6 Reasons Why 'Average' Women Reject Good-looking Men

Let me be brutally honest: looks matter.

They’re not enough to build a solid relationship, but they’re the start. You need to feel attracted to your partner — otherwise, you may as well remain friends.

Looks will surely give you an advantage when it comes to dating.

So good-looking people will always be successful in relationships, right?

Wrong. Human behavior is more complex than that, and beautiful people don’t always come on top — despite their advantage.

One of my friends, Jake, is an insanely handsome man. He cares for his looks, works out, wears nice clothes, and is extremely confident. Most girls are attracted to him, and he has no trouble finding one-night stands. You’d think he’s a lucky guy.

Still, Jake faces his fair share of rejections.

As a woman, I can see how attractive he is. As his friend, I also see his lovely personality. In my position, it’s difficult to imagine what would make a woman reject him. So I asked him what these women say when they leave him.

Here are the reasons why women reject good-looking men:

1. You don’t want the same things.

Relationships are long-term partnerships. You need to walk in the same direction; otherwise, it doesn’t work.

Couples who want different things simply don’t work for the long term. If a woman wants children and the man doesn’t, there’s no way around it; they’ll either break up or be unhappy together.

Women who think for the long-term will reject a good-looking guy if they have different life goals.

This woman knows what matters most for her. She also knows that getting involved with a man who doesn’t want the same things will be a waste of time. Although she’s attracted to him, he’ll set her away from her goal, and not even Brad Pitt is worth it.

2. You pressure her.

Good-looking men are intimidating. Most men are perfectly happy with their average looks — so a man who cares and puts in the effort can easily stand out.

The problem is that women will compare their beauty to this man, and they might feel out of place.

Imagine this: the woman already cares for her looks. She goes to the gym, watches her diet, wears make-up, and dresses nicely. Now, she met a good-looking guy who knows he’s better-looking than her. With time, he pressures her to increase her beauty, despite all her efforts.

Yes, relationships take effort, and it feels uncomfortable at times. But, overall, love is supposed to make you feel good about yourself. If a woman feels pressured, she’ll leave.

3. You don’t know how to communicate.

The secret of successful relationships is communication. Long-lasting couples understand and discuss their feelings openly.

Jake is a sweet guy, but he has terrible communication skills — he tends to talk about himself and neglect his partner. Although confidence is amazing, it makes him an awful listener. It’s like Jake plays a single-player game when relationships are multi-player.

Women want to feel special. So when a good-looking guy doesn’t appreciate her, she’ll leave.

4. You’re involved with someone else.

Good-looking men have the power of choice. Chances are, this man will use this power in his best interest and meet many women. The problem is when he dates more than one woman at the same time.

Mature women don’t want to compete with other women. You shouldn’t compete in relationships.

They want to meet interesting people and work on a solid relationship. A man who dates other people is not truly interested in you. He’s not obliged to be exclusive to you if you’re not serious, but this behavior shows that you have different priorities.

5. You don’t support her ambitions.

Outstanding women have high ambitions. The problem is that high ambitions are difficult to achieve. They take effort, time, discipline, and energy. Mostly, they take sacrifice. Guess what else takes sacrifices? Relationships.

Although ambitious women are willing to make sacrifices for their relationships, they can’t give up on their dreams.

Your partner will have a great impact on your life. Successful women are aware of this dynamic, and they will not exchange their dreams for a good-looking guy.

6. You have different personalities.

You will not find a partner who has the exact same interests as you. Relationships force you to deal with differences — and that’s okay.

However, a partner with an opposite personality is extremely challenging.

Imagine this: you love to sleep in, and your partner prefers to get up at 5 am every day to work out. Working out is one of his priorities: his friends love sports, he follows a restrictive diet, and his hobbies are all about sports. You’re the complete opposite, and, with time, these differences add up.

There’s nothing wrong with his lifestyle. But different people have trouble building a routine together.

…

Women reject good-looking men because relationships require more. Yes, the looks are important. But hobbies, values, ethics, communication, and ambitions also play a role.

Sure, women will love to have a one-night-stand with a handsome man — but that’s all. For a long-term commitment, they need more.

So yes, keep working on your looks. However, don’t expect your looks to do all the work.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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