?
Three: Stay Open.
Will it really kill you to learn the teams they like, cheer them on, or pause ever so briefly to sit and watch with them? Some would say it’s downright romantic when we show interest each other’s favorite past times. How much do you love when your partner participates in something you enjoy doing even if you know they are less than thrilled? It’s the point that effort is being made to share in an experience. Try and see it as time spent together, even if you can only endure fifteen or twenty minutes. It will be appreciated and you’ll both gain some relationship yardage.
Four: Be A Utility Player.
In other words, be flexible. Life isn’t fair, that’s just how it goes, but you can make the best of it by being adaptable. Very few couples, if any, have exactly the same passions. Maybe you love to sew. How about making a sewing project out of your partner’s favorite team colors? Do you like to cook? Decorate some football-themed cookies or cupcakes. Make a kick ass batch of salsa and have nachos for dinner beside your honey on the sofa. Nachos make anything better. Perhaps you’re a writer who enjoys research. Try writing a light hearted article about football and learn something new about the game in the process. Have him read the article. Hope he laughs. *wink wink* You get to do your thing. Your partner gets to do his.
Five: Take A Time Out.
During the hours upon hours of game play, you’ve managed to clean all the closets, baked and decorated several dozen cookies, make a full-sized quilt out of two-by-two green and yellow squares, read several very racy novels that have given you some great ideas and learned what a two-point-conversion is. Phew! It’s time to take a break. If your football-loving other half sits on the sofa, grab that quilt, snuggle in and nap. If you’re with a Jumper or a Yeller, it may be time to get out of the house and do some shopping. Call a friend and meet up for coffee or a movie.
Whether your partner is hookin’ them horns, making alligator jaws with their arms, or wearing an over-sized piece of corn on his head, it’s really all about having fun. As much as I love my guy, I’m quite certain that he’s going to have just as much luck making me love the game as I’m going to succeed in converting him into believing in ghosts and I’m perfectly alright with that. I’m not out to change the man and I hope he’s not out to change me.
I’ll let him enjoy his game because for him that’s what it’s all about. For me, it creates a lot of time where I can do just about anything I want to around the house or I can opt out and do some shopping or catching up with friends. Months of Seasonal Widowhood don’t have to be spent in misery or alone for that matter. The possibilities are endless it’s just a matter of figuring out what works for you and running with that ball.
Photo: Flickr/Phil Long