6 Things a Narcissist Will Desperately Try to Stop You From Doing (And How to Do Them Anyway)

Welcome to life with a narcissist, a bizarre, one-person totalitarian state where you are the entire population and they are the insecure, micromanaging dictator.

In this sad little dictatorship, your freedom is a direct threat to their power. Your autonomy is an act of rebellion. Your happiness (if it doesn’t involve them) is high treason. They have a long destructive list of very specific things you are absolutely, under no circumstances, allowed to do.

Their entire pathetic existence is dedicated to preventing you from doing these six things. Which is why, of course, you must dedicate your life to mastering them. This isn’t just a to-do list; it is your declaration of independence.

1. They Try to Stop You From: Having Boundaries

To a narcissist, you are not a person; you are a 24/7 convenience store, and they are your only customer. They expect you to be open at all hours, fully stocked with whatever they need, be it praise, money, or a target for their rage.

A boundary — the simple act of saying “no” — is not a reasonable request to them. It is an outrageous act of rebellion. It is you, the humble shopkeeper, telling the king he can’t have a free Slurpee at 3 a.m.

Your Cunning Counter-Move: You don’t say “no.” You become simply unavailable and offer a plausible reason for your absence. “Oh, I’d love to hear your three-hour monologue about your terrible boss, but I have a work assignment with a tight deadline.” You’re not refusing their demands — you’re just occasionally, conveniently, and believably, busy, preserving the energy you need to plan your eventual exit from the convenience store business.

2. They Try to Stop You From: Speaking Up

Your opinions, needs, and feelings are, to a narcissist, annoying little glitches in their perfect matrix. Voicing them is a punishable offense. The punishment can range from a full-blown rage-a-thon to a guilt trip of epic proportions, or the chillingly effective silent treatment.

Your Cunning Counter-Move: You stop asking for permission to have needs and start outsourcing them. You don’t ask the dictator for food; you find a secret supply line. You find other, healthier people to meet your emotional needs. If you absolutely must voice an opinion, you do so with the calm detachment of a scientist, and you hit the “record” button on your phone first. Let their inevitable, insane reaction be an entry into your growing dossier of their war crimes.

3. They Try to Stop You From: Having a Future (That Doesn’t Involve Them)

The narcissist needs you focused on one thing and one thing only: their present. Your goals, your ambitions, your dreams of a future that doesn’t involve them as the main character are a direct threat to their control.

Your Cunning Counter-Move: You become a master of the double life. You publicly focus on them, while secretly, you are building your own damn kingdom. Your future has two primary pillars: Money and God. Financial freedom is your ticket out of their physical prison. A relationship with God is your ticket out of their psychological one. You work on both, quietly, diligently, and with the focus of a revolutionary planning a coup.

4. They Try to Stop You From: Calling Out Their Lies

A narcissist’s reality is a fragile little house of cards built on a foundation of pure bullshit. Questioning their narrative, even gently, is like aiming a high-powered fan at their flimsy construction. They will treat it as an act of betrayal.

Your Cunning Counter-Move: You become the obsessive, meticulous historian of their lies. You know that arguing with them is pointless; it’s like trying to fact-check a professional liar in real-time. Instead, you write it all down. You create a written record of their ever-changing story. This prevents them from gaslighting you into insanity. If you must call out a lie, you do so politely, with a recording device running, turning their predictable meltdown into Exhibit B.

5. They Try to Stop You From: Recognizing the Abuse

Their greatest magic trick is convincing you that the abuse isn’t happening, or if it is, it’s your fault. They are masters of the gaslight, the spin, and the classic “you’re just too sensitive.”

Your Cunning Counter-Move: You become the lead investigator in the crime of your own abuse. You write it all down in a journal. What they said. What they did. How it made you feel. Abuse is often only recognizable in hindsight, like a slow-acting poison. Your journal is the lab report that proves you were poisoned. It is the one witness they can never intimidate, the one piece of evidence they can never destroy. This record prevents abuse amnesia. Without it, you remain a pawn; with it, you become a seer — clear-eyed, empowered, and a cunning strategist.

6. They Try to Stop You From: Leaving Them

This is the ultimate threat to their pathetic little ego. Your departure is the final, undeniable proof that they are not, in fact, the center of the universe. They will do everything in their power to prevent it — love-bombing, threats, guilt-tripping, and promises of a miraculous, overnight personality transplant.

Your Cunning Counter-Move: You do not announce your departure. You do not negotiate the terms of your surrender. You plan your escape with the secrecy and precision of a prisoner of war, and then, one day, you simply vanish. You execute a clean, sudden, and glorious exit, leaving them to stare at the empty space where their supply source used to be.

This is not just about survival — it’s about strategic victory. You are not merely a victim; you are a resistance fighter.

The Survivor’s War Chest is the definitive field toolkit for this quiet rebellion. It teaches the art of invisible resistance, so you never have to engage in a direct fight — a strategy that often backfires on victims, since abusers are always prepared for confrontation. Packed with dozens of examples and case studies from toxic situations, it is a masterclass in cunning, brutally effective strategies that help you anticipate every abusive move, protect your resources, and orchestrate your own brilliant, victorious escape — whether at home or in the workplace.

Stop letting them dictate the rules. It’s time to take control and start writing your own.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.